Last night was a strange night for me. For the first time in quite a while, I was able to spend time with friends. One would think I’d be thrilled at the opportunity, and that I’d come home refreshed and joyful after spending time with people. But, quite to the contrary, I had a miserable night, and much of the time I just wanted to leave. At one point, I was about to head home, but a friend decided to ride with me to the next destination, which foiled my plan (but it was good plan to foil!). My poor friend had to listen to me complain about just about everything under the sun, and I’m sure when we reached our destination, he was pleased to get out of my car! You see, I’ve learned lately, that having friends here is a strange thing. Sometimes they exist, and sometimes they don’t. I think part of that is because I’m a stranger to their world. I’ve come in from the outside, and though it appears I could and should fit in, I just don’t. They have a world completely different from mine, and it seems that unless I invite myself into it, they don’t think to bring me in. I’ll admit, that bothers me at times. I want to have real friends, to be included, and to have a place where I feel I belong. But, I am learning… this isn’t my world. Even in the States, I was not created to truly belong to this world. By the end of last night, though I wasn’t giddy and in my best of moods, I was glad I spent time with these people I call my friends (by the way, I do believe they are my friends, just… a different kind of friend I think). But before I went to bed, I decided to read some of my new book, “Keep a Quiet Heart,” by, none other than, Elisabeth Elliot. Though I have never talked to this woman in depth (I did meet her once though!), I believe she is my number one mentor in life! Every time I read something of hers, I am constantly drawn closer to Christ. Her writings, which are filled with scripture and not just her thoughts, teach me more every time I read them. I read a lot last night, and the better part of my morning today has been consumed by this book. I could not have read a better passage last night. First I was lead to Psalm 73:21-28… “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.” This is a cool Psalm… In the beginning of it, the writer talks about the temptation he has felt to be jealous of the world, to desire the wealth and ‘security’ that the world offers, but in the end he realizes how much greater it is to be with God, which is the very same thing I am realizing! In the chapter I read last night in the book, Elisabeth also writes, “Heaven is not here, it’s There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.” How easy it is to get caught up in longing for earthly passions and desires! Thank God for humbling moments in my life, when God brings me back to His side and corrects my desires to be in line with His! Like I said, I have been reading this book all morning, and I have read many wonderful things. I’m going to include some of them here… read them if you have the desire and/or the time, but it’s purely for your enrichment, and so that someday when I go back and read this I’ll remember what God is/was teaching me! God bless you!

“Learning to pray is learning to trust the wisdom, the power, and the love of our Heavenly Father, always so far beyond our dreams. He knows our need and knows ways to meet it that have never entered our heads. Things we feel sure we need for happiness may often lead to our ruin. Things we think will ruin us, if we believe what the Father tells us and surrender ourselves into His strong arms, bring us deliverance and joy.”

“God has allowed in the lives of each of us some sort of loss, the withdrawal of something we valued, in order that we may learn to offer ourselves a little more willingly, to allow the touch of death on one more thing we have clutched so tightly, and thus know the fullness and freedom and joy that much sooner. We’re not naturally inclined to love God and seek His Kingdom. Trouble may help to incline us – that is, it may tip us over, put some pressure on us, lean us in the right direction.”

“’Why does God do this to me?’ When I am inclined to ask this question, it loses its power when I remember that this Lord, into whose strong hands I long ago committed my life, is engineering a universe of unimaginable proportions and complexity. How could I possibly understand all that He must take into consideration as He deals with me, a single individual! He has given us countless assurances that we cannot get lost in the shuffle. He choreographs the ‘molecular dance’, which goes on every second of every minute of every day in every cell in the universe. For the record, one cell has about 200 trillion molecules. He makes note of the smallest seed and the tiniest sparrow. He is not too busy to keep records even of my falling hair. Yet in our darkness we suppose that He has overlooked us. He hasn’t.” (emphasis mine)

“Gold is gold, but it has to go through fire. Faith is even more precious, so faith will always have another test to stand. Remember God’s loving promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9, ‘My grace is all you need; power comes to its full strength in weakness.’”

“The worst pains we experience are not those of the sufferings itself but of our stubborn resistance to it, our resolute insistence on our independence… If we reject this cross, we will not find it in this world again. Here is the opportunity offered. Be patient. Wait on the Lord for whatever He appoints, wait quietly, wait trustingly. He holds every minute of ever hour of every day of the week of every month of every year in His hands. Thank Him in advance for what the future holds, for He is already there. “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup’ (Psalm 16:5). Shall we not gladly say, ‘I’ll take it, Lord! YES! I’ll trust you for everything. Bless the Lord, O my soul!’”

Be quiet, why this anxious heed
About thy tangled ways?
God knows them all, He giveth speed,
And He allows delays.
E.W.

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81