surrendering the page

You all know I've been working through a slump that I've been in... it's been harder for me to eat right... tougher to make myself go to the gym... and my desire just hasn't been there for me like it used to be! I mentioned before that a few weeks ago my sessions with Michael ended, and that was just the final straw that made my slump seem near impossible to crawl out of. The last few weeks have been tough, I'm not gonna lie... but they've been good. I know... that seems incredibly contradictory, so let me explain.

Michael taught me so much... so very much. So much that when I thought about doing this without him, it seemed too daunting to think about for too long! For 3 weeks I've hardly even wanted to go to the gym. This started to get better last week, and this week the desire has only increased. It was still weird though... to go and see Michael sometimes, but not be there to workout with him. Once I didn't have headphones, so I had to listen to him torture... I mean train... someone else (oh the horror!) haha... Jealousy is an ugly beast. I think what I missed the most was just the motivation I got from him. I can do the workouts now, no problem, but I just missed talking to him!

Well... yesterday I took my roommate, Ashley, to the gym. I introduced her to a few different movements and then put her through a workout. Go Ashley! I must not have killed her though, because when we were done, she joined the gym!! WOOHOO!! After she left, and I did my workout, I finally got the chance to chat with Michael and talk about how the last few weeks have been going. Finally the air was cleared and I literally left feeling so relieved. I feel like I'd still been hoping that someday I could afford Michael again... someday I'd have the money... someday I'd this or that. But now I am ok saying that the stage of this journey, where I needed to be taught so very much to even get started, is over. It's time for me to now continue to run this race alongside others and begin to teach others what I have been taught!

I feel like for the last 3 weeks, God has been trying to turn this page pf my life, and I've been pulling it back down with all my might. (I know that's not theologically correct... He can do whatever He wants with or without my approval, but bear with me here!) He's been trying to tell me, "it's over, it done, time to move on to new adventures," but I've been too stubborn, thinking that nothing could possibly be better that what I had. What utter foolishness on my part!

I'm finally excited again... excited to see what the future holds... excited to see what God writes on this page!!

pass it on...

If there's one thing my pre-k class has learned about this year, it's how to be healthy. I love hearing 4 and 5 year olds talk about healthy and unhealthy ("sometimes") foods or about why it is important to exercise or drink water. My classroom now has a 15 minute exercise time and multiple water breaks written into the schedule. I dare say that teaching little ones about fitness is becoming quite the passion of mine as I learn it for myself! Here's a peak at a spontaneous work out that happened outside today! The little guy in the yellow shirt called himself the "class trainer" today. It warmed my heart. :)

gym + friends = motivation!

Last night my friend Lori met me at the gym for a workout. I had a plan in mind, but nothing set in stone. I've been feeling very blah about the gym since a couple of weeks ago, when Michael told me that the new gym owner wouldn't let him give me the deal he'd been giving me. Seriously, I haven't even wanted to go to the gym! I'm really missing working out with Michael, but I have to learn that he is not the be all and end all of this journey. He was (is) a tool that God chose to use (& maybe will use again?) to help me get this journey off to a ridiculously good start, and I'm thankful for every workout I got to have with him! but I digress... back to last night...

Right as Lori and I finished our warm up, my friend, Scott, walked in. Scott and I go back to our Tarheel days, and have recently been reacquainted at good-ole Anytime Fitness. He's been very encouraging, and has mentioned a few times that if I needed any pointers, he'd be happy to help. So... last night he put Lori and I through a tough workout! I think when he said we'd be doing lunges, Lori squealed with delight. As a runner, Lori is used to lunges, and has been trying to get me to do them. Michael has never had me do them (he had a reason, but I forget what it was.) Oh. My. Goodness. This is probably TMI, but my bum hurts!! Never, in the last almost 8 months has that happened. Thanks, Lori and Scott. Thanks a lot!

We took a while to finish the workout since he showed us everything first, but I think it's safe to say that we enjoyed ourselves even though we were getting a beat down. Working out alongside friends makes it so much more fun! I look forward to working out with others in the near future... trail running with Ashley H. on Monday, spinning (for the first time ever) with Shyana at some point, working out with Christi and Becca at their gym, cross-fit classes with Ashley & Shane, more workouts with Lori, and come summer time, I want to head home to Sanford to go to at least one of Janel's ZUMBA classes! (yeah, I'm super excited about that) SO much fun to look forward to!!

On a final note, after I wrote my short little post on Monday, I saw one of the comments (on facebook) from a friend that I met in the Financial Peace University class back in September. I started that class at the same time as I started this journey. Seeing his name made me think back to that time. I thought, "if I want my finances in order, I don't hope and pray for a desire to get out of debt. That'll never work. No. I write a budget. I stick to it. I pay off the debt. I take action. Passion or no passion, action must be taken." SAME HERE! Yes, having a passion to exercise/eat right sure helps, but passion or no passion, action must be taken. And I'm taking it... one step at a time.

ps... scale reads 216... that's 43# down!

short & honest

Friends, I am struggling. Let me repeat that for emphasis... I. am. struggling. I have been stuck around the same weight for almost 2 months now and it's driving me insane. At first I felt like I was doing everything right and still not losing, which then gave way to me making more poor choices out of frustration. I need my passion back. Passion!? Where did you go?!? I figure that maybe if I start blogging again, and actually do it regularly, then maybe I'll have all of you wonderful internet friends to keep me accountable (yeah, all 3 of you! hehe). So, I'll write more tomorrow... but for today, pray for me to get that swift kick in the pants that got me started almost 8 months ago!!

Just for number's sake... today's weight = 218 ... 41# total lost, and 5 more to go by July 1st...

the ugly "I can't!"

Typically I write here about victorious moments in this journey. Today (just to remind you I'm a real person!) I'll share my not-so-wonderful gym experience...

Some ridiculously awesome person anonymously paid for me to have 2 training sessions with Michael. I have no idea who this person is, but if you're reading this... THANK YOU! Anyway, yesterday was the 2nd session. I have no idea why, but during 3 different exercises I found myself irritated with Michael that he was asking me to do something I "couldn't" do. Seriously, at one point I kinda wanted to just walk away because I was so frustrated with not being able to do the movement as well as I thought he wanted me to do it. I'd tell you what it was if I knew the name of it... but it involved holding myself up on the knee-up thingy and then stepping over a bar that Michael was holding in the air. (I know, hard to imagine, but I'm struggling to explain it properly! Sorry!)

The last thing Michael had me do was a set of 30 seconds on / 30 seconds off on the treadmill... with the treadmill at an incline of 10. Yikes! And he wanted me to jog... what!? I'm pretty sure I even said that out loud as he punched in the speed... I thought to myself, "what is he doing? who does he think I am? I can't keep up this pace on an incline of 10!" But you know what? I did do it. I even increased the speed... and on the last round, when he increased the incline to 11, I did that too.

What is it in me that keeps thinking "I can't"? During one of the 30 seconds off I said to Michael, "you know, I guess I didn't lose 30+ pounds doing easy stuff." And that's totally true... at no point in the last 6 months has this been easy, so why do I think that all of a sudden I'm just going to coast by and keep losing weight? I'm not sure where these ugly thoughts come from, but I'm glad I have recognized them and can fight them!

And Michael, if you're reading this, consider this my public apology for my crappy attitude yesterday! I apparently have a long way to go... Looking back on yesterday though, there is a small part of me that wishes I had walked off, just to see what you would've done. Would there have been an epic "biggest-loser-esque" shouting match at Anytime Fitness? hehe... One can only wonder.

And the winner is....

I have never been an athlete... I've never really tried to be. But when I signed up for the "Resolutionary War" men vs. women challenge at the gym back in January, I decided to actually give this thing a shot. The winner would be determined by # of workouts at the gym, pounds lost, and miles logged. When I started to see others' miles in the notebook, something lit inside me and all of a sudden I wanted to WIN! Seriously. I started thinking about how I could get to the gym as often as possible. A friend even had to fuss at me once so that I would take a day off and let my body rest. By golly, for once I wanted to win an athletic competition and I was going to do everything within my power to do it! And well... I did it!

I'm not even really sure yet what the prize is for winning... I know I should care, but honestly, though I look forward to a prize, I'm more excited about having my name on that board for all to see. Does that make me a prideful person? I hope not in a bad way... I am proud of myself and all the hard work I've been doing!

I am so incredibly thankful for all the friends I have who have been encouraging me along this journey (& will continue to I hope!). Winning this one competition is only one battle won in a war! There will be more battles to come, for sure... but I'm going to enjoy this victory for a little while. :)

Hanging out with myself on a Friday night!

When we had to turn in our availability to work at DPAC in the month of March, I took off this whole weekend. I had no real reason to, except that I just wanted a weekend without working! I had no clue what I would do on this Friday night, but I knew I was totally ok with the fact that as of Friday afternoon, I had no plans for Friday night! And it turned out to be a GREAT night of Bonnie time!!

1) I finally went to the Summit offices to turn in past receipts from kids' club... that'll be a nice check to get in a couple weeks!

2) Went to Best Buy to buy an arm band so I can workout around the gym without having to hold my iPhone anymore. I was worried that the band wouldn't fit around my arm... but it did! :) AND it was on sale. Score.

3) I was on my way to Barnes and Noble (see #4) when I realized that Lane Bryant was having a 40% off everything in the store sale. I am in serious need of some jeans that fit, so I stopped in. When the lady asked me what size I needed, I had no clue... before September, I was wearing a 24... and the ones that fit best were 18s!!! Woohoo! I ended up not getting any just because I didn't like them, but I was still grinning from ear to ear!

4) Went to Barnes and Noble in search of the perfect planner or journal to write my workouts in. I've been searching for a week and haven't been happy. Well... I found it! And I'm in love. It is an 18 month planner that just so happened to go from March 2011 (so I don't have to waste any pages) to August 2012! It has the perfect amount of space in it to write my workouts and times, and even has a place for notes in the back where I will be able to write out other people's workouts. As I was checking out, I spotted some Godiva chocolate... hmm... "I've been good today, and am heading to the gym in a bit, so YES, I will have some Godiva dark chocolate. Thank you, very much."

5) Then... I went to Dick's Sporting Goods to see if I could buy any of their workout clothes yet. Back around November, I went and nothing fit! It has been a goal of mine to be able to buy/wear something from under armour. I don't really know why... just a silly little goal. Well... back in November I walked out of there so broken hearted that nothing fit... tonight I left with a pair of workout capris and 2 shirts... one being my very first under armour shirt! (Oh, and the pants and under armour shirt were both on sale. Score again.) I love it. :) Maybe it helped me accomplish #6...

6) I headed to the gym for what I knew would be a tough workout. I've been getting my workouts from Michael's website, and I was not looking forward to this one! It's called "One Hour in Hell" *yikes* It's 10 minutes each, as many as possible of push-ups, ring-rows (modified pull-ups), sit-ups, and squats, with 5 minutes of rest between each one. To warm up, I decided to walk a little... then I decided I should try to run a little... and I ended up jogging for HALF A MILE!! WHAT?! Yep, .5 miles... I couldn't believe it. It honestly wasn't that long ago that I was shouting to the rooftops about .3 miles. I finished up the mile and began the real workout... ended up doing 118 push-ups, 88 ring rows, 170 sit-ups, and 254 squats. Then I did the bike for a few easy miles to cool down as I watched the rest of House on Hulu (I love my phone).

And now I'm home! Relaxed and ready to go to bed... It has been such a fantastic, joyous Friday night all by myself! I'm even excited about getting to sleep in in the morning. Ahh.... the simple things in life. Goodnight!!

somebody pinch me

I think I might be dreaming! Just last week I tweeted that plateaus suck... because well, they do! I had gone 2 and a half weeks with only a pound lost, and even that one fluctuated from day to day. Then, the very next day I stepped on the scales and 3 pounds disappeared. Then today, 2 more have vanished! That brings the 30x30 total to... are you ready for this????

16 POUNDS! (That makes a grand total of 32 since September 2010) WHAT!?! Are you kidding me? I stepped on and off the scale multiple times today just to make sure. In January, I was excited about losing 7 and I said that I didn't expect big numbers like that every month. I lost 9 pounds in February. I'm still a little bit in shock. :)

I'm also, as of last Thursday, without a trainer... officially at least. Michael is still at the gym, and I have no doubt that he will still be as encouraging as ever, but for at least 3 weeks, I'm going to do this on my own. I'm taking applications for workout buddies though... ladies? Help! :) Seriously, I'd love to have someone to workout with!

Last night I went to the gym after DPAC for a workout. I intentionally went late so that there wouldn't be as many people there and I could set up my little crossfit set up and go to work. My workout was: 5 rounds (as fast as possible) of... 10 (25lb) kettle bell deadlifts, 10 burpees, 10 (25lb) kettle bell swings, 10 ring rows (it's like an adjusted pull up), 10 air squats, 20 v-ups, and 20 tricep pull downs. OUCH! I was sweating like a crazy person, but I finished in less than 22 minutes! Woohoo! I had to prove to myself that I could workout without Michael. It's always hard when the training wheels come off, but oh so worth it!!

5 months and Valentine's Day!

Alrighty... let's get right down to business first...



Today = 5 months of the new and improved lifestyle = 27 lbs! This last month has been a pretty big one weight wise... 7 pounds since January 15th. As for the 30x30 goal... I am down 11 lbs since January 1, so I have 19 more to go by July 1! I'm starting to confuse myself will all these numbers! :)



This has been an up and down month for me. The scale has been awesome... sometimes despite my not as awesome eating habits creeping in from time to time. There have been a few times that I've eaten above my calorie count for no good reason at all, which definitely annoys me. And there have been times I chose ahead of time to go above my calorie count... like at a friend's birthday dinner and a super bowl party. I'm learning though, to plan ahead for events that will probably (or definitely!) entail yummy, not-so-good-for-me food by getting in a little extra exercise and drinking tons of water before and after. I also know that I am NOT on a diet... and there are going to be days when I eat more. Life happens. And life often involves food. I'm willing to take this slow if need be. :) All that said though, pounds are still coming off and I'm SUPER excited about that. All the muscle building work Michael had me doing at the beginning is totally paying off now.



I'm so INCREDIBLY excited to share with you all how my class celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday. My class has been learning about exercise and healthy food all year. It's just something that has really stuck with them, and it's important to me, so we are always discussing it. Last week, as a class, we created the menu for our "Healthy Heart" party, and they all brought in the food yesterday. The menu? Juice, apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, carrots, broccoli, cheez-its, popcorn, and graham crackers. When they all came in with their contributions, they were SO excited! They talked all day long about the party and had a blast celebrating our friendships AND our healthy hearts. :) Not one time did they ask where the cake, cookies, or candy was. They didn't miss it at all! Lord, teach me to eat like a little child!!

i used to be scared...

I used to be scared to run... but today my workout set included 4 .25 runs (or jogs... my "running" is still pretty slow). By the 4th one I so wanted to slow down, but I'm finally getting mentally strong enough to talk myself though it and just finish! Dang, that felt good.

I used to be scared of the "guy side" of the gym, otherwise known as the free weights... but today my workout set included 2 different movements that had to be done on the "guy side"... I think my favorite moment was when I went to get the 30 lb bar to do curls, and this guy grabbed it first. I figured I didn't want to wait around for him to finish, so I grabbed the 40lb bar... and did curls right beside him. hehe I'da hated to be that guy.

I used to be scared to talk to new visitors at Summit en Espanol for fear that they'd discover my limited ability to actually speak Espanol! But tonight I forced myself to talk to people I didn't know. I'll admit, I was nervous and I'm still going to be a little scared next time, but getting to know new people is great, and something I need to do much more often!

Fear is no good... I'm learning to face my fears head on and I am loving it! Life is too short to live in fear and "what if"s. Besides, God didn't give us a spirit of fear, and if fear is not from Him, then I don't want it! What an exciting journey this is... every day I grow more excited about where the Lord is taking me and how He is getting me there day after day! Life with Him is far from dull - that's for sure!

30x30 check in - Month 1

Friends! I apologize for going m.i.a. for a while there. I feel like I’ve been writing a blog in my head and then never sitting down to type it out – I’m sorry!

First and foremost, I’m officially one month into my 30x30 challenge, and I’m so very excited to report that I weighed in today at 236… for a grand total of 7 pounds lost in January! I’m excited to kick off the year with a good loss… knowing full well that every month won’t hold such high numbers (I’m hopeful that they will, but also realistic!). 23 more to go by July 1st!

I also wanted to report in on some exciting non-scale-related victories.

1)People are starting to notice! I’ve had a couple teachers ask if I’m losing weight and then ask what I’m doing. It’s so fun to be asked for advice on losing weight and working out. I never thought I’d be asked for such advice!

2)A couple weeks ago I saw a cool pair of pants on the clearance rack at Kohl’s. They were a size smaller than the pants I’ve been wearing, but decided that since they were so cheap, I’d try them. And… THEY FIT! Hooray!

3) I’m starting to create my own workouts. My time (for now) with Michael is drawing close to an end. I’ll be with him until the end of February, and then I’ll be on my own until I can afford him again. So, in preparation, he has been having me create my Thursday workouts. 2 weeks ago he helped talk me through how to make it, and then last week he told me to come with a workout prepared and we’d go from there! I felt like a little kid turning in a research paper on Thursday, but he said it was a great workout. Turns out it was a hard workout… and one that lead to the next victory!

4)I jogged .3 miles on the treadmill last week! I say I want to be a runner, but honestly, nothing scares me more than being pushed to run. I like to jog for a short bit, then slow back down, then repeat. But in the workout that I planned last week, I had 4 sections that included the treadmill. Basically there were 4 rounds – the first one was .4 miles, then some other movements, then .3 (and the other movements), then .2 and .1. After the first round, before getting back on the treadmill for the .3, Michael said, “here’s what you’re going to do. You’re gonna get on the treadmill, close your eyes, and take 2 deep breaths. Then we’re gonna set the treadmill at a jogging pace. And you’re not going to slow it down until you’re done.” WHAT!? I thought he was crazy. I’ve been trying to work up to jogging .25 miles, and here he was telling me I was going to jog .3. Yeah, right, Michael. Well, what do ya know… I did it. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest, but I did it! I could hardly believe it. Michael said he wouldn’t have asked me to do it if he didn’t believe I could do it. Kinda makes me wonder when I’ll start to fully believe in myself as much as he does. Something to ponder…

Well, there are more I’d like to share, but I know if I make this post too long, I’ll lose you. So, I will hold my other thoughts until a later date. Thanks for checking in – I’ll leave you all with a great quote I recently read…

“Act. It’s of God. (Philippians 2:13) If you do rather than lamenting what you can’t do, you will do more than you thought you could.” - John Piper

Make War!

Anyone who knows me at all knows that music plays a huge part in my life. The right song can stir up things in me that I didn't even know existed. There are quite a few songs that have already been special to me in just the last 4 months of this journey. Back at the beginning, my friend Cole suggested I listen to this song. I don't think I can thank him enough for his perfect suggestion. My favorite part of the song is the first 30 seconds. Pastor John Piper starts out the song with this...

"I hear so many Christians, murmuring about their imperfections, and their failures, and their addiction, and their shortcomings. And I see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur. Why am I this way? Make war!"

Dang. I feel like I should just leave it at that. I don't want to be a lazy Christian sitting around, looking at my little pet sin and doing nothing about it. Yes, Jesus has defeated both sin AND death, but while I'm here on this earth, I need to be fighting day in and day out. Check it: in the Bible, Paul says, "I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me." (Romans 7:23) If sin's going to be warring on me, you better believe I need to war right back. I'm ever so thankful that Jesus is on my side in the ring with me.

I've said enough... I'll let Tedashii say it the way he does best!

intervals, birthday cake, and 4 month update

There's a lot swimming around in this head of mine right now, but for now I have three things I am excited to share with you all!

1) Intervals... I have been reading about training / working out using intervals, and Michael has definitely used intervals in my workouts before, but typically when I work out on my own, I go for the old stand by of working out (on the treadmill or elliptical) at a decent pace for a long period of time. Yesterday, I decided to try intervals on my own. According to my reading, there are all kinds of advantages to intense interval training as opposed to longer, less intense training, but yesterday the one that I most was thinking of was that you're in and out faster, and I only had a brief time frame to work out in! Here's the gist of it... after a brief warm up, I set the elliptical on a level of 3 (to begin) and booked it as hard & fast as I could for one minute. One minute... anyone can do that, right? I got up to 13 mph for a little bit! The point is to be pretty much exhausted after one minute (& trust me, I was!). Then you bring the pace down and keep moving, but not super fast for 2 minutes. Then... you go again, for 8-10 rounds (at least that's what this article said). I had 30 minutes, so I did 10 rounds. I switched up the intensity sometimes during the sprint, to make things a little harder/different. Oh my gosh. I was dead after those 30 minutes! Much more dead than after an hour of less intensity. I'll definitely be doing this more often. I'm always looking for ways to change up my workout. Any suggestions??

2) Birthday cake... Last night was a friend's birthday party. They went to a restaurant for dinner that has very little healthy choices, so though I love my friends, I decided not to go. Besides, I was still recovering from the intervals! I also knew they were going to hang out after dinner, so I decided to catch up with them post dinner. But... I knew there was going to be cake there. And Costco cake at that. I'm not really a cake fan, but for some reason, I love Costco cake. I knew today was weigh in day, and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, so... I took some time to make myself look as nice as I could... nice enough at least that I felt awesome. hehe ;) The way I figured, if I feel like I look great, I'm not going to want to eat the cake that helps me look not so great. And? It worked! I was surprised with not just cake, but ice cream! My biggest temptation. But... I looked good... and I didn't even care about the cake OR the ice cream. Love it!

3) 4 month update... It was September 15th that I weighed in and decided to never ever see that number again. Today is January 15th... I lost 4 pounds this month, bringing the total to 20 pounds! (As for the 30x30 challenge, I'll update on that at the end of the month.) I picked up Cadey's 20 pound bag of dog food today and thought, "dang... that's how much of me is gone!" GONE!

thoughts on the Biggest Loser

“I came here thinking that my journey was gonna be a weight loss journey, but it’s really turned out to be much more, and I’m not even sure how to define the kind of journey it’s become yet.” -Biggest Loser contestant who’s name I can’t remember (oops)

One of the guys on this season’s Biggest Loser said this, and though I have absolutely no idea what it must be like to seriously get your butt kicked multiple times a day and have someone monitoring your food intake at all times, I can relate to what he’s saying.

Anyone who watches BL knows that Bob and Jillian don’t shy away from getting into the crap in people’s lives. Sometimes it’s a bit extreme (hey, it’s a show) but as I truck along on this journey, I’m realizing that it really is necessary to deal with more than just a number on a scale. Most of the time, I go to the gym and go through my workout. But I’m thankful that Michael doesn’t just stop with the workout and tell me to have a good day. He asks me about my life and checks in. He knows when I’m not focused and he finds out why. He encourages me to keep fighting, often when I’m not so sure I want to.

The first time I ran (farther/faster than I thought I could) I just about cried… I realized that I’m used to giving up when I’m tired, but Michael wouldn’t let me! Gosh… that did a number on my emotions. I don’t want to be a quitter, so why am I? Another day I took a tumble while doing a box jump. (That was embarrassing.) No more “just about” crying. I lost it. There was Michael, again, being his awesome self… pushing just enough to get me to talk, but not so much (thank God he’s not Jillian) that I wanted to punch him. I was so mad at myself for not being able to do the stupid jump, but Michael used the opportunity to remind me that I don’t want to be the person who can’t do whatever it is I want to do. Phew! What a moment. And yes, I did stop crying and got back up and finished the workout! (But he lowered the box. hehe)

Anyway… I’m rambling today, so I apologize. I just caught up last night on this new season of BL, and thought I’d share a little of my thoughts on it. I know, I know… 10+ pounds in a week is not normal, but I watch the show knowing that, so I don’t get sad when I step on the scale and only see -1. I do love seeing what other people are capable of. If a 500+ lb person can jog for 30 seconds at 5 mph, then I can jog farther and/or faster… no excuses. I get pretty excited when I see them do a movement/exercise that I’ve done in the gym. And I’ve definitely learned that the emotional rollercoaster they show on TV is not just for TV. I’m pretty sure I’ve only skimmed the surface of the emotions that come into play in this journey. Yikes!

So what about you? Anyone out there watch it? Why or why not? Thoughts?

And on that note… I have an appointment with destiny! (aka… Michael/the gym)

The gist...

How is it that I came to this point… this point of being sick and tired of the way I was treating my body? Well… I’m terrible at making stories (even short ones) short, but I’ll try my best!

I have been considerably overweight my entire life… I’d say from about 1st grade on. I’ve done every diet (good and bad) out there and have some “success” stories from them. I’ve always wanted to lose weight… but I just haven’t had the drive.

Somewhere around three years ago, JD (my pastor at the Summit) preached a sermon series on the 7 deadly sins. As we’re all aware, gluttony and sloth are 2 of them… that hit me… hard. I want to honor Jesus, and I was smacked in the face with the blunt reality (gotta love JD), that I wasn’t. I would love to say that I changed immediately after hearing these truths, but I didn’t. It wasn’t really until at least 2 years later that I started really caring. JD (there he is again) preached about having idols in your life, and even mentioned food being one of them. That was it. I was done pretending I was fine. Again, I wish I could say that I was changed immediately, but at least this time I started caring. I started asking my small group to pray for me. I started reading an excellent book called “Love to Eat, Hate to Eat,” by Elyse Fitzpatrick. I started reading my friend Kim’s blogs, which focused around her journey to becoming healthier and more Christ centered. At times I felt like I was moving in the right direction, but eventually I’d wander… this was such a frustrating time for me… I wanted to want this… but honestly? I just didn’t care as much as I knew I needed to.

At the beginning of 2010, I joined an amazing women’s small group. After getting to know my struggles, they went to work praying for me. They’d occasionally ask how I was doing, but more than anything, they prayed. And one day… I snapped.

Yep. Snapped. I got word of yet another lady that I know having gastric bypass surgery. She ended her email saying, “tomorrow begins a brand new day!” Something about that infuriated me. Not at this woman, but at the fact that this surgery is becoming way too popular as the quick fix to obesity. I decided at that moment, that I will not ever have this surgery. It’s not happening. Period. Around this same time, I also started thinking more about the fact that if God calls me to go back overseas, I didn’t feel physically ready at all, and that wasn’t ok with me. Also, around the same time (coincidence? I think not.) a friend mentioned I should check out his gym. So I did. And I joined. Within a week. Within about another week, I’d hired Michael, the personal trainer (yeah, never saw that one coming)… I’ll spotlight him in a future blog. A few lines here will never do him justice. That was around the middle of September, 2010. The past few months have been simply amazing. I’ve had ups and downs, but the ups have FAR outweighed the downs. I’ve lost about 16 pounds, and have gained strength, health/fitness knowledge, and determination.

I’m fully aware that this journey has only just begun. There will be challenging moments, but I am finally in a place where I am surrounded by people who love and encourage me on an almost daily basis. God has richly blessed me. I love knowing I’m living in a way that glorifies Him.

30x30

Every January 1st, the vast majority of people make New Year's Resolutions. These resolutions sometimes get a bad rap, probably because most of us don't really intend to keep said resolutions... and I must admit, I'm typically one of those people.

This year will be different. This year, as of January 1st, I have 6 months until my 30th birthday (July 1st). This year I am pushing myself to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday (hence, "30x30"). In a future blog, I plan to recap the general story of the fire that was lit under my tail about 3 1/2 months ago, which lead to me joining a new gym and hiring a personal trainer. For now, I'm simply putting this out there... on the oh-so public internet so that you, my friends, are all aware of this decision. No turning back now!

The ugly facts... today I weighed in at 243 (hey, better than the 259 back in Sept...) July 1st I'll need to be 213 (or less!).

I'm more than excited about this challenge in my life. In the last few months, the Lord has already taught me so very much about discipline and taking care of the only body He gave me. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months hold!