surrendering the page

You all know I've been working through a slump that I've been in... it's been harder for me to eat right... tougher to make myself go to the gym... and my desire just hasn't been there for me like it used to be! I mentioned before that a few weeks ago my sessions with Michael ended, and that was just the final straw that made my slump seem near impossible to crawl out of. The last few weeks have been tough, I'm not gonna lie... but they've been good. I know... that seems incredibly contradictory, so let me explain.

Michael taught me so much... so very much. So much that when I thought about doing this without him, it seemed too daunting to think about for too long! For 3 weeks I've hardly even wanted to go to the gym. This started to get better last week, and this week the desire has only increased. It was still weird though... to go and see Michael sometimes, but not be there to workout with him. Once I didn't have headphones, so I had to listen to him torture... I mean train... someone else (oh the horror!) haha... Jealousy is an ugly beast. I think what I missed the most was just the motivation I got from him. I can do the workouts now, no problem, but I just missed talking to him!

Well... yesterday I took my roommate, Ashley, to the gym. I introduced her to a few different movements and then put her through a workout. Go Ashley! I must not have killed her though, because when we were done, she joined the gym!! WOOHOO!! After she left, and I did my workout, I finally got the chance to chat with Michael and talk about how the last few weeks have been going. Finally the air was cleared and I literally left feeling so relieved. I feel like I'd still been hoping that someday I could afford Michael again... someday I'd have the money... someday I'd this or that. But now I am ok saying that the stage of this journey, where I needed to be taught so very much to even get started, is over. It's time for me to now continue to run this race alongside others and begin to teach others what I have been taught!

I feel like for the last 3 weeks, God has been trying to turn this page pf my life, and I've been pulling it back down with all my might. (I know that's not theologically correct... He can do whatever He wants with or without my approval, but bear with me here!) He's been trying to tell me, "it's over, it done, time to move on to new adventures," but I've been too stubborn, thinking that nothing could possibly be better that what I had. What utter foolishness on my part!

I'm finally excited again... excited to see what the future holds... excited to see what God writes on this page!!

pass it on...

If there's one thing my pre-k class has learned about this year, it's how to be healthy. I love hearing 4 and 5 year olds talk about healthy and unhealthy ("sometimes") foods or about why it is important to exercise or drink water. My classroom now has a 15 minute exercise time and multiple water breaks written into the schedule. I dare say that teaching little ones about fitness is becoming quite the passion of mine as I learn it for myself! Here's a peak at a spontaneous work out that happened outside today! The little guy in the yellow shirt called himself the "class trainer" today. It warmed my heart. :)

gym + friends = motivation!

Last night my friend Lori met me at the gym for a workout. I had a plan in mind, but nothing set in stone. I've been feeling very blah about the gym since a couple of weeks ago, when Michael told me that the new gym owner wouldn't let him give me the deal he'd been giving me. Seriously, I haven't even wanted to go to the gym! I'm really missing working out with Michael, but I have to learn that he is not the be all and end all of this journey. He was (is) a tool that God chose to use (& maybe will use again?) to help me get this journey off to a ridiculously good start, and I'm thankful for every workout I got to have with him! but I digress... back to last night...

Right as Lori and I finished our warm up, my friend, Scott, walked in. Scott and I go back to our Tarheel days, and have recently been reacquainted at good-ole Anytime Fitness. He's been very encouraging, and has mentioned a few times that if I needed any pointers, he'd be happy to help. So... last night he put Lori and I through a tough workout! I think when he said we'd be doing lunges, Lori squealed with delight. As a runner, Lori is used to lunges, and has been trying to get me to do them. Michael has never had me do them (he had a reason, but I forget what it was.) Oh. My. Goodness. This is probably TMI, but my bum hurts!! Never, in the last almost 8 months has that happened. Thanks, Lori and Scott. Thanks a lot!

We took a while to finish the workout since he showed us everything first, but I think it's safe to say that we enjoyed ourselves even though we were getting a beat down. Working out alongside friends makes it so much more fun! I look forward to working out with others in the near future... trail running with Ashley H. on Monday, spinning (for the first time ever) with Shyana at some point, working out with Christi and Becca at their gym, cross-fit classes with Ashley & Shane, more workouts with Lori, and come summer time, I want to head home to Sanford to go to at least one of Janel's ZUMBA classes! (yeah, I'm super excited about that) SO much fun to look forward to!!

On a final note, after I wrote my short little post on Monday, I saw one of the comments (on facebook) from a friend that I met in the Financial Peace University class back in September. I started that class at the same time as I started this journey. Seeing his name made me think back to that time. I thought, "if I want my finances in order, I don't hope and pray for a desire to get out of debt. That'll never work. No. I write a budget. I stick to it. I pay off the debt. I take action. Passion or no passion, action must be taken." SAME HERE! Yes, having a passion to exercise/eat right sure helps, but passion or no passion, action must be taken. And I'm taking it... one step at a time.

ps... scale reads 216... that's 43# down!

short & honest

Friends, I am struggling. Let me repeat that for emphasis... I. am. struggling. I have been stuck around the same weight for almost 2 months now and it's driving me insane. At first I felt like I was doing everything right and still not losing, which then gave way to me making more poor choices out of frustration. I need my passion back. Passion!? Where did you go?!? I figure that maybe if I start blogging again, and actually do it regularly, then maybe I'll have all of you wonderful internet friends to keep me accountable (yeah, all 3 of you! hehe). So, I'll write more tomorrow... but for today, pray for me to get that swift kick in the pants that got me started almost 8 months ago!!

Just for number's sake... today's weight = 218 ... 41# total lost, and 5 more to go by July 1st...