the happier side of Oxford Manor

After yesterday's post, I feel the need to write today and let you all know that today went much better! Brett went and talked to some parents Thursday afternoon and was told that "it won't happen again." Well, nothing happened today! I'm happy to take one day at a time. Today was a fun day at Oxford Manor. We had a surprising turn out of missionaries, and for that I am so VERY grateful! God always provides. :) I should be sleeping right now, so instead of writing a ton, I'll just show you some of the wonderful reasons I go to Oxford Manor every week. ENJOY!

sometimes ministry hurts

Today was day 3 of the 5 day Oxford Manor Kids' Club. Each day has had its struggles... primarily because of some tough, angry, defiant older kids who, for some odd reason, show up every day with no apparent goal other than to be a distraction. Tuesday they faught (for real fighting) twice. Wednesday they located the snack buckets and stole some snack. Today they decided that throwing water would be fun. Then at the end of club, when we were giving out snack to the kids who listened, a couple of them came over and tried to grab snack right out from the bucket that I was holding. I honestly don't know exactly what happened. All I know is as one grabbed the bucket, another grabbed snack that fell on the ground, and somehow at the end of it, I ended up with a pain in my side. I seriously can't tell you if a kid hit me or if I twisted wrong trying to get the snack away from them, but somehow the story ends with a pain in my side (literally).

I tried so hard not to seem influenced or shaken, but I honestly was. My heart hurts more than my side does. I wonder what these kids' lives are like everyday... for them to think that stuff like this is funny, to see nothing wrong with blatantly stealing things, to think that yelling and calling people awful names is ok. I grew up with Christian parents who taught me right from wrong, and who loved me unconditionally. I can't imagine what it must be like for these kids. I hate the sin that is ruining their lives.

Sometimes I have trouble remembering that it is the sin that I despise. I found myself on Tuesday just wishing they would go away so we could have a good kids' club without so much annoying disturbance. Sometimes I have to watch my tongue because my first reaction to rude talk is to throw some back at them. Wednesday morning God smacked me with 1 Peter 3:8-9 - Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. God put His finger right on my own sin and reminded me that I am called to bless, not return evil with evil, or "rude talk with rude talk."

That's not easy... today's events make it even harder. It's hard to be treated like crap every day and go back the next. But Jesus did it, and tells us to be willing to do the same. 1 Peter 3 goes on to say "Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled."

We are there because these kids need Jesus. They need the life changing power that only Christ can offer. Thankfully, about 50 kids are hearing the Gospel everyday. Even though the rough kids try to distract, many kids have their eyes glued to the teacher as he teaches them about Jesus Christ. This is why I am there! I love watching the kids as they hear about Jesus and His love for them. I am thankful that Jesus has power over sin, and that I already know the end of the story!

Please pray with me that the next two days will continue to be fruitful for the Kingdom of God. Pray that Jesus will be glorified and that He will draw these children to Himself. Pray that residents of Oxford Manor will come to know Jesus Christ, whatever it takes.

Hope

The summer after I returned home from South Africa was the summer that the Summit Church launched its first "Week of Hope." I can't express in words how much that helped me to decide to plant myself in Durham. It helped me to begin to see that my life as a "missionary" had not ended simply because I was not on foreign soil - my location had changed, but my calling in life had not, and God showed me that (for now) Durham is my mission field.

I signed up for a couple different projects. When I showed up for one, I realized that it had been more geared for students (youth) and there really wasn't a place for me. I was somewhat disappointed because it was in a public housing development where there were lots of Spanish speaking kids, and I wanted to practice my Spanish! Since there was nothing for me to do there, I went to the Summit offices, where the secretary called Brad (the guy in charge) and asked if there was a project that needed any more help. I was sent to Oxford Manor.

Tomorrow will mark the 4th week-long kids' Bible club in Oxford Manor. It marks 3 years of tough ministry in this neighborhood. I can't help but reflect on how God has moved. I know God consistently challenges me through this ministry - He challenges me to trust Him and His ways. I am constantly reminded that He is in charge, He loves these kids infinitely more than I ever could, and He has great things planned for them. I get to be a small part in His plan. I'm often too busy asking Him to send more volunteers or griping about something that went "wrong" to remember to thank Him for allowing me the privilege to get to know some amazing kids and simply show them and tell them about Jesus, my wonderful Savior. What an honor to be able to be God's mouthpiece in Oxford Manor!

I pray that I will never back down from the truth of the Gospel, and I will fervently pray for salvation to come to the residents of Oxford Manor through Jesus Christ. He is their only hope.

I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.
Romans 1:16

28

So far 28 is not so bad... I've had a fantastic birthday week! On Tuesday, my best friend from home (Shannon) came up to Durham and we had a yummy lunch at the Cheesecake Factory... mmm... Then Tuesday night I went to my Summit life group, which is always fun! We finished up some work on our hope for Durham project and then enjoyed blueberry muffins (which my friend Ashley made just because she knew I liked them!) and played a few rounds of corn hole. If you don't know what corn hole is, I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's this game where you have to throw bags of corn (literally) into the hole of the wooden corn hole target on the other side. It doesn't sound all that fun, but it really is! Since I'm not too good with explanations, I'll include a few pictures.

Last night (my actual birthday) Leanne made lasagna (my favorite!) and peanut butter pie (she knows I'm not a fan of cake). Then after she, Chris, Ainsley and I ate, we played THREE games of Settlers of Catan. I won the first game, and they swear they didn't let me win. Then Chris won the next two... oh well. I'm happy with my win. :)


That past couple of days have been somewhat tough... not that I dread getting older or anything... I don't care how old I get. My biggest fear though is wasting my time. I have a hard time reliving the past (especially my 2 years in south africa) and thinking I was somehow a better Christian "back in the day." God has been good to me though, and reminded me of the many ways He has clearly made my path straight to be here and to be doing the things here He has called me to. I must never doubt that His plan is best for my life, even when I can't see what He is doing! I have a feeling 28 is going to be a GREAT year. God's got it under control, so I have nothing to worry about.

I need you

A few days ago I was catching up on some of the season finales that I'd missed. (Incase you don't know, I gave up my cable, and now watch shows online when I have time.) In two of the shows I watch, there was a prominent message between characters that I noticed. One in a text message and the other verbalized... three simple words...

This message is prevalent in relationships on television. There's always this strong dependency on each other that inevitably falls to pieces further down the road... such a predictable plot line.

A couple weeks ago I also heard a new (for me) worship song - first at a funeral, and then the next night at church. The chorus of the song says:

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

These two ideas do not mesh... which is such an indicator of our society. We know we need something... we need healing... we need Christ. But we are fed the lie that we need so much more (what we think is more anyway). We need love, acceptance, sex, money, respect, happiness. No wonder we're always dissatisfied and in need of something else.

I love that this song says "You're more than enough for me." I have been listening to this song A LOT the fast few days. I must be often reminded that Jesus is more than enough for me. He is all I need. All I ever WILL need! I may want other things, but I love knowing that He provides more than enough... sometimes I may not get what I want, but I will always get what I need. He is my faithful provider. My loving Father. My portion. And I can rest assured knowing I need nothing else.


“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Matthew 6:25-26

Older...

Every once in a while there is a perfect song that hits me just right.... tonight it's Colbie Caillat's song "Older" (a bonus track from her Coco album on iTunes). I think the lyrics pretty much explain themselves...

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go
Life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes
Many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused
Turned around
On and on
On and on
Yeah, yeah'

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go
Life goes on
Over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah'

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

not just "one of the guys"

I grew up with brothers. The few neighborhood kids my age were boys. Though I enjoyed playing with dolls, I also spent many hours building forts with the boy next door. I've never really had a problem befriending and easily talking to (most) guys, and I used to hate the thought of being considered a "girly girl." A strange thing happened after college... I bought this random pair of shoes... white adidas with light pink stripes on the sides. I loved them. That's when the pink madness began. To this day I adore the color pink. (If you know me, you can testify!)

Recently, I found myself wishing I could really "talk theology" with my guys friends. (I realize now how silly that sounds.) But really, I want to know stuff so I can hold my own in a conversation. I seriously get hyped when I actually do know what to say on a certain topic, but more often than not, I leave the conversation thinking, "dang it, I need to go to seminary." I wonder why I think this way. Why do I feel the need to "hold my own" in a deep theological discussion? I am certain there is an element of pride in this equation, as pride always seems to creep in. But I also believe that this feeling is born out of a God given conviction that I do need to know Him more. I've used "not being able to go to seminary" as an excuse! Seminary is not the one and only place to learn about God. He has given me His Holy Word, and that is sufficient! And thank God, guys are not the only ones God calls to know Him!

Earlier this week I stumbled upon the "women's theology" section of Mars Hill Church's media. I began listening to a teaching entitled "What is theology, and why should I care?" And I'll admit, it's gotten me kinda pumped to study Scripture. It was really sweet to hear truths from God's Word from a very intelligent, God fearing woman. She would put things in a certain way that only a woman could, and as a woman, just as I needed to hear it! I am really getting into the teachings on this website. I've even made myself a notebook to keep all the notes I frantically scribble! (No, it's not pink, but it does have pink in it! hehe) One of the women who does some of the teaching actually wrote a book called "Practical Theology for Women" I'm considering getting some other ladies to read this book with me so we can have our own theological discussions. (If you're interested, PLEASE email me asap! I promise we don't have to discuss it while painting our nails... though I'm not opposed. haha)

I know I have rambled... but I'm excited! I am loving this place that God has me in right now. A place where I am so in love with Him and His Word and His people! How I wish I could stay in this place (any advice on how to do that would be much appreciated). I hope that you will check out the links I included... they are quite useful!

"Wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." Proverbs 2:10