See Bonnie Run

surrendering the page

2011-05-20T14:20:00.003-04:00

You all know I've been working through a slump that I've been in... it's been harder for me to eat right... tougher to make myself go to the gym... and my desire just hasn't been there for me like it used to be! I mentioned before that a few weeks ago my sessions with Michael ended, and that was just the final straw that made my slump seem near impossible to crawl out of. The last few weeks have been tough, I'm not gonna lie... but they've been good. I know... that seems incredibly contradictory, so let me explain.

Michael taught me so much... so very much. So much that when I thought about doing this without him, it seemed too daunting to think about for too long! For 3 weeks I've hardly even wanted to go to the gym. This started to get better last week, and this week the desire has only increased. It was still weird though... to go and see Michael sometimes, but not be there to workout with him. Once I didn't have headphones, so I had to listen to him torture... I mean train... someone else (oh the horror!) haha... Jealousy is an ugly beast. I think what I missed the most was just the motivation I got from him. I can do the workouts now, no problem, but I just missed talking to him!

Well... yesterday I took my roommate, Ashley, to the gym. I introduced her to a few different movements and then put her through a workout. Go Ashley! I must not have killed her though, because when we were done, she joined the gym!! WOOHOO!! After she left, and I did my workout, I finally got the chance to chat with Michael and talk about how the last few weeks have been going. Finally the air was cleared and I literally left feeling so relieved. I feel like I'd still been hoping that someday I could afford Michael again... someday I'd have the money... someday I'd this or that. But now I am ok saying that the stage of this journey, where I needed to be taught so very much to even get started, is over. It's time for me to now continue to run this race alongside others and begin to teach others what I have been taught!

I feel like for the last 3 weeks, God has been trying to turn this page pf my life, and I've been pulling it back down with all my might. (I know that's not theologically correct... He can do whatever He wants with or without my approval, but bear with me here!) He's been trying to tell me, "it's over, it done, time to move on to new adventures," but I've been too stubborn, thinking that nothing could possibly be better that what I had. What utter foolishness on my part!

I'm finally excited again... excited to see what the future holds... excited to see what God writes on this page!!

pass it on...

2011-05-17T15:36:00.004-04:00

If there's one thing my pre-k class has learned about this year, it's how to be healthy. I love hearing 4 and 5 year olds talk about healthy and unhealthy ("sometimes") foods or about why it is important to exercise or drink water. My classroom now has a 15 minute exercise time and multiple water breaks written into the schedule. I dare say that teaching little ones about fitness is becoming quite the passion of mine as I learn it for myself! Here's a peak at a spontaneous work out that happened outside today! The little guy in the yellow shirt called himself the "class trainer" today. It warmed my heart. :)

gym + friends = motivation!

2011-05-12T13:41:00.000-04:00

Last night my friend Lori met me at the gym for a workout. I had a plan in mind, but nothing set in stone. I've been feeling very blah about the gym since a couple of weeks ago, when Michael told me that the new gym owner wouldn't let him give me the deal he'd been giving me. Seriously, I haven't even wanted to go to the gym! I'm really missing working out with Michael, but I have to learn that he is not the be all and end all of this journey. He was (is) a tool that God chose to use (& maybe will use again?) to help me get this journey off to a ridiculously good start, and I'm thankful for every workout I got to have with him! but I digress... back to last night...

Right as Lori and I finished our warm up, my friend, Scott, walked in. Scott and I go back to our Tarheel days, and have recently been reacquainted at good-ole Anytime Fitness. He's been very encouraging, and has mentioned a few times that if I needed any pointers, he'd be happy to help. So... last night he put Lori and I through a tough workout! I think when he said we'd be doing lunges, Lori squealed with delight. As a runner, Lori is used to lunges, and has been trying to get me to do them. Michael has never had me do them (he had a reason, but I forget what it was.) Oh. My. Goodness. This is probably TMI, but my bum hurts!! Never, in the last almost 8 months has that happened. Thanks, Lori and Scott. Thanks a lot!

We took a while to finish the workout since he showed us everything first, but I think it's safe to say that we enjoyed ourselves even though we were getting a beat down. Working out alongside friends makes it so much more fun! I look forward to working out with others in the near future... trail running with Ashley H. on Monday, spinning (for the first time ever) with Shyana at some point, working out with Christi and Becca at their gym, cross-fit classes with Ashley & Shane, more workouts with Lori, and come summer time, I want to head home to Sanford to go to at least one of Janel's ZUMBA classes! (yeah, I'm super excited about that) SO much fun to look forward to!!

On a final note, after I wrote my short little post on Monday, I saw one of the comments (on facebook) from a friend that I met in the Financial Peace University class back in September. I started that class at the same time as I started this journey. Seeing his name made me think back to that time. I thought, "if I want my finances in order, I don't hope and pray for a desire to get out of debt. That'll never work. No. I write a budget. I stick to it. I pay off the debt. I take action. Passion or no passion, action must be taken." SAME HERE! Yes, having a passion to exercise/eat right sure helps, but passion or no passion, action must be taken. And I'm taking it... one step at a time.

ps... scale reads 216... that's 43# down!

short & honest

2011-05-09T14:18:00.002-04:00

Friends, I am struggling. Let me repeat that for emphasis... I. am. struggling. I have been stuck around the same weight for almost 2 months now and it's driving me insane. At first I felt like I was doing everything right and still not losing, which then gave way to me making more poor choices out of frustration. I need my passion back. Passion!? Where did you go?!? I figure that maybe if I start blogging again, and actually do it regularly, then maybe I'll have all of you wonderful internet friends to keep me accountable (yeah, all 3 of you! hehe). So, I'll write more tomorrow... but for today, pray for me to get that swift kick in the pants that got me started almost 8 months ago!!

Just for number's sake... today's weight = 218 ... 41# total lost, and 5 more to go by July 1st...

the ugly "I can't!"

2011-03-22T13:51:00.002-04:00

Typically I write here about victorious moments in this journey. Today (just to remind you I'm a real person!) I'll share my not-so-wonderful gym experience...

Some ridiculously awesome person anonymously paid for me to have 2 training sessions with Michael. I have no idea who this person is, but if you're reading this... THANK YOU! Anyway, yesterday was the 2nd session. I have no idea why, but during 3 different exercises I found myself irritated with Michael that he was asking me to do something I "couldn't" do. Seriously, at one point I kinda wanted to just walk away because I was so frustrated with not being able to do the movement as well as I thought he wanted me to do it. I'd tell you what it was if I knew the name of it... but it involved holding myself up on the knee-up thingy and then stepping over a bar that Michael was holding in the air. (I know, hard to imagine, but I'm struggling to explain it properly! Sorry!)

The last thing Michael had me do was a set of 30 seconds on / 30 seconds off on the treadmill... with the treadmill at an incline of 10. Yikes! And he wanted me to jog... what!? I'm pretty sure I even said that out loud as he punched in the speed... I thought to myself, "what is he doing? who does he think I am? I can't keep up this pace on an incline of 10!" But you know what? I did do it. I even increased the speed... and on the last round, when he increased the incline to 11, I did that too.

What is it in me that keeps thinking "I can't"? During one of the 30 seconds off I said to Michael, "you know, I guess I didn't lose 30+ pounds doing easy stuff." And that's totally true... at no point in the last 6 months has this been easy, so why do I think that all of a sudden I'm just going to coast by and keep losing weight? I'm not sure where these ugly thoughts come from, but I'm glad I have recognized them and can fight them!

And Michael, if you're reading this, consider this my public apology for my crappy attitude yesterday! I apparently have a long way to go... Looking back on yesterday though, there is a small part of me that wishes I had walked off, just to see what you would've done. Would there have been an epic "biggest-loser-esque" shouting match at Anytime Fitness? hehe... One can only wonder.

And the winner is....

2011-03-14T12:56:00.012-04:00

I have never been an athlete... I've never really tried to be. But when I signed up for the "Resolutionary War" men vs. women challenge at the gym back in January, I decided to actually give this thing a shot. The winner would be determined by # of workouts at the gym, pounds lost, and miles logged. When I started to see others' miles in the notebook, something lit inside me and all of a sudden I wanted to WIN! Seriously. I started thinking about how I could get to the gym as often as possible. A friend even had to fuss at me once so that I would take a day off and let my body rest. By golly, for once I wanted to win an athletic competition and I was going to do everything within my power to do it! And well... I did it!

I'm not even really sure yet what the prize is for winning... I know I should care, but honestly, though I look forward to a prize, I'm more excited about having my name on that board for all to see. Does that make me a prideful person? I hope not in a bad way... I am proud of myself and all the hard work I've been doing!

I am so incredibly thankful for all the friends I have who have been encouraging me along this journey (& will continue to I hope!). Winning this one competition is only one battle won in a war! There will be more battles to come, for sure... but I'm going to enjoy this victory for a little while. :)

Hanging out with myself on a Friday night!

2011-03-04T23:32:00.006-05:00

When we had to turn in our availability to work at DPAC in the month of March, I took off this whole weekend. I had no real reason to, except that I just wanted a weekend without working! I had no clue what I would do on this Friday night, but I knew I was totally ok with the fact that as of Friday afternoon, I had no plans for Friday night! And it turned out to be a GREAT night of Bonnie time!!

1) I finally went to the Summit offices to turn in past receipts from kids' club... that'll be a nice check to get in a couple weeks!

2) Went to Best Buy to buy an arm band so I can workout around the gym without having to hold my iPhone anymore. I was worried that the band wouldn't fit around my arm... but it did! :) AND it was on sale. Score.

3) I was on my way to Barnes and Noble (see #4) when I realized that Lane Bryant was having a 40% off everything in the store sale. I am in serious need of some jeans that fit, so I stopped in. When the lady asked me what size I needed, I had no clue... before September, I was wearing a 24... and the ones that fit best were 18s!!! Woohoo! I ended up not getting any just because I didn't like them, but I was still grinning from ear to ear!

4) Went to Barnes and Noble in search of the perfect planner or journal to write my workouts in. I've been searching for a week and haven't been happy. Well... I found it! And I'm in love. It is an 18 month planner that just so happened to go from March 2011 (so I don't have to waste any pages) to August 2012! It has the perfect amount of space in it to write my workouts and times, and even has a place for notes in the back where I will be able to write out other people's workouts. As I was checking out, I spotted some Godiva chocolate... hmm... "I've been good today, and am heading to the gym in a bit, so YES, I will have some Godiva dark chocolate. Thank you, very much."

5) Then... I went to Dick's Sporting Goods to see if I could buy any of their workout clothes yet. Back around November, I went and nothing fit! It has been a goal of mine to be able to buy/wear something from under armour. I don't really know why... just a silly little goal. Well... back in November I walked out of there so broken hearted that nothing fit... tonight I left with a pair of workout capris and 2 shirts... one being my very first under armour shirt! (Oh, and the pants and under armour shirt were both on sale. Score again.) I love it. :) Maybe it helped me accomplish #6...

6) I headed to the gym for what I knew would be a tough workout. I've been getting my workouts from Michael's website, and I was not looking forward to this one! It's called "One Hour in Hell" *yikes* It's 10 minutes each, as many as possible of push-ups, ring-rows (modified pull-ups), sit-ups, and squats, with 5 minutes of rest between each one. To warm up, I decided to walk a little... then I decided I should try to run a little... and I ended up jogging for HALF A MILE!! WHAT?! Yep, .5 miles... I couldn't believe it. It honestly wasn't that long ago that I was shouting to the rooftops about .3 miles. I finished up the mile and began the real workout... ended up doing 118 push-ups, 88 ring rows, 170 sit-ups, and 254 squats. Then I did the bike for a few easy miles to cool down as I watched the rest of House on Hulu (I love my phone).

And now I'm home! Relaxed and ready to go to bed... It has been such a fantastic, joyous Friday night all by myself! I'm even excited about getting to sleep in in the morning. Ahh.... the simple things in life. Goodnight!!

somebody pinch me

2011-02-28T12:02:00.004-05:00

I think I might be dreaming! Just last week I tweeted that plateaus suck... because well, they do! I had gone 2 and a half weeks with only a pound lost, and even that one fluctuated from day to day. Then, the very next day I stepped on the scales and 3 pounds disappeared. Then today, 2 more have vanished! That brings the 30x30 total to... are you ready for this????

16 POUNDS! (That makes a grand total of 32 since September 2010) WHAT!?! Are you kidding me? I stepped on and off the scale multiple times today just to make sure. In January, I was excited about losing 7 and I said that I didn't expect big numbers like that every month. I lost 9 pounds in February. I'm still a little bit in shock. :)

I'm also, as of last Thursday, without a trainer... officially at least. Michael is still at the gym, and I have no doubt that he will still be as encouraging as ever, but for at least 3 weeks, I'm going to do this on my own. I'm taking applications for workout buddies though... ladies? Help! :) Seriously, I'd love to have someone to workout with!

Last night I went to the gym after DPAC for a workout. I intentionally went late so that there wouldn't be as many people there and I could set up my little crossfit set up and go to work. My workout was: 5 rounds (as fast as possible) of... 10 (25lb) kettle bell deadlifts, 10 burpees, 10 (25lb) kettle bell swings, 10 ring rows (it's like an adjusted pull up), 10 air squats, 20 v-ups, and 20 tricep pull downs. OUCH! I was sweating like a crazy person, but I finished in less than 22 minutes! Woohoo! I had to prove to myself that I could workout without Michael. It's always hard when the training wheels come off, but oh so worth it!!

5 months and Valentine's Day!

2011-02-15T13:01:00.005-05:00

Alrighty... let's get right down to business first...

Today = 5 months of the new and improved lifestyle = 27 lbs! This last month has been a pretty big one weight wise... 7 pounds since January 15th. As for the 30x30 goal... I am down 11 lbs since January 1, so I have 19 more to go by July 1! I'm starting to confuse myself will all these numbers! :)

This has been an up and down month for me. The scale has been awesome... sometimes despite my not as awesome eating habits creeping in from time to time. There have been a few times that I've eaten above my calorie count for no good reason at all, which definitely annoys me. And there have been times I chose ahead of time to go above my calorie count... like at a friend's birthday dinner and a super bowl party. I'm learning though, to plan ahead for events that will probably (or definitely!) entail yummy, not-so-good-for-me food by getting in a little extra exercise and drinking tons of water before and after. I also know that I am NOT on a diet... and there are going to be days when I eat more. Life happens. And life often involves food. I'm willing to take this slow if need be. :) All that said though, pounds are still coming off and I'm SUPER excited about that. All the muscle building work Michael had me doing at the beginning is totally paying off now.

I'm so INCREDIBLY excited to share with you all how my class celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday. My class has been learning about exercise and healthy food all year. It's just something that has really stuck with them, and it's important to me, so we are always discussing it. Last week, as a class, we created the menu for our "Healthy Heart" party, and they all brought in the food yesterday. The menu? Juice, apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, carrots, broccoli, cheez-its, popcorn, and graham crackers. When they all came in with their contributions, they were SO excited! They talked all day long about the party and had a blast celebrating our friendships AND our healthy hearts. :) Not one time did they ask where the cake, cookies, or candy was. They didn't miss it at all! Lord, teach me to eat like a little child!!

i used to be scared...

2011-02-05T23:11:00.004-05:00

I used to be scared to run... but today my workout set included 4 .25 runs (or jogs... my "running" is still pretty slow). By the 4th one I so wanted to slow down, but I'm finally getting mentally strong enough to talk myself though it and just finish! Dang, that felt good.

I used to be scared of the "guy side" of the gym, otherwise known as the free weights... but today my workout set included 2 different movements that had to be done on the "guy side"... I think my favorite moment was when I went to get the 30 lb bar to do curls, and this guy grabbed it first. I figured I didn't want to wait around for him to finish, so I grabbed the 40lb bar... and did curls right beside him. hehe I'da hated to be that guy.

I used to be scared to talk to new visitors at Summit en Espanol for fear that they'd discover my limited ability to actually speak Espanol! But tonight I forced myself to talk to people I didn't know. I'll admit, I was nervous and I'm still going to be a little scared next time, but getting to know new people is great, and something I need to do much more often!

Fear is no good... I'm learning to face my fears head on and I am loving it! Life is too short to live in fear and "what if"s. Besides, God didn't give us a spirit of fear, and if fear is not from Him, then I don't want it! What an exciting journey this is... every day I grow more excited about where the Lord is taking me and how He is getting me there day after day! Life with Him is far from dull - that's for sure!

30x30 check in - Month 1

2011-01-31T12:28:00.003-05:00

Friends! I apologize for going m.i.a. for a while there. I feel like I’ve been writing a blog in my head and then never sitting down to type it out – I’m sorry!

First and foremost, I’m officially one month into my 30x30 challenge, and I’m so very excited to report that I weighed in today at 236… for a grand total of 7 pounds lost in January! I’m excited to kick off the year with a good loss… knowing full well that every month won’t hold such high numbers (I’m hopeful that they will, but also realistic!). 23 more to go by July 1st!

I also wanted to report in on some exciting non-scale-related victories.

1)People are starting to notice! I’ve had a couple teachers ask if I’m losing weight and then ask what I’m doing. It’s so fun to be asked for advice on losing weight and working out. I never thought I’d be asked for such advice!

2)A couple weeks ago I saw a cool pair of pants on the clearance rack at Kohl’s. They were a size smaller than the pants I’ve been wearing, but decided that since they were so cheap, I’d try them. And… THEY FIT! Hooray!

3) I’m starting to create my own workouts. My time (for now) with Michael is drawing close to an end. I’ll be with him until the end of February, and then I’ll be on my own until I can afford him again. So, in preparation, he has been having me create my Thursday workouts. 2 weeks ago he helped talk me through how to make it, and then last week he told me to come with a workout prepared and we’d go from there! I felt like a little kid turning in a research paper on Thursday, but he said it was a great workout. Turns out it was a hard workout… and one that lead to the next victory!

4)I jogged .3 miles on the treadmill last week! I say I want to be a runner, but honestly, nothing scares me more than being pushed to run. I like to jog for a short bit, then slow back down, then repeat. But in the workout that I planned last week, I had 4 sections that included the treadmill. Basically there were 4 rounds – the first one was .4 miles, then some other movements, then .3 (and the other movements), then .2 and .1. After the first round, before getting back on the treadmill for the .3, Michael said, “here’s what you’re going to do. You’re gonna get on the treadmill, close your eyes, and take 2 deep breaths. Then we’re gonna set the treadmill at a jogging pace. And you’re not going to slow it down until you’re done.” WHAT!? I thought he was crazy. I’ve been trying to work up to jogging .25 miles, and here he was telling me I was going to jog .3. Yeah, right, Michael. Well, what do ya know… I did it. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest, but I did it! I could hardly believe it. Michael said he wouldn’t have asked me to do it if he didn’t believe I could do it. Kinda makes me wonder when I’ll start to fully believe in myself as much as he does. Something to ponder…

Well, there are more I’d like to share, but I know if I make this post too long, I’ll lose you. So, I will hold my other thoughts until a later date. Thanks for checking in – I’ll leave you all with a great quote I recently read…

“Act. It’s of God. (Philippians 2:13) If you do rather than lamenting what you can’t do, you will do more than you thought you could.” - John Piper

Make War!

2011-01-18T13:37:00.015-05:00

Anyone who knows me at all knows that music plays a huge part in my life. The right song can stir up things in me that I didn't even know existed. There are quite a few songs that have already been special to me in just the last 4 months of this journey. Back at the beginning, my friend Cole suggested I listen to this song. I don't think I can thank him enough for his perfect suggestion. My favorite part of the song is the first 30 seconds. Pastor John Piper starts out the song with this...

"I hear so many Christians, murmuring about their imperfections, and their failures, and their addiction, and their shortcomings. And I see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur. Why am I this way? Make war!"

Dang. I feel like I should just leave it at that. I don't want to be a lazy Christian sitting around, looking at my little pet sin and doing nothing about it. Yes, Jesus has defeated both sin AND death, but while I'm here on this earth, I need to be fighting day in and day out. Check it: in the Bible, Paul says, "I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me." (Romans 7:23) If sin's going to be warring on me, you better believe I need to war right back. I'm ever so thankful that Jesus is on my side in the ring with me.

I've said enough... I'll let Tedashii say it the way he does best!

intervals, birthday cake, and 4 month update

2011-01-15T10:44:00.006-05:00

There's a lot swimming around in this head of mine right now, but for now I have three things I am excited to share with you all!

1) Intervals... I have been reading about training / working out using intervals, and Michael has definitely used intervals in my workouts before, but typically when I work out on my own, I go for the old stand by of working out (on the treadmill or elliptical) at a decent pace for a long period of time. Yesterday, I decided to try intervals on my own. According to my reading, there are all kinds of advantages to intense interval training as opposed to longer, less intense training, but yesterday the one that I most was thinking of was that you're in and out faster, and I only had a brief time frame to work out in! Here's the gist of it... after a brief warm up, I set the elliptical on a level of 3 (to begin) and booked it as hard & fast as I could for one minute. One minute... anyone can do that, right? I got up to 13 mph for a little bit! The point is to be pretty much exhausted after one minute (& trust me, I was!). Then you bring the pace down and keep moving, but not super fast for 2 minutes. Then... you go again, for 8-10 rounds (at least that's what this article said). I had 30 minutes, so I did 10 rounds. I switched up the intensity sometimes during the sprint, to make things a little harder/different. Oh my gosh. I was dead after those 30 minutes! Much more dead than after an hour of less intensity. I'll definitely be doing this more often. I'm always looking for ways to change up my workout. Any suggestions??

2) Birthday cake... Last night was a friend's birthday party. They went to a restaurant for dinner that has very little healthy choices, so though I love my friends, I decided not to go. Besides, I was still recovering from the intervals! I also knew they were going to hang out after dinner, so I decided to catch up with them post dinner. But... I knew there was going to be cake there. And Costco cake at that. I'm not really a cake fan, but for some reason, I love Costco cake. I knew today was weigh in day, and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, so... I took some time to make myself look as nice as I could... nice enough at least that I felt awesome. hehe ;) The way I figured, if I feel like I look great, I'm not going to want to eat the cake that helps me look not so great. And? It worked! I was surprised with not just cake, but ice cream! My biggest temptation. But... I looked good... and I didn't even care about the cake OR the ice cream. Love it!

3) 4 month update... It was September 15th that I weighed in and decided to never ever see that number again. Today is January 15th... I lost 4 pounds this month, bringing the total to 20 pounds! (As for the 30x30 challenge, I'll update on that at the end of the month.) I picked up Cadey's 20 pound bag of dog food today and thought, "dang... that's how much of me is gone!" GONE!

thoughts on the Biggest Loser

2011-01-13T15:43:00.001-05:00

“I came here thinking that my journey was gonna be a weight loss journey, but it’s really turned out to be much more, and I’m not even sure how to define the kind of journey it’s become yet.” -Biggest Loser contestant who’s name I can’t remember (oops)

One of the guys on this season’s Biggest Loser said this, and though I have absolutely no idea what it must be like to seriously get your butt kicked multiple times a day and have someone monitoring your food intake at all times, I can relate to what he’s saying.

Anyone who watches BL knows that Bob and Jillian don’t shy away from getting into the crap in people’s lives. Sometimes it’s a bit extreme (hey, it’s a show) but as I truck along on this journey, I’m realizing that it really is necessary to deal with more than just a number on a scale. Most of the time, I go to the gym and go through my workout. But I’m thankful that Michael doesn’t just stop with the workout and tell me to have a good day. He asks me about my life and checks in. He knows when I’m not focused and he finds out why. He encourages me to keep fighting, often when I’m not so sure I want to.

The first time I ran (farther/faster than I thought I could) I just about cried… I realized that I’m used to giving up when I’m tired, but Michael wouldn’t let me! Gosh… that did a number on my emotions. I don’t want to be a quitter, so why am I? Another day I took a tumble while doing a box jump. (That was embarrassing.) No more “just about” crying. I lost it. There was Michael, again, being his awesome self… pushing just enough to get me to talk, but not so much (thank God he’s not Jillian) that I wanted to punch him. I was so mad at myself for not being able to do the stupid jump, but Michael used the opportunity to remind me that I don’t want to be the person who can’t do whatever it is I want to do. Phew! What a moment. And yes, I did stop crying and got back up and finished the workout! (But he lowered the box. hehe)

Anyway… I’m rambling today, so I apologize. I just caught up last night on this new season of BL, and thought I’d share a little of my thoughts on it. I know, I know… 10+ pounds in a week is not normal, but I watch the show knowing that, so I don’t get sad when I step on the scale and only see -1. I do love seeing what other people are capable of. If a 500+ lb person can jog for 30 seconds at 5 mph, then I can jog farther and/or faster… no excuses. I get pretty excited when I see them do a movement/exercise that I’ve done in the gym. And I’ve definitely learned that the emotional rollercoaster they show on TV is not just for TV. I’m pretty sure I’ve only skimmed the surface of the emotions that come into play in this journey. Yikes!

So what about you? Anyone out there watch it? Why or why not? Thoughts?

And on that note… I have an appointment with destiny! (aka… Michael/the gym)

The gist...

2011-01-07T14:20:00.001-05:00

How is it that I came to this point… this point of being sick and tired of the way I was treating my body? Well… I’m terrible at making stories (even short ones) short, but I’ll try my best!

I have been considerably overweight my entire life… I’d say from about 1st grade on. I’ve done every diet (good and bad) out there and have some “success” stories from them. I’ve always wanted to lose weight… but I just haven’t had the drive.

Somewhere around three years ago, JD (my pastor at the Summit) preached a sermon series on the 7 deadly sins. As we’re all aware, gluttony and sloth are 2 of them… that hit me… hard. I want to honor Jesus, and I was smacked in the face with the blunt reality (gotta love JD), that I wasn’t. I would love to say that I changed immediately after hearing these truths, but I didn’t. It wasn’t really until at least 2 years later that I started really caring. JD (there he is again) preached about having idols in your life, and even mentioned food being one of them. That was it. I was done pretending I was fine. Again, I wish I could say that I was changed immediately, but at least this time I started caring. I started asking my small group to pray for me. I started reading an excellent book called “Love to Eat, Hate to Eat,” by Elyse Fitzpatrick. I started reading my friend Kim’s blogs, which focused around her journey to becoming healthier and more Christ centered. At times I felt like I was moving in the right direction, but eventually I’d wander… this was such a frustrating time for me… I wanted to want this… but honestly? I just didn’t care as much as I knew I needed to.

At the beginning of 2010, I joined an amazing women’s small group. After getting to know my struggles, they went to work praying for me. They’d occasionally ask how I was doing, but more than anything, they prayed. And one day… I snapped.

Yep. Snapped. I got word of yet another lady that I know having gastric bypass surgery. She ended her email saying, “tomorrow begins a brand new day!” Something about that infuriated me. Not at this woman, but at the fact that this surgery is becoming way too popular as the quick fix to obesity. I decided at that moment, that I will not ever have this surgery. It’s not happening. Period. Around this same time, I also started thinking more about the fact that if God calls me to go back overseas, I didn’t feel physically ready at all, and that wasn’t ok with me. Also, around the same time (coincidence? I think not.) a friend mentioned I should check out his gym. So I did. And I joined. Within a week. Within about another week, I’d hired Michael, the personal trainer (yeah, never saw that one coming)… I’ll spotlight him in a future blog. A few lines here will never do him justice. That was around the middle of September, 2010. The past few months have been simply amazing. I’ve had ups and downs, but the ups have FAR outweighed the downs. I’ve lost about 16 pounds, and have gained strength, health/fitness knowledge, and determination.

I’m fully aware that this journey has only just begun. There will be challenging moments, but I am finally in a place where I am surrounded by people who love and encourage me on an almost daily basis. God has richly blessed me. I love knowing I’m living in a way that glorifies Him.

30x30

2011-01-04T01:30:00.003-05:00

Every January 1st, the vast majority of people make New Year's Resolutions. These resolutions sometimes get a bad rap, probably because most of us don't really intend to keep said resolutions... and I must admit, I'm typically one of those people.

This year will be different. This year, as of January 1st, I have 6 months until my 30th birthday (July 1st). This year I am pushing myself to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday (hence, "30x30"). In a future blog, I plan to recap the general story of the fire that was lit under my tail about 3 1/2 months ago, which lead to me joining a new gym and hiring a personal trainer. For now, I'm simply putting this out there... on the oh-so public internet so that you, my friends, are all aware of this decision. No turning back now!

The ugly facts... today I weighed in at 243 (hey, better than the 259 back in Sept...) July 1st I'll need to be 213 (or less!).

I'm more than excited about this challenge in my life. In the last few months, the Lord has already taught me so very much about discipline and taking care of the only body He gave me. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months hold!

my cabin get-away

2010-07-03T21:21:00.007-04:00

This past week I have been with the CEF (child evangelism fellowship) "boot camp." Basically, about 20 teenagers from mostly around North Carolina, came into Durham for the week to learn about effectively ministering in urban settings (focusing on children). Part of the time was spent learning in a classroom setting, and the other part of the days were spent putting this knowledge to work in some communities in Durham. It was a crazy, busy, amazing, reflective, humbling, challenging, encouraging, refreshing, and exhausting week.

The students all left this morning. Soon after they left I rushed off to a doctor's appointment, then to the Oxford Manor Kids' Club (like every Saturday), and after that, rushed home to get ready for worship practice and then the service at Summit en Espanol. Though I tried my best to pay attention, my brain was not functioning well in Spanish tonight. I kept thinking, "I need to get away... I need to process this week... I need to be quiet... I want to be in a cabin all alone in the woods!"

You all know I don't live anywhere near a cabin in the woods. I also don't have the means or the time to find a cabin somewhere and even rent it for a couple days. But I couldn't shake that sweet thought of hunkerin' down under a quilt in absolute quiet... with a cup of coffee, my journal, and a good pen.

So... I left church quickly tonight. I love everyone there, but I was stressing, and I knew I needed to put my plan into action. On the way home, I stopped at King's Red & White, a locally owned, family type corner grocery store right by my house. I bought some locally roasted coffee beans, some creamer from Maple View Farms (which is a in a neighboring city), and some ice cream from the same place. I also bought some apple butter... 'cuz nothin says country cabin like some apple butter! (plus the bootcampers ate mine.)

I hurried home to tidy up my living room. After a week of running in and out, only coming home to walk Cadey and sleep, things had gotten out of place, and I can NOT rest when things are messy! I turned down the a/c to make it chilly in here, lit an apple cinnamon candle, and brewed some of that home roasted coffee. While cleaning, I listened to my "Alathea" CD (a new band that performed and ministered with us at boot camp... they're a folk band... very soothing to the soul & "cabin-esque" ;)) Once the room was clean, I prepared my coffee, got out my quilt, dimmed the lights a little, and lit a wood-wick candle (at least I can pretend there's a fire going!).

Now, here I sit... in my own little "cabin" in the middle of urban Durham. ;) My cell-phone is on silent, and as soon as I hit the publish button I'll be turning off this computer. My coffee, journal, and nice pen await me.

my new favorite song

2010-01-28T13:04:00.003-05:00

For the past few months, I can safely say that I've been listening to music in Spanish at least 90% of the time... at church, in the car, at home, everywhere! It's really helping me learn new words, phrases, and just get used to hearing Spanish. But for some reason, on Tuesday morning, when I got in the car at o'dark thirty to go to the gym, I didn't plug in my iPod and my favorite Spanish CD was in the house, so I turned on good ole k-love (the Christian radio station). This song came on the radio that I really liked the words to. When I got home that morning, I looked up the song and listened to it again... and again... and again. I looked up the lyrics, wrote them in my journal, and turned them into my prayer. Here they are...

Savior, Please (by Josh Wilson)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can,
but I don't know how long I'll last

Chorus:
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone,
God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am
because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me
Hallelujah!

It's better if you listen to it, so go ahead... I'll be here when you get back... Savior, Please

I remember hearing just a small part of this song once before & not liking the line "keep saving me." I thought it was coming from the camp of saying you have to "keep" being saved, which is not at all what I believe. But when I listened to it (numerous times) I realized that, yes, I AM saved... once, forever, always, tightly in God's grip. My name's already written in His book and on the palm of His hand. (Psalm 139:16 & Isaiah 49:16) That's pretty forever if you ask me. But, there is still a raging war of sin vs. holiness that is going on within me on a daily basis. And I DO need to constantly be saved from, none other than, myself & the sin that so often rears its ugly head.

I feel like this song was written by someone just like me. Someone who feels like he has a good, Godly image to uphold, and who feels sometimes like it's up to him to keep up that image. Or someone who's always on the go, trying to do the right thing, say the right words, or even pray the 'right' prayer. But, by golly, it's hard keeping up an image and trying to be perfect all the time. And I sure can't do it, just like this song says. I can't do this life alone... I'll never be able to do it alone, which is why I so desperately need God to hold on to me... so that when I get all prideful, thinking I'm doing everything right (and all the while getting further from the life of holiness He intends for me), He is still holding me, drawing me back to Him. Wow. I am so incredibly thankful that He has me. I'm His. He loves me - ME! Hard to believe sometimes.

Sometimes Christian music gets a bad rap. Sometimes it's downright cheesy or poorly executed. But I'm loving this song. I listen to it in the morning, to remind me of the truth that I can't do this alone. I need Him. I listen to it throughout the day because well, I'm stubborn, and I quickly forget the very things I need to remember. (The song say, "I fade so fast" - yep, that's me!)

I hope you'll give this song a listen, and let it do a work in your heart as it has mine!

Still laughing...

2009-12-14T01:08:00.004-05:00

In my last post, I wrote that God makes me laugh, and well... I'm still laughing at what He's doing in my life. So VERY much has happened since I last updated this blog. I don't know where to begin... but since it's late, and all 2 of you who read this don't want to read a novel, I'll just give you the basics...

-My roommate got married... it was an awesome wedding, and I was so fortunate to be able to be a bridesmaid AND get to sing in the wedding. It's been quite a change for me to not have Leanne here at home. I miss her so so so much! But it's cool to see her living her life with Chris. They're a pretty stellar couple, and I'm so glad they're in my life!

- Yulyney officially moved in! God provided a great roommate to share the joys of the Ruskin House! We've had 2 big rains that caused flooding downstairs, and she's been a trooper the whole time!

- I'm singing again! Or should I say, "Estoy cantando otra vez!" In August, I wrote, "Tonight, as I sang the songs in both languages... as I worshiped my Savior in Spanish, my desire to learn this beautiful language was, without a doubt, rekindled. I pray that God will help me learn and then provide me with new opportunities to serve Him!" Well... no surprise here... He has provided!! It has been a crazy few months, as I've slowly but surely made my way into the Summit en Espanol community. In the beginning, on Saturday nights, I would serve at the English PM campus of the Summit, then go down just for the sermon in Spanish, and then I'd leave early to go be at the door to say goodbye to people at the English campus. Slowly, I started to hang around after the Spanish service and attempt to talk to people. With the help of Yulyney and a few other friends who felt sorry for me (hehe) I started to hang out after church with new friends from SeE. I eventually went to a Bible study in Spanish... and it has all just progressed from there. My Spanish is improving (very slowly, but improving nonetheless). This past Saturday night was my 2nd week singing on the worship team for SeE. I can't believe they let me sing! I can't believe that I call Summit en Espanol my Summit campus home! I can't believe that, lately, at most of the social events I attend, I only understand about half of what's being said! :)

There's more I could write... and probably more I SHOULD write, but at the moment, I'm exhausted. I worked 2 shows at the DPAC (Durham Performing Arts Center) and then went to some SeE friends' house for a birthday dinner and stayed too late playing cards. Fun times... I might regret it when I try to wake up in the morning, but these memories are worth being tired. God is good... I'm so glad He lets me live a life that makes me laugh so very much! :)

Dios me hace reír!

2009-10-11T02:58:00.003-04:00

Indeed, God does have a way of making me laugh. Maybe that's the wrong response. Maybe I should be falling on my knees in gratitude and awe of His goodness to me when I least deserve it. But for now, at 3 o'clock in the morning, He makes me laugh. 2 months ago I wrote here that I was excited about learning Spanish, and I prayed that God would help me learn and provide me with opportunities to serve Him. Something I did not write, that I should have, is that I was also going to be losing my amazing roommate, Leanne, on October 24th because she is getting married. You all know that living in this house requires a very special person, and I was completely trusting God to provide someone in His time (though I was prepared to wait and live alone until He provided someone). Well, ladies and gentlemen... I am not at all surprised to tell you all that God has faithfully come though again, and He has done so in a way that just makes me laugh as I think about how it is only HE that could have done this.

A couple of weeks ago I got a random phone call during work. It turned out to be Yulyney, a girl from the Summit who was looking for somewhere to live. She had gotten my name/number from a friend at church. Turns out, Yulyney is Columbian (and therefore speaks Spanish!) and is involved in Summit en Español. Are you kidding me??? She came over to see the house the next day, and had dinner with Leanne and I a few days later. By then, she'd made her decision to move in. Yulyney has a heart to reach our neighbors with the love of Christ. She's ok with living in this neighborhood, even though it's not the safest part of Durham. Sound like anyone else you know?! :)

Tonight after church, I didn't want to go home. Yulyney was going to watch soccer at someone's house, but she strongly encouraged me to go hang out with some of the people from Summit en Español. I really wanted to go, but I was also very nervous... It has been 4 years since I've hung out with a group where most of the people in the room were not American. With Yulyney's encouragement, I ended up going, and oh my goodness... I had so much fun! I most definitely made a FOOL out of myself trying to speak Spanish. One friend even tried to teach me a little bit of dancing... haha... FAIL! It's ok though. I know I'm going to make an idiot out of myself learning this language, but I'm going to do whatever it takes! I'm ok with laughing at myself, as long as my new friends will be patient with me while I learn (which is going to take a while!).

So yes... God makes me laugh... both at His crazy, amazing, faithfulness to me, and at myself. He is so good.

I don't believe in coincidence

2009-08-12T00:20:00.003-04:00

Sunday night (as my previous post records) I got super excited about the Summit's Spanish Campus, and my desire to learn Spanish was rekindled in a huge way. Today I went by the preschool office and picked up my class list/folders. I have 13 kids in my class so far... possibly 14 soon... 7 of the 13 are Spanish speakers and the possible 14th is as well. Over half of my students are Spanish speakers - that's more than I've had in the last 2 years combined. Add to this scenario, that the only other teacher from my school (besides the ESL teacher) that spoke any Spanish at all has gone to another school, AND that my classroom is right across from the front office... I think I will have MUCH opportunity to practice what I know and learn much more this year. Crazy... Coincidence? I think not. ;)

¡Summit en Español!

2009-08-09T23:42:00.006-04:00

I have known for a couple of months now that the Summit would soon be launching our newest campus... Summit en Español. I was already excited about this because it was going to be meeting at the same time as the Summit Evening Campus (which is moving to Saturdays as of August 15th). I believed it was a great idea. I looked forward to occasionally making my way down to the bay, where the Spanish campus would be meeting, to listen to and sing in Spanish. But I can honestly say, I wasn't as pumped as I am now.

This afternoon, as I was helping set up for the evening campus, I was listening to the worship team practice (it's one of the reasons I love helping set up!). Everything was per usual... Raudel was singing "Here I am to worship..." when all of a sudden I realized he was not singing in English! My heart did flips as I listened and looked at the screens and realized that 2 of the songs we were singing tonight were partly in English and partly in Spanish.

You see, I used to love Spanish. In college, I was convinced I'd be a missionary someday in a Spanish speaking country... I ended up in South Africa, where they most definitely do not speak Spanish. Strangely, and most assuredly by God's grace, while I was gone for 2 years, not using any Spanish, I did not lose much of what I had learned in school.

In my first 2 years of teaching, I was able to use a good amount of Spanish (for many of my students, Spanish is their primary language). I bought a house in a neighborhood where many people speak Spanish, and I helped out with the kids at the Summit's ESL classes. I loved learning more words/phrases in Spanish. I met a pastor at a Spanish church and visited his church - vowing to continue to improve my Spanish so that one day I'd be able to understand his sermons! :) Slowly though, I used less and less Spanish. I still have Spanish speaking children in my classes at school, but the last 2 years, they've come in with a good handle on English. I lost contact with my pastor friend. I stopped helping at the ESL classes to focus on the Oxford Manor Kids' Club, and I have yet to have a good conversation with my neighbors.

Tonight, as I sang the songs in both languages... as I worshipped my Savior in Spanish, my desire to learn this beautiful language was, without a doubt, rekindled. I pray that God will help me learn and then provide me with new opportunities to serve Him! I am so excited, or should I say, "Estoy muy emocionada!" (Raudel, was that right??) about this upcoming Saturday, when the Summit PM campus AND Summit en Español will be simultaneously launched. I know God is going to do big things, for from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever!! Amen!

Eat cookies. Lose weight. It's that simple.

2009-07-24T15:57:00.008-04:00

Seriously!? Are you kidding me??

Those were the words I saw flash before my eyes as I (not so simply) finished off my treadmill time this morning. Well geez, if I'd known it was that simple to lose weight, I wouldn't have gone to the gym!

I'm 28 years old, and having been struggling with my weight since I was about 7 years old, I can tell you - it's not simple. Nothing about it is simple. And eating cookies is not the answer. But slowly (I am fairly stubborn), God is teaching me what the real answer is.

I grew up in church, and I am thankful for the many truths of God that I learned at a young age! But I can honestly say that it wasn't until about a year ago that I ever heard a pastor preach about the sin of gluttony. Yep, I said it. Gluttony. It's not a pretty word. It's not fun to talk about. And it's especially not fun to hear about it. The sting of conviction is never sweet, but what is sweet is the amazing declaration that Jesus paid for my sin on Calvary. Though this is a hard battle, I know that God is the strength of my heart (where all this sin originates!) and my portion forever! I know that I am a child of God, and that He desires good for me (and good does not mean He lets me do/eat whatever I want!).

This has been an incredible, life-changing revelation for me. It's one that I have to constantly remember. My small group members have to pray for me and hold me accountable. It's NOT simple, but it's so worth it to know that I am faithfully taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit, and that I am striving to live according to His plan for my life!

I realize that this concept (age-old though it may be) is quite foreign to our "supersized" "have it your way" culture, but it is Biblical. If anyone reading this would like to discuss this further, please let me know! I recently read a book called "Love to Eat, Hate to Eat" by Elyse Fitzpatrick, and I highly recommend it.

"Sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace."
Romans 6:14

the happier side of Oxford Manor

2009-07-11T01:57:00.005-04:00

After yesterday's post, I feel the need to write today and let you all know that today went much better! Brett went and talked to some parents Thursday afternoon and was told that "it won't happen again." Well, nothing happened today! I'm happy to take one day at a time. Today was a fun day at Oxford Manor. We had a surprising turn out of missionaries, and for that I am so VERY grateful! God always provides. :) I should be sleeping right now, so instead of writing a ton, I'll just show you some of the wonderful reasons I go to Oxford Manor every week. ENJOY!

sometimes ministry hurts

2009-07-09T16:35:00.005-04:00

Today was day 3 of the 5 day Oxford Manor Kids' Club. Each day has had its struggles... primarily because of some tough, angry, defiant older kids who, for some odd reason, show up every day with no apparent goal other than to be a distraction. Tuesday they faught (for real fighting) twice. Wednesday they located the snack buckets and stole some snack. Today they decided that throwing water would be fun. Then at the end of club, when we were giving out snack to the kids who listened, a couple of them came over and tried to grab snack right out from the bucket that I was holding. I honestly don't know exactly what happened. All I know is as one grabbed the bucket, another grabbed snack that fell on the ground, and somehow at the end of it, I ended up with a pain in my side. I seriously can't tell you if a kid hit me or if I twisted wrong trying to get the snack away from them, but somehow the story ends with a pain in my side (literally).

I tried so hard not to seem influenced or shaken, but I honestly was. My heart hurts more than my side does. I wonder what these kids' lives are like everyday... for them to think that stuff like this is funny, to see nothing wrong with blatantly stealing things, to think that yelling and calling people awful names is ok. I grew up with Christian parents who taught me right from wrong, and who loved me unconditionally. I can't imagine what it must be like for these kids. I hate the sin that is ruining their lives.

Sometimes I have trouble remembering that it is the sin that I despise. I found myself on Tuesday just wishing they would go away so we could have a good kids' club without so much annoying disturbance. Sometimes I have to watch my tongue because my first reaction to rude talk is to throw some back at them. Wednesday morning God smacked me with 1 Peter 3:8-9 - Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. God put His finger right on my own sin and reminded me that I am called to bless, not return evil with evil, or "rude talk with rude talk."

That's not easy... today's events make it even harder. It's hard to be treated like crap every day and go back the next. But Jesus did it, and tells us to be willing to do the same. 1 Peter 3 goes on to say "Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled."

We are there because these kids need Jesus. They need the life changing power that only Christ can offer. Thankfully, about 50 kids are hearing the Gospel everyday. Even though the rough kids try to distract, many kids have their eyes glued to the teacher as he teaches them about Jesus Christ. This is why I am there! I love watching the kids as they hear about Jesus and His love for them. I am thankful that Jesus has power over sin, and that I already know the end of the story!

Please pray with me that the next two days will continue to be fruitful for the Kingdom of God. Pray that Jesus will be glorified and that He will draw these children to Himself. Pray that residents of Oxford Manor will come to know Jesus Christ, whatever it takes.

Hope

2009-07-06T18:00:00.004-04:00

The summer after I returned home from South Africa was the summer that the Summit Church launched its first "Week of Hope." I can't express in words how much that helped me to decide to plant myself in Durham. It helped me to begin to see that my life as a "missionary" had not ended simply because I was not on foreign soil - my location had changed, but my calling in life had not, and God showed me that (for now) Durham is my mission field.

I signed up for a couple different projects. When I showed up for one, I realized that it had been more geared for students (youth) and there really wasn't a place for me. I was somewhat disappointed because it was in a public housing development where there were lots of Spanish speaking kids, and I wanted to practice my Spanish! Since there was nothing for me to do there, I went to the Summit offices, where the secretary called Brad (the guy in charge) and asked if there was a project that needed any more help. I was sent to Oxford Manor.

Tomorrow will mark the 4th week-long kids' Bible club in Oxford Manor. It marks 3 years of tough ministry in this neighborhood. I can't help but reflect on how God has moved. I know God consistently challenges me through this ministry - He challenges me to trust Him and His ways. I am constantly reminded that He is in charge, He loves these kids infinitely more than I ever could, and He has great things planned for them. I get to be a small part in His plan. I'm often too busy asking Him to send more volunteers or griping about something that went "wrong" to remember to thank Him for allowing me the privilege to get to know some amazing kids and simply show them and tell them about Jesus, my wonderful Savior. What an honor to be able to be God's mouthpiece in Oxford Manor!

I pray that I will never back down from the truth of the Gospel, and I will fervently pray for salvation to come to the residents of Oxford Manor through Jesus Christ. He is their only hope.

I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.
Romans 1:16

28

2009-07-02T10:25:00.008-04:00

So far 28 is not so bad... I've had a fantastic birthday week! On Tuesday, my best friend from home (Shannon) came up to Durham and we had a yummy lunch at the Cheesecake Factory... mmm... Then Tuesday night I went to my Summit life group, which is always fun! We finished up some work on our hope for Durham project and then enjoyed blueberry muffins (which my friend Ashley made just because she knew I liked them!) and played a few rounds of corn hole. If you don't know what corn hole is, I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's this game where you have to throw bags of corn (literally) into the hole of the wooden corn hole target on the other side. It doesn't sound all that fun, but it really is! Since I'm not too good with explanations, I'll include a few pictures.

Last night (my actual birthday) Leanne made lasagna (my favorite!) and peanut butter pie (she knows I'm not a fan of cake). Then after she, Chris, Ainsley and I ate, we played THREE games of Settlers of Catan. I won the first game, and they swear they didn't let me win. Then Chris won the next two... oh well. I'm happy with my win. :)

That past couple of days have been somewhat tough... not that I dread getting older or anything... I don't care how old I get. My biggest fear though is wasting my time. I have a hard time reliving the past (especially my 2 years in south africa) and thinking I was somehow a better Christian "back in the day." God has been good to me though, and reminded me of the many ways He has clearly made my path straight to be here and to be doing the things here He has called me to. I must never doubt that His plan is best for my life, even when I can't see what He is doing! I have a feeling 28 is going to be a GREAT year. God's got it under control, so I have nothing to worry about.

I need you

2009-05-29T17:19:00.010-04:00

A few days ago I was catching up on some of the season finales that I'd missed. (Incase you don't know, I gave up my cable, and now watch shows online when I have time.) In two of the shows I watch, there was a prominent message between characters that I noticed. One in a text message and the other verbalized... three simple words...

This message is prevalent in relationships on television. There's always this strong dependency on each other that inevitably falls to pieces further down the road... such a predictable plot line.

A couple weeks ago I also heard a new (for me) worship song - first at a funeral, and then the next night at church. The chorus of the song says:

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

These two ideas do not mesh... which is such an indicator of our society. We know we need something... we need healing... we need Christ. But we are fed the lie that we need so much more (what we think is more anyway). We need love, acceptance, sex, money, respect, happiness. No wonder we're always dissatisfied and in need of something else.

I love that this song says "You're more than enough for me." I have been listening to this song A LOT the fast few days. I must be often reminded that Jesus is more than enough for me. He is all I need. All I ever WILL need! I may want other things, but I love knowing that He provides more than enough... sometimes I may not get what I want, but I will always get what I need. He is my faithful provider. My loving Father. My portion. And I can rest assured knowing I need nothing else.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Matthew 6:25-26

Older...

2009-05-28T00:56:00.005-04:00

Every once in a while there is a perfect song that hits me just right.... tonight it's Colbie Caillat's song "Older" (a bonus track from her Coco album on iTunes). I think the lyrics pretty much explain themselves...

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go
Life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes
Many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused
Turned around
On and on
On and on
Yeah, yeah'

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go
Life goes on
Over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah'

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

not just "one of the guys"

2009-04-22T22:24:00.014-04:00

I grew up with brothers. The few neighborhood kids my age were boys. Though I enjoyed playing with dolls, I also spent many hours building forts with the boy next door. I've never really had a problem befriending and easily talking to (most) guys, and I used to hate the thought of being considered a "girly girl." A strange thing happened after college... I bought this random pair of shoes... white adidas with light pink stripes on the sides. I loved them. That's when the pink madness began. To this day I adore the color pink. (If you know me, you can testify!)

Recently, I found myself wishing I could really "talk theology" with my guys friends. (I realize now how silly that sounds.) But really, I want to know stuff so I can hold my own in a conversation. I seriously get hyped when I actually do know what to say on a certain topic, but more often than not, I leave the conversation thinking, "dang it, I need to go to seminary." I wonder why I think this way. Why do I feel the need to "hold my own" in a deep theological discussion? I am certain there is an element of pride in this equation, as pride always seems to creep in. But I also believe that this feeling is born out of a God given conviction that I do need to know Him more. I've used "not being able to go to seminary" as an excuse! Seminary is not the one and only place to learn about God. He has given me His Holy Word, and that is sufficient! And thank God, guys are not the only ones God calls to know Him!

Earlier this week I stumbled upon the "women's theology" section of Mars Hill Church's media. I began listening to a teaching entitled "What is theology, and why should I care?" And I'll admit, it's gotten me kinda pumped to study Scripture. It was really sweet to hear truths from God's Word from a very intelligent, God fearing woman. She would put things in a certain way that only a woman could, and as a woman, just as I needed to hear it! I am really getting into the teachings on this website. I've even made myself a notebook to keep all the notes I frantically scribble! (No, it's not pink, but it does have pink in it! hehe) One of the women who does some of the teaching actually wrote a book called "Practical Theology for Women" I'm considering getting some other ladies to read this book with me so we can have our own theological discussions. (If you're interested, PLEASE email me asap! I promise we don't have to discuss it while painting our nails... though I'm not opposed. haha)

I know I have rambled... but I'm excited! I am loving this place that God has me in right now. A place where I am so in love with Him and His Word and His people! How I wish I could stay in this place (any advice on how to do that would be much appreciated). I hope that you will check out the links I included... they are quite useful!

"Wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." Proverbs 2:10

canceled sin

2009-04-02T18:27:00.004-04:00

This morning when I woke up, I had one line from a song in my head. Crazy thing was, I couldn't (at the time) remember anything else from the song... not the title... not any other line. Just this one line, "he breaks the power of canceled sin, he sets the prisoner free." Those of you who grew up Baptist know this song, I'm sure. I literally walked around this morning humming this line to myself over and over again until something hit me. "Power of canceled sin." Wait a minute... how in the world does canceled sin have ANY power of me? If sin has been canceled then it shouldn't hold any power over my life. NONE! Then I thought about something that was said at my small group on Tuesday night. A friend of mine said that we already have victory over sin through Jesus Christ and His death, so we are not enslaved to sin... we are not in bondage... BUT many times we choose to be in bondage to the sin. *Ouch* That one hurt... a lot. You see, I know I am free... I know Christ died to set me free, and it kills me when I think about the ways that I have chosen to live in sin and basically spit in His face. You may be thinking that I'm being too hard on myself, but let me point out that I know me, and I know how I have failed. I know that I have chosen to let canceled sin (sin that should have NO hold on me) destroy both my health and my relationship with Christ.

I've been listening to Charles Wesley's famous hymn, "O, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing" all day. (Can you believe I had to google the line from the song in order to remember what it was!?) All day I've been basking in the remembrance that Christ has freed me from sin. He set me free over 2000 years ago, and He continues to break the power of those sins that I, in blatant rebellion to Him, choose to hold on to. Man, He must really love me to keep coming after me like this. Where would I be without His grace and power in my life? I dare not think about it!!

He breaks the power of canceled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me
-Charles Wesley

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.
Romans 6:22

Vitamin B

2009-03-16T19:06:00.003-04:00

So I don't know if it's really the vitamin or not, but I've been taking this vitamin for about 2 weeks now, and I quite literally have been in the best (consistent) mood that I've been in in a really long time. It might have NOTHING to do with the vitamin, but darned if I'm gonna stop taking it! Today my kids were crazy at school (this rain really needs to stop), the people at advanced auto parts wouldn't put in my light bulb for me (like a friend had said they would), I spent 10 minutes waiting on passport pictures to print which then came out with a line across my face, went somewhere else to get them made and then got to the post office too late to send in my passport renewal application. Typically I'd have been freaking out by this point, but seriously, I wasn't. Vitamin B? Who knows, but I like the new me. :)

Vitamin or not though, life is good. I turned off my cable about a month ago and have not once regretted it. I actually have time to read now! I'm an avid book-buyer, but have never had the time to be an avid book-reader! But lately I have actually been reading and it's fantastic. Speaking of reading, my book is waiting for me... :)

mama needs a new pair of shoes!

2009-03-09T23:52:00.005-04:00

Shoes for hiking, that is! This past Sunday I finally made it out to the hiking trails at the Eno River. A couple friends of mine and I hiked about 2 miles and I didn't die! So today (Monday) I decided to take Cadey to do some hiking. We had a blast! I am quite sad that I didn't take my camera with me. Many times I wish I'd had it so that I could capture the hilarity of Cadey experiencing the trails. She very much liked splashing and swimming in some shallow parts of the river!! I very much liked the walk as well. This is the kind of exercise I want to get more of... the natural kind. I want to be outside, not in a gym! Both Cadey and I got great exercise and had fun doing it. Here's a picture of her (from my phone) on the drive home. She made me laugh... she just propped herself up against the seat and sat there, tongue hanging out, occasionally sticking her nose out the window. Yeah, it was definitely a fun afternoon! :)

get up and move!

2009-03-02T12:57:00.002-05:00

Lately, at Oxford Manor Kids' Club, we have been seeing glimpses of hope that these kids are "getting" the Gospel. A few weeks ago, we were teaching the kids a verse of Scripture about Heaven, and the teacher asked the kids how to get to Heaven. One of the little kids (about 4 or 5) said, "Jesus' blood has to cover up your sins!" Precious... he got it. This past Saturday the lesson was about the 12 disciples following Jesus. The teacher for the little kids asked them what it meant to follow Jesus and how to do it. Another little guy (about 4) said, "you get up and move!" Wow... he's so right!! Of course, the teacher was looking for something a little different (believing in and trusting Jesus), but I'm taking the kid version to heart. It means nothing if I sit and read the Bible and pray (which are good things!) if I don't also get up and move! The call of Christ is a call to action! Ah... truths from children. Priceless!

life with Cadey

2008-12-22T08:58:00.006-05:00

A little over a month ago I decided I wanted a dog. I'd always said that having a dog in my house was an absolute no - only because I have a small house and there's a leash law in Durham, so a dog can't run free. I grew up in the country, where our dog(s) could just go out and play and run as long as they wanted to. I didn't think it was fair to keep a dog in the house all the time.

Well... after the bullet incident, I started to rethink my "dog-in-the-house" philosophy. A couple of days later, Cadey entered my home, and not to sound ultra cliche and cheesy, but this crazy dog entered my heart as well. She's a goof ball - FULL of energy! Sometimes she's a bit much for me, and I think, "what have I done!?" But all in all, she's my baby, and as crazy as she is, I am now responsible for giving her the best doggy life I can. I've taken all kinds of advice from some very experienced dog people.

Here's what I've learned:

Talk in my "man" voice.
No attention unless all 4 paws are on the ground.
Be a tree!
I am the pack leader - oh yeah.
A tired dog is not an aggressive dog.
And my favorite...
A plastic bottle with 50 cents of pennies is worth a million bucks.

I kid you not. Cadey is a jumper. I swear, she will jump on anyone that walks through the door. It's not cool, and it's somewhat embarrassing. I want people to see her, and to like her, but I don't want her to hurt them! (I kind of have a tiny bit of awareness now how parents feel when they have kids who won't behave... they love them, and want other people to love them, but they're scared to leave their kid alone with someone for fear of what they'll do!)

Well... my sister in law, Jamie, was here on Saturday, and said that she has a German Shepherd who used to jump on everyone too. She told me this magical secret... a plastic bottle with pennies in it. Every time Cadey jumps, I shake the bottle, and she HATES the sound!! Everyone was at the house that day (we celebrated our Christmas early). I was too nervous to bring her out, but Jamie convinced me to try. I kid you not, with that bottle in hand, Cadey sat down, and let everyone come pet her. Even my little nieces!! This bottle is my new best friend. I fully plan to place many of them around the house when I get home!

Whosoever loveth me loveth my hound.

-Sir Thomas More

i still ♥ durham

2008-11-16T14:52:00.004-05:00

Yes, my friends... I still love Durham. Even after discovering a broken window Saturday morning, and a bullet in the corner on Saturday evening, I still love Durham. When I first discovered the broken window, I thought that a rock or a ball had been thrown through the window. The hole appears to be too big for a bullet hole. But Leanne and I couldn't find the projectile... meanwhile, some youth from out of town were staying at our house Saturday evening, so we had to deal with this discovery very secretively! It wasn't until Saturday evening, when Leanne and I snuck away from the youth at Frankie's to leave bit early to clean up the rest of the glass, that we found the bullet. It was laying off in the corner of the living room. From the looks of everything, the bullet looks to have been shot from a pretty far off distance, and more than likely, it was NOT intended for our window. In a way, that's better than someone intentionally throwing a rock through the window! It's not like I didn't know people around here shot guns sometimes. I am well aware of my location. I'm a little sad that the policeman today took the bullet. I really wanted to keep it as a memento! Life in Durham is never dull... I promise you that!

This morning, while the girls were getting ready, I had time to listen to a Marc Driscoll sermon from his series “Philippians: Rebel’s Guide to Joy” In the sermon he talked about how joy is not an emotion, rather joy is a lifestyle that celebrates the forward progress of the Gospel. He goes on to say that everything is an opportunity for the progress of the Gospel, therefore NOTHING (not even the worst situation) is without merit or purpose, and in THAT there is joy because it is ALL for the Gospel. God is definitely teaching me more and more about the difference between happiness and joy. He’s also making it clearer everyday that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

so much to say!

2008-11-05T06:58:00.006-05:00

This past weekend was quite action packed, and if I truly wrote all that I wanted to, no one would take the time to read it! But for those of you in another country who actually want to know what's going on and I'm not able to tell you about this face to face... here goes my attempt at a SHORT update on the awesome cool stuff God did this past weekend.

Friday night Leanne and I hosted a Halloween block party for our neighborhood. Friends, family and church pitched in to make this night a success. Some friends came early to set up. Some make or brought goodies. Some simply played games with the kids or served food/drink to those who came. Leanne and I had been able to go out earlier in the week to knock on doors and invite the neighbors to come. We had a good turn out - not everyone of course, but enough! For our first community event, I can definitely say I was pleased. :) Connections were made, and neighbors talked to each other - what a concept!

Saturday morning was another endeavor. Our friends from the Summit came over to help us gid a big ole ditch behind my house to help water drain away from my yard. Previously, whenever it rained, water would pool behind my house and would stay there for days. Yesterday it rained all day... and the ditch worked perfectly!!!

Saturday night I went over to my friend Jennifer's house and watched a big Florida Gator's game with her and Eric. They are huge fans of the Gators, so I did my best to at least look the part of a fan. :) Good friends... good times...Sunday was my Dad's 60th birthday! I got to go home after church and celebrate with him for a bit before heading over to Flat Springs (the church I grew up in) to sing at a celebration for the music minister. It was his 30th anniversary of working at the church. I saw lots of people I haven't seen or talked to in quite a while.

Phew! I needed a weekend to recover from my weekend. But no such luck. Thankfully, it's already Wednesday! Have a great rest of the week, and thanks for checking up on me!

my job rocks

2008-10-29T22:54:00.004-04:00

I have been dreading Thursday night for over a week. It's PTA curriculum night, and for the first time in my RN Harris life I have Pre-K parents signed up to come! I've been freaking out since Friday afternoon of last week... that is, I WAS freaking out... until I started thinking about what to do. As I thought (some outloud with my amazing roommate) about how to talk about literacy and math with a handful of parents, I just thought, "what would I want to know if I were a parent" and "what can I do to NOT make this meeting boring." Plus, I don't like talking in front of adults for very long. Little people I'm cool with... adults are a different story! Leanne and I went to the dollar store and bought $10 worth of random things. We came home and proceeded to make a LONG list of how to use these things to teach concepts that are in the NC standard course of study for Pre-Kindergarten. We even got Chris involved in the brainstorming. As I typed out the list and then created my hands-on agenda for the meeting, I actually found myself getting excited about it! I love what I teach. I love the way these kids learn, and the crazy, fun, imaginative ways I get to teach them. I actually get excited about helping parents know better how to teach their children. I really and truly love my job. What a blessing!

And one more thing... anyone who talked to me about my kids AT ALL last year knows without a doubt about Ke'Shaun. Ah... my little Ke'Shaun. Teachers don't have favorites... but if they did... hehe :) Anyway, Ke'Shaun was a baby when he came to me. He was still only 3 years old and was the youngest in the class. Though at the end of the year his social and physical skills were right on track, I honestly wondered how he'd do in kindergarten this year. Today I received the best job evaluation a teacher could ever ask for. Ke'Shaun's teacher came to me in the cafeteria today and said that I'd be so proud of him. She said that he read all of the class sight words to the class today and that I just HAD to come hear him read them. I went by during my kids' naptime and sure enough, he read every one of them. I asked the teacher if that was normal and she said that only about 6 kids in the class can read them all. She said Ke'Shaun is one of the hardest workers in the class. She said he may not know everything right away, but he works so hard that he gets it and he learns quickly. My Ke'Shaun is no baby anymore. He is a bright, SMART Kindergartner. And I could not be more proud.

Let me just say it one more time... I love my job.

my neighbors are gonna love me!

2008-10-20T19:35:00.003-04:00

A while ago I witnessed a Durham Public Schools school bus knock down a basketball goal at the end of my street. A couple weeks ago I realize that nothing had been done about it, so I decided to get involved. I've been in correspondence with the transportation department. Today they asked me who the goal belonged to, and I had no idea. This afternoon I was going to my car to get something, and I saw the guys walking down to the end of the street to hang out. I asked them who the goal belonged to, and explained to them what was being done about it. They were really excited at the prospect of getting their goal back! They didn't even know it was a bus that knocked it down... they thought some kids had knocked it down. Hopefully soon the goal will be fixed, and I'll be the good guy! I'm so glad that I finally had a reason to talk to these guys. Typically it's impossible to even get a hello out of them. But now maybe they'll like us! hehe :) Hooray for an "in" with the neighborhood kids! :)

i ♥ fall

2008-10-18T16:31:00.005-04:00

What a lovely afternoon... I slept in, which is always nice. Then I met a new friend... Leanne's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend (did you follow that?) who is spending the weekend here with us. She's great - she loves everything about the house... the colors, the decorations, the couch, and even my dishes! (I think maybe Leanne paid her to be nice, but I can't prove that yet...) Then we had a fantastic breakfast made by my amazing roommate... Chris and his brother joined us. After that, it was time to get everything ready for Oxford Manor kids' club. We had some new missionaries with us today, and they were wonderful!! The weather was a bit cool, and I definitely wished I'd had a jacket, but if I had, the weather would have been absolutely perfect for me. I love the brisk cool breeze and just the feeling of Fall. Fall makes me happy. I love wearing sweaters, hoodies, and sometimes even a scarf. I love pumpkin scented candles, Fall leaves, and apple cider. Fall makes me want to slow down and take a break from the madness. Soon enough the "most stressful" season of the year will be upon us (sad that Christmas is deemed stressful, but that's for another blog!). Now is the calm before the storm... the quiet lull of Fall. Ahh... I shall enjoy it while it lasts. :)

blessing from across the waters

2008-10-15T06:49:00.005-04:00

Yesterday morning I got on facebook to check something quickly. Right before I was about to sign off, I got a message. It was from an old friend named Vusi. He was a young man that I knew in South Africa. I met him through Kurt (my team leader in SA) and then got to know him better when I started working with Nurse (a young lady I met in the townships). Besides being friends, I was teaching Nurse how to teach Bible stories to little kids. I brought Vusi into the mix because I wanted Nurse to have someone to work alongside when I left. Plus, Nurse didn't have any Christian friends, and I thought they would be a good influence on each other. So... back to yesterday... I hadn't talked to Vusi in almost 3 years. We were catching up, and I read that he had attended Bible college, was an associate pastor of a church in the townships, and was a part-time missionary with another ministry! How cool! THEN... he wrote this... "since you introduced me to kids ministries, I've been on fire for the lord and it opened many doors for me.thanks to you and thank God for allowing us to meet!!! you will always be part of my life and the ministry that I do" Oh my goodness... I had no idea. NO idea. Needless to say, I bawled like a baby. It's so easy to wonder what good I did in my years in South Africa. I often wonder why God sent me there... I didn't see a lot of fruit. I had a great time, and loved life, but as ministry goes, I felt like God taught me more than He used me. Little did I know what was going on. This has reminded me that we have no idea what God is doing, and we will never know everything that is going on. If I hadn't gotten on facebook, I would not have chatted with Vusi. I consider myself extremely blessed to have been allowed to be a part of this young man's life. It is just proof that God can use even the most unworthy vessels! Oh... and Vusi said that next year he is starting a ministry near Swaziland. So he is not only reaching people with the Gospel in Johannesburg, but he's taking the Gospel to the ends of the earth. What a privilege and honor to have a small part in the HUGE plans of our almighty God!!

Nurse and Vusi teaching a Bible lesson in Rand Leases

wet socks

2008-09-26T23:28:00.003-04:00

This morning I woke up, got dressed, and headed downstairs to do my Bible study. I was unpleasantly surprised when I got to the bottom of the steps and my feet hit water. *splash* Without even turning the lights on, I knew what the problem was. Apparently the rain last night was enough to flood my laundry room and then that flooded into the living room again. This time it wasn't half as bad as before, but still... sucking up water for an hour and a half was not how I intended to spend my morning!

I can't help but think of how much God has taught me here in this house over the past 2 1/2 years. I am hardly phased when something like this happens. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't make me do the happy dance, but I remember all the times in the past that God has brought me through, and I know He'll bring me through this one too. I don't know how to fix this. I really don't. I have no idea what to do. However, I've no doubt that somehow, God will teach me even more through this! :)

Lately I've been enjoying some sweet time with the Lord. Leanne and I have been getting up every morning for the past 2 weeks to do our Bible studies. I have been like a new person! I'm awake, I'm loving my job, I'm more patient and friendly... and I am NOT one to be a morning person. It's crazy, really. hehe Anyway, I refuse to let something like this house problem get in the way of my growing relationship with the Lord.

This house.... I sure do love it. :-D

hide and seek

2008-09-24T08:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning during my quiet time, I was to look at the following verses...

Jer 29:13-14 You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

I made a comment noting that it says "I will be found by you." It's as if God is letting himself be found as opposed to me doing something great to find Him. I wrote that it made me think of playing hide and seek with my pre-k students. When you play hide and seek with a child, you don't hide very hard, and when the child comes looking, he is able to find you pretty quickly! I wouldn't go hide somewhere, knowing that the child doesn't have the capacity to find me. It was a short note...

Let it be known that to date, I have NEVER played hide and seek with my students at this school. Not ONE time. Yesterday afternoon, a kindergartner that sometimes spends time with my class on the playground said, "Ms. Boisvert, I'll count - you hide!" I could not believe my ears. As I "hid" under the slide, crouched down so he "couldn't see me," I thought more about this analogy. I wasn't really hidden. Anyone with their eyes open could see me. But I hid there because I knew that Michael didn't have the ability or the patience to really seek me out if I were truly hidden. He is a child, and he can only search so much before becoming frustrated or forget about it all together. How much is God like this with us!? He's not hidden... anyone with their eyes open can see Him. He's right there, waiting for me to come seek Him, and the moment I do, I will find Him! He lets me find Him... how great and loving is He!

Just as Michael and my students rushed to find me and were overcome with laughter and joy when they did, I pray that I will rush to find God, and that when I do (because I always will!), I pray that I will be overjoyed and excited to have found Him!

I love my job! :)

I've forgotten how to blog

2008-09-08T23:17:00.004-04:00

Here we go again... I seem to have had a blog/writer's block for the last month. I log on to write something, but nothing seems to come out! It's been just under a month since I last blogged, and though a lot has happened, I can't seem to find the words to write about them. I'll try my best though!

I guess the biggest thing is that school started! Yes, I still only have 6 kids. Yes, I am experiencing God's grace! hehe It's insane to only have 6 children in my class. Sometimes I feel a bit silly... I have a degree from UNC, my assistant has a degree from NC Central, and here we are together in a class with 6 kids. And they're GREAT kids! We had one little guy who cried a lot the first couple days, but this afternoon when his Mom came to pick him up, he said, "no, I'm not ready to go yet." Cute kid. :) My classroom is super cute this year too. I spent a little extra cash this year getting my room set up, and we decorated with zoo animals all over the place. I'll try to get some good pictures up here soon. It's such an amazing feeling to know what I'm doing for once. I've always changed teaching jobs, so this is the 1st year I've come back to a school for a second year. It's nice to not be the new kid for once!

I also had the amazing opportunity to go to Youngstown, OH with some of the young professionals from the Summit. We only went for 4 days, but we got a lot of work done! Youngstown Metro Church (which the Summit helps support as a church plant) has been going strong for about 4 years. Josh and Aimee Shank left the Summit to go to Ohio the same week I left to go to South Africa. So I'd been keeping up with them since then. It was great to FINALLY get to see firsthand what I've been praying for and reading about for 4 years! As another cool fact, Josh was the first person to ever talk to me at the Summit 6 years ago. Small world. :)

And for one more tidbit in the life of Bonnie... this past weekend my house flooded like never before. My kitchen has flooded before, but this time I woke up at 5:30 am to a 1-2 inch flood on the first level of my house. To make matters worse, all the tv/stereo electrical wires were on the floor! We had to turn off the power to the outlets, unplug everything, get everything up off the floor and to dry ground, put the waterlogged couch on two crates to dry it out, and suck up all the water with my shop-vac. We sucked up about 120 gallons of water. Talk about a crazy day. I'll add pictures soon!

Well, that's all for now. I must be getting my beauty sleep! Thanks for checking in!

6 kids

2008-08-15T00:14:00.003-04:00

I went to the Pre-K office today to pick up my class list and the folders for each child. I only have SIX kids in my class so far!! This may very well change, but six kids?? That's insane. I think I still have low numbers because they still want to make my class a combined regular/hearing impaired class, but they can't do that until they hire someone to teach with me who has the hearing impaired teaching experience. So far they haven't hired one, and I don't think they have any leads. WOOHOO! Is it possible that I can get lucky enough to have small classes two years in a row? This is crazy, but I am NOT complaining, that's for sure!! :) I'm so ready to get back to school and meet these kids! *sigh* I love my job. :)

life is expensive!

2008-08-05T14:09:00.003-04:00

My word... it is expensive to live a decent life. In the course of 24 hrs I will have spent a grand total of $1000. Part of that is to take care of my precious kitties. I've been a terrible Mom and they've gone without veterinarian care for over 3 years now. I know... I spent $800 to fly them home, and then haven't given them the proper care... I KNOW! So they're going to the vet tomorrow. Today I took my car in to the shop because it has been vibrating. Well, they found more problems as they went, and the price kept going up and up! I know it's important to take care of you car... I mean, I don't want to be driving on I-85 when my brakes finally decide to give out on me, or my tire with barely any tread on it decides to bust. So I handed over the visa and held my breath. I'm still holding my breath! AHHH!!!! OK... freak out - over. God always provides. In few months I'll get an extra check from my school because our kids scored above certain mark on their end of grade tests. I'm so praying that really does come in, or else I'm in deep debt! All that to say, taking care of yourself and your life really does cost a pretty penny! Anybody need a babysitter!? hehe

i ♥ my job

2008-08-03T23:58:00.004-04:00

What a concept! I realized a couple days ago that I am really ready to go back to school. This is also the first year that I am not required to work in early childhood. The past few years I've had to work to pay back a scholarship, but now I've done my duty! I could go do anything else I wanted to do, and yet, I'm going back to R.N. Harris to be a Pre-K teacher. I love it! I love the fact that I don't have to be a teacher anymore, but I actually want to be a teacher! I'm actually looking forward to a new class. Yes, I realize that the first few weeks will be tough... we'll have the criers, the whiners, and the "challenging children," but there will also be those that capture my heart. The kid who cried to most last year (for almost the first 2 months!) became my little shadow and I miss him and his hugs to this day. So yes, I AM ready for summer break to be over. (Well, after my little vacation with Mom next week!) I am actually ready to get back to work. Hooray! This was my little crier from last year!! I thought he'd NEVER come in with a smile on his face! But he eventually did. :)

it took me this long to figure that out??

2008-07-30T23:30:00.001-04:00

Last night I was sitting with a lovely group of ladies at a church planting seminar at the Summit. No, I don't plan to run off and start a new church any time soon, but I am very interested in the church planting movement, and have been since I started reading up on the subject 4 years ago in South Africa. The seminars are for both those interested in overseas church planting and North American church planting (be it California or right here in good ole Durham). I was chatting with another girl at the table about where I felt called to. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I would go back overseas in a heartbeat. But I also feel very much called to Durham for this season of my life. So I was telling her that I'd go overseas at any given moment, BUT that I'd made the crazy (silly?) decision 2 years ago to buy this tiny old house in the ghetto, and that selling it (in order to go overseas) would be quite a feat. I said something to the extent of, "I would go overseas in a heartbeat, but for some reason, God put this house in my path so clearly that I couldn't resist." The more we talked, the more I came to the realization that perhaps one of the reasons God lead me to this house was to KEEP me here. It would be easy for me to leave this all behind and go to another land, but God is (for now) using this house to keep me firmly planted in Durham - a mission field all on its own!! The longer I'm here, the more I fall in love with Durham. She has her share of issues, but what place doesn't? Until the day (if, in fact it ever comes) when someone is crazy enough to buy this house, this is home.

a lesson in trusting Him

2008-07-15T22:26:00.004-04:00

Sunday evening when I started to plan out this coming Saturday's kids club, I realized that everyone but me (and possibly Amanda) was going to be out of town. I had a bit of a freak out moment. What was I going to do? I took a deep breath, reminded myself that God was in control, and went to bed.

Then I got a message from a friend saying that she and maybe some girls from her small group wanted to come out to Oxford Manor on Saturdays. I sent out an email to 3 friends who had expressed interested in coming to OM before, and one wrote back a couple hours later and said she wanted to come. Monday evening I got an email from one of the regular missionaries saying her plans had changed and she would be at club and would teach the younger kids. I also got an email from Amanda saying she'd be in town. Tonight at small group one of the guys said he would come out on Saturday (and in the future his fiance will come out too, but she'll be out of town this weekend) and another guy said he was definitely interested in helping out with the OM ministry, he just wasn't sure how yet. On my drive home from small group I called my roommate to chat for a bit, and she said she got a text today from a friend asking for my email address because she wanted to email me to ask about Oxford Manor.

Are you kidding me!? God really makes me laugh sometimes. How can I ever doubt him?? So on Sunday night I thought I had (maybe) 2 people who could go to the kids club (myself included) and now there will be at least 6 people there (3 of whom are brand new!). Funny how things always seem to work out when I trust God to work it out instead of myself!!

There IS hope for Durham

2008-07-12T20:00:00.006-04:00

This past week we had a week-long kids' club in Oxford Manor. Rick got a team in from a church in Monroe, NC and they did the whole thing! The team of us who go out every Saturday didn't have to plan or execute one thing all week - it was great! All we had to do was hang out with the kids, try to help with crowd control, and help guide the team as much as possible in how to best minister to these kids. It was awesome! It was such a breath of fresh air to be able to spend time with the kids without being the one to worry about who's teaching and who didn't show up and what are we going to do!?

This morning a small group from the Summit came to fix the picnic tables and pick up trash/glass on the playground. We decided that since the kids had club all week, and we didn't have many missionaries who could come today, we wouldn't have a typical club. What we ended up doing was even better!

When the team left yesterday, they left us with over 100 copies of the JESUS movie. Today the 9 kids that came to the playground hoping to have club got to be missionaries in their own home! We gave the kids handfuls of movies and said we were going to knock on all the doors and see who wanted a movie. They went crazy - it was awesome! The leaders stood back and watched as the kids that we minister to week after week became the missionaries. It definitely made my heart smile to see that there is, indeed, HOPE for Durham! :)

There is no "safe"

2008-07-11T17:00:00.001-04:00

This morning I joined a group of summit people to go help clean up a low-income apartment complex in Durham (as part of the Summit's week of hope). Since we were cleaning up the parking lot, we were to park our cars a couple blocks away at a local market. One of the ladies asked, "is it safe to park our cars there?" I wanted to say, "you could park your car in the church parking lot, and there's no guarantee it'll be here when you get back." It hit me though, that not too many years ago I would've asked the same question. As I got into my car I thought about all that God has been teaching me about trusting in Him and Him alone. I thought to myself, "safe?" There is no "safe" as the world perceives it. Even in a nice neighborhood, stuff happens... it's the way of this crazy world. I had been listening to a somewhat cheesy, but very beneficial CD that puts some scripture verses to song in order to help you learn them. The song playing when I got in my car was Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. Wow - perfect timing! I put the song on repeat in order to get it solidly in my head. God continues to teach me this lesson day after day - night after night! I still have moments at home when I jump at every sound. It's been over 7 months now since the break in, but for some reason, when I am here alone at night, I still have to be very intentional about trusting God! Leanne is gone this weekend, so last night as I laid down to go to sleep, I planned to keep repeating Galatians 2:20 until I fell asleep. Let's just say I think I said it twice... maybe. :) God is good!

When do Moms shower?

2008-07-03T15:02:00.002-04:00

That's what I asked my Mom today as Lauryn and I joined her for the last few minutes of her lunch break. I have been watching my 3 year old niece since yesterday evening. I volunteered to watch her last night while my brother packed up their house. (Oh yeah, by the way, they closed on their house the SAME day Emily was born - big day!) Last night my Dad called to ask if I'd be ok watching Lauryn until tonight. Of course I said yes! Lauryn time is special to me! :) So yesterday I made dinner, gave her a bath and got her to bed. I relaxed for a bit, enjoyed some internet time, and hit the sack myself. We slept in the same room, so when she got up at 7, so did I. I made french toast for breakfast. As Mom and Dad were both leaving, it dawned on me that I had not taken a shower yet... hmm... Well, the day had to go on, shower or not! She played well for a little while, but eventually got bored. So we went for a walk. We walked to the elementary school at the end of our road to play on the playground, but once we were there, I realized that the playground was not very preschooler friendly. Luckily, through a small trail is the church I grew up in, and they have a great playground. So we walked a bit further and played there for a while. I think I'm going to be a tough Mom. A few times Lauryn got herself into places and then didn't know how to get down. Instead of giving in to her whines for help, I made her try her best to get down with me "helping" (I actually didn't have to help her at all). I figured, she got up there, she can get down. And I was right. hehe She was pretty excited when she learned she could do it herself, and preceded to climb back up and down for about 20 minutes. Fun times. :) Then we trekked back home and headed into town. We visited with my Mom for a while on her lunch break and then went across the street to McDonald's. After lunch, she played on the playground for a while (can you tell I was trying to tucker her out?). Then we came home and went straight to bed! I'm hoping she sleeps for a good long time. To all you Moms out there - I have GREAT admiration for you all!! I hope I'm cut out for this some day... :)

Emily Reagan!

2008-07-01T22:02:00.003-04:00

Emily Reagan Boisvert born 6/30/08

What an great way to spend my birthday! I got to meet the newest member of the family, Emily. Lauryn is a very proud Big Sis. She cracked me up when she came into the room today and saw me. She was oh-so excited to see Aunt Bonnie (oh how I love it!) but that didn't last too long. Once she noticed baby sister she was done with Aunt Bonnie! They're both precious!!!

Friends and Family...

2008-06-29T21:59:00.005-04:00

What more could I ask for? Today both friends and family came out to dinner after church to help me celebrate my 27th birthday. It was perfect!! My family (from Sanford) finally got to meet my "Durham family" as well as a few of my Summit friends. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do for my birthday this year. We finally decided to go to Red Robin. Even then, I expected a small turnout. How exciting it is for me that there were 20 people that came! What an awesome display of God's goodness to me. I thank God for each and every one of you!!

everyday ministry

2008-06-27T07:35:00.004-04:00

So far I am LOVING my summer break. I'm not yet (too) bored, which is a great thing. I've purchased some summer reading books, so I now have no excuse to claim boredom! I'm quite enjoying having time to myself, and time to spend with friends whenever I want to. :) Yesterday I went to a free movie with the Amanda, her kids, and another Mom and her 2 girls. Then, after the movie, we all went swimming in the 2nd family's community pool. While we were there, another Mom from the Summit came with her 2 girls. So before too long, I was hanging out with 3 Moms and 7 kids! I loved it. I'm so thankful that after a couple years of asking (dare I say begging!) God for a "family" in Durham, He has richly blessed me! Now I not only get to hang out and learn from the Subletts, but also from other families I meet when I am with them. Most single "20-somethings" tend to stick with hanging out with just other 20-somethings. I'm glad I am different. I had a thought yesterday that both shocked me and made me smile. While I was sitting at the pool, being the only single person there (besides the girl working), and watching Moms and kids, I thought, "I am in a great place in life - I'm content." I mean, I DO want to be a Mom someday, watching my kids play, but I was thinking yesterday about the opportunities that I have NOW because I'm not yet married with kids. Even if it's just the ability to be an influence in these kids' lives, that's awesome! In the group yesterday, there were 5 girls, all in elementary school (I think). What a great chance I have to get to know them now (while they're still naive enough to think I'm somewhat cool), and then when they're older and their Moms "totally don't get it," maybe I'll be able to come alongside them and be there to encourage, advise, and just love these girls. How blessed I am to have this chance! I pray that I don't take advantage of this period of my life. It's SO easy to be selfish with my time... I tend to be very fond of "me-time." But I don't want to waste a minute of potential ministry in the everyday situations of life.

Chicken Noodle Soup

2008-06-24T13:56:00.002-04:00

Man... I never thought I'd be so happy about some chicken noodle soup. I guess when it's the first thing resembling food that I've been able to have in the past 36 hours, it changes the enjoyment factor a bit! For some reason, unknown to me, I woke up Monday morning with a stomach bug. I never get sick... I mean, I have never once gotten sick overseas (and I lived in South Africa for 2 years!) The last time I got sick was almost 3 years ago. I think because I so rarely get sick, I'm a big baby when I actually do. Thankfully I didn't have to work last night, but I did have to miss praise team practice. :( I still felt pretty cruddy when I went to bed last night, and didn't feel great when I woke up this morning. I took some more medicine, went back to sleep and when I finally woke back up today at almost noon, I felt pretty good! I decided to attempt some chicken noodle soup this afternoon, and it actually tasted good! Thank goodness... maybe I can start to get back to normal now. :)

lyrics

2008-06-22T00:49:00.003-04:00

Have you ever listened to a song a thousand times and then all of a sudden, for the first time, you really hear the song? That happened to me today. I recently bought the Passion: God of this City CD and have been playing it nonstop ever since. One of the songs is called "God of our Yesterdays." It has a very singable chorus, so I listen to it a lot and love to sing along with the chorus. Today as I was listening though, I heard the verses... and they hit close to home. I know that reading a song is NOTHING like hearing it, but here are the words anyway...

When we were in the darkest night
And wondered if our eyes would ever see the light
You were there, Lord
When we were in the stormy gale
And wondered if we'd ever live in peace again
You were there, Lord
You were there in the struggle
You were there in the fight
You were there all the time

We praise You - the God of our yesterdays
We praise You - the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes

So whatever lies ahead
Whatever roads our grateful hearts will come to tread
You'll be there, Lord
We will fix our eyes on You
And know that there is grace enough to see us through
You'll be there, Lord
You'll be there in the struggle
You'll be there in the fight
You'll be there all the time

We praise You - the God of our yesterdays
We praise You - the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes
We thank you - for grace in our yesterdays
We thank you - for peace in our hearts today
We thank you - for joy, as tomorrow comes
We will trust you, God

You're always closer than we know
Always more involved and in control
We will trust our lives to You -
The One who was and is and is to come

You see, I've been learning that I am more of a control freak than I'd like to admit. I like to think that I'm cool with whatever comes. I absolutely love being able to say, "I trust whatever God has for me!" And I know I CAN say that with full confidence. But sometimes I don't seem to believe what I know to be true. (What a paradox I am!) I say in one breath that I trust God fully, and then hear a noise outside my window and totally freak out. I say that God has a plan much bigger than me and then get an email saying I'm not scheduled to work AT ALL for the next 2 weeks and start to panic about how I'll pay for things. I so easily freak out - WHY!?! Why is it so easy to lose sight of how awesome, powerful and IN CONTROL our God is? I'm so glad that God's grace doesn't waver like my faith does. I'm thankful for songs like this one... songs that remind me of who God is, and how I can trust my life to Him.

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
(Psalm 9:10)

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.
(Nahum 1:7)

I'm bored!

2008-06-19T13:04:00.003-04:00

Spending the past few days with kids made me think back to what I was like as a kid. I was such a whiner. I realize just how annoyed my Mom and Dad must have gotten with me when I would proclaim, "I'm bored!" As if they had the magical cure for my boredom. Sorry Mom and Dad! Well... I guess some things never change. I think I'm weird. I like to have down time and relax, and I'm the kind of person that freaks out if I don't get that for a while. But at the same time, once I've been alone for a little bit, I get really bored! Last summer was the first real summer break I'd had since before college. After the summer was over, I vowed that this summer I would make more plans and do more so that I wouldn't get so bored. When I get bored, I think too much... it's not a good thing. I was set on taking classes at seminary until I became 90% sure I was going to South Africa for a while this summer. Well, that fell through at the last minute, so here I am... a whole summer ahead of me and no plans. Sylvan doesn't even need me much yet, so I'm hardly even working. AHHHH!!! I love sleeping in - I really do. But once I wake up, I need something to do. I have a few house projects I want to work on, but the real projects need more skill than I have. This week's goal is to organize my room. I'm about half way there. Next week - the office. Then I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm also determined to get some books read this summer. I am notorious for starting a book and never finishing it. So I am going to read like crazy! :) I could use some suggestions, so please pass them along!

Bonnie = Beach person???

2008-06-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

Are you kidding me?? Never in a million years would I have thought that I could enjoy the beach. I've just never been a huge fan of it. I've never liked being hot, getting burnt, or feeling like I just didn't fit in with all the bathing suit models laying out on the beach. Well gosh darn it... in the words of Amanda Sublett, "who flippin' cares?" I've been here at the beach since Friday afternoon, and I'm loving it! I did get sunburned the first day... oops... so that kinda put a damper on things, but I've still had a great time! I've learned my lesson - use sunscreen, and lots of it! I've also learned other lessons... vacationing with kids is quite enlightening! hehehe Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned that I'm here with Amanda Sublett and her 3 kids. Scott was here Friday through Sunday, but he had to go back for work Sunday evening. So now it's the 5 of us. We're having a great time. It makes me remember family vacations when I was younger. Fun times. :) Well... for some reason, I have major writer's block at the moment, so I'm not sure what to write.... I'll write more when I get home. For now - it's back to the beach!!! :)

No more kids!

2008-06-08T14:23:00.003-04:00

Our final class picture!

Thursday night I said goodbye to my lovely Pre-Ks. I have absolutely LOVED this past year teaching. I think I only had about 5 mornings where I genuinely woke up saying "I don't want to go to work today!" I think 5 out of a whole year with 4 and 5 year olds is pretty great! Especially considering that last year by the last couple months I was saying it every morning as I dragged myself to work. I'm VERY much looking forward to actually returning to the same school for a second year. That has never happened to me in my teaching career. I'm thrilled to have finally found a school that I want to stay at. As per usual though, there is another change in my future. Though it is not 100% yet, more than likely I will be teaching a blended classroom next year. I will have 6 or 7 "typical" kids (is there such a thing? hehe) and 6 or 7 hearing impaired kids. I will also be co-teaching with a hearing impaired teacher (she's not hearing impaired, she's just taught H.I. kids before). I'm part excited, part scared to death. This will be a change. Co-teaching!? STRESSFUL!!! I'm not looking forward to that part. We'll plan lessons together, which on the surface sounds great... but the thing is, I'm not a great lesson planner... Well... I actually write great lesson plans - when I write them!! And half the time I do write them, I rarely follow exactly what is written on them. Co-teaching changes that up a bit... I will have more accountability to adhere to the lessons and the schedule. So yeah, that scares me. BUT, I am also excited at the chance to learn some sign language, and try something new! There will be 3 adults in the classroom now, which will help out A LOT since it is a HUGE classroom. Hopefully by adding another body, the kids will be monitored better. Plus, they only want to have 12 kids in the class total, and with 3 teachers, that gives a 1/4 teacher/child ratio, which is the same as I had this year and LOVED! So... I am praying that whoever they hire for the H.I. job will be a perfect match for Ms. Hayes and I. Three women in one room has potential for disaster, but I know God has a plan and I trust Him! :)

Working in the rain

2008-06-02T13:24:00.003-04:00

So on Sunday afternoon when I called Scott to see if he could help me pick up a shed from Lowe's, I had no idea he was going to put it together too! Honestly, I just wanted it home so that whenever I could get to it, I could work on it, or my Dad could come help me. Well, Scott did plan to put it together - rain or shine! And unfortunate for us, it was definitely rain. Just as we were getting back to my house, the rains came tumbling down!! We put it together under my very small porch while the rains poured down around us. Now that's dedication!

Alex was a big help too!

Can you see the rain coming down in the background?? It really was pouring!

Meanwhile, Chris and Leanne were busy putting up a fan in Leanne's room. Usually a fan is not a complicated task, but anyone who's ever looked at the wiring in my house knows much better than to think such a silly thought. Whoever wired this house before knew NOTHING about wiring, so they're ll jacked up. Chris worked long t hard at the silly fan! Good job Chris! (And Leanne too. hehe:))

Flash Flood!

2008-06-02T13:15:00.003-04:00

Crazy, isn't it!? I have NEVER seen the water this bad in the 2 years at my house. Work must be done SOON!

If you've never seen my house, then you don't know just how close the water is from my back door. I have to fix this soon because if it gets any worse, I'll have even bigger problems!

Here's the creepy old shed that needs to come down soon!

The water carried many things through the back yard - one being this nasty old soccer ball. Alex wanted it badly enough to trudge through the water, so it was all his!

the return to home repairs...

2008-06-02T00:26:00.002-04:00

I've now owned this home for 2 years. Incredible, isn't it? For those of you who have been reading for at least that long... you've read a lot about this little house. My first year was all about home repairs... it seemed like every day something new was happening! The second year kind of slowed down. Some major jobs were finished, and I was out of money. Well, this summer is going to be a summer of home repairs! And I got started today. Leanne (my roommate), Chris (her boyfriend) and I went to Lowes. I bought a fan for her room and a garbage disposal (mine hasn't worked since I moved in!). Later Scott Sublett (from my adopted Summit family) came over to help me go back to Lowes and pick up a small storage shed. I have a old, creepy shed in my back yard and I've always said I was going to knock it down so I could somehow create a decent back yard. Well, the process has begun. Once the small shed is finished (Scott put almost ALL of it together today!), I'll move stuff from the creepy shed. Then, hopefully not too long after, we'll tear down the old one. Then the MAJOR project of digging a trench behind my house will begin. You see, there is an old drainage ditch behind my house and it is WAY backed up. There has always been some flooding, but today we saw an all new happening. The flooding turned into a RIVER! I'll have to post some pictures tomorrow, but I have never, in 2 years here, seen that much water flowing behind my house. It's definitely time for a MAJOR work day!!! Oh, and I also have to replace some windows. One of my little stain glass windows in the front of my house somehow got a hole in it. So yeah... lots of projects: a fan for Leanne's room, new garbage disposal, put up shed, tear down shed, whack down lots and lots of weeds, dig a BIG trench, and get new windows. Who thinks I can get all of this done before school starts in August!?!?!?! :)

The LION KING!!!

2008-05-29T13:42:00.003-04:00

Last night was FINALLY the night for the Lion King. The school has been working on the production for quite some time. A couple months ago I found out that the Pre-Ks were going to be in it, and I think I've been more excited about it than they have been! Here are some pictures from last night. They all did such great job!

When I heard that they needed people to help with the set, I rounded up a few Summit folks and we helped! We made 4 awesome trees (that didn't get used!! :( ) And then Leanne and Chris made this - the elephant grave yard. Is this amazing or what!? I knew Leanne could paint, by my goodness, I didn't know she was this good!

Circle of Life ("and it moves us all...")

Just Can't Wait to Be King ("... if this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out!" - Zazu)

Just Can't Wait to Be King

Curtain Call! :)

Memorial Day Weekend!

2008-05-26T22:01:00.004-04:00

This has been an incredible weekend, and I do NOT want it to end! I am now 100% officially ready for summer to begin. Well, not so much summer (I HATE the weather) but Summer BREAK! 8 more days with my kids, and a few more teacher workdays and I'm done! Two whole months off - I can't wait! This weekend I got to spend some time outdoors, and I'm more ready than ever to have some time off to enjoy the great outdoors. So... this weekend...

Friday night I got to use my brand new dishes when I cooked dinner for a few friends. I recently found a dish pattern that I absolutely love. It took me 2 years to find one, but I finally did. Hooray! So on Friday night I had a few friends over. I SO wish I'd taken a picture. Imagine these plates with bright orange placemats, dark blue napkins (yes, the cloth kind) and light green cups. I was kinda proud of myself. We even used salad forks AND dinner forks. I was pretty excited. I also cooked a meal I'd never made before - Tequilla Chicken - and it was very well received. Yippee!!

Saturday was another fun day. Oxford Manor, then a wedding, and then friends came over after the wedding Good times...

Sunday it keeps on getting better. We had one combined service at Cole Mill and then had a cookout afterwards. That was really fun... getting to see my church all out there having a good time together. At one point during the sermon, I found myself thinking, "man, I love this church." I mean really, I LOVE it! I have found such a wonderful home here, and I am so thankful for it. After the cookout, a few of us went to Frankie's for some Putt-Putt. I got a bit of a sunburn, but it was worth it. :) To make it even better, a guy from church that I've tried for MONTHS to talk to and had no luck (he's SUPER shy) actually came with us! After THAT, my friend Jason called and invited us to got play some Disc Golf with him. So off we went to play some disc golf. Wow. THAT was fun. I'm so bad at it (I've even played before with my brothers and Dad, but I'm just not good). But it was still a great time. I'm looking forward to the summer so that I can do more fun things outside like this.

Today was a bit more calm than yesterday, but still fun. :) This morning I went to the gym for an hour and half and then came home to hang out with Leanne while Chris went mountain biking with Jason and Clayton. (FYI: I work with Jason at Sylvan, and Clayton is a rock climbing friend of Jason's.) After they finished, Leanne and I joined them for a cookout at Claytons. Jason made shish-ka-bobs! I made homemade ice cream for the first time this year. Fun was had by all.

Now I'm sitting at home NOT wanting to go back to school tomorrow. At least I have the Lion King to look forward to! Yep, this is the big week! I guess I'd better be getting to bed if I'm going to start this week right. :) Thanks for checking in on me!

ZUMBA!

2008-05-23T07:21:00.002-04:00

So I KNOW I have been slack about this blog for the past few weeks - sorry! But the last few weeks of school for a teacher are about the craziest. And add to that that my assistant has been out sick (for real this time) since Tuesday afternoon. School is crazy. My kids are SO done with Pre-K it's crazy. They're done with each other. They're done with the centers in the classroom. They're just done, and their behavior shows it! School is exhausting! I have to go early to get the kids off the bus (which usually my assistant does) and then I have to stay late to do paperwork that I didn't get to do during the day. Phew! I'm tired.

One positive note - I kind of had a challenge last weekend to start getting up and going to the gym BEFORE school. So... Monday morning I was up at the crack of dawn and I did it! And it felt GREAT! Also, while I was there, I noticed a big sign for a new class called ZUMBA! It's a Latin dance-based aerobics class. I went last night with a friend from church and GOOD GOLLY! It kicked my butt. I loved it! :)

Sorry that's all I have time for now... I'll try to write more as soon as I get more than 5 minutes to myself!

400th post

2008-05-09T13:58:00.009-04:00

Wow, according to blogger, this is my 400th post! Crazy, isn't it? I started this blog somewhere around October of 2003... almost FIVE years ago!! Insanity, I tell ya! I should have something amazing to say in my 400th post, but really, I can't think of anything. I know I should have posted before this (it's been a long 2 weeks - sorry Amanda!). But now that I actually have a moment to write... nothing is coming to mind. So I'll just write a few snippets as they come to mind...

-As of now I am sitting in my warm living room waiting on the a/c guy to come and see what's wrong (this time) with my air conditioner. It's no surprise that the thing is broken again. I think it breaks once a year at least. I have a home warranty, so I really want it to be dead so I can get them to replace it with a brand new one! Wouldn't that just be lovely?

-My kids are going to be in the Lion King! I found this out about a month ago now, but I've never written about it. For those who don't know, I teach Pre-K at an elementary arts integrated magnet school. My Pre-Ks haven't gotten to be involved in any of the "specials" this year (art, music, dance, gym). It's quite sad really, because I kinda think I have the best kids in the whole school. (I'm not biased, am I? hehe) Honestly though, I have a small class and they really are strangely well behaved. Teachers often see us in the hallway and ask their kids why they can't act like the Pre-Ks. Hooray! Well, a few weeks ago, during our nap time, the music teacher came and told us that the drama teacher wanted us to come practice with the kindergarteners! I got those kids up in a flash, and before they knew what was going on, we were dancing and singing with the best of them. Lucky for my kids, I learned the dances with them, so we practice (not once a week like the rest of the kids) but every day! The rest of the school has been working on this all year, but my kids have had a month, and this past Monday, the dance teacher kept commenting on how great the Pre-Ks were doing. I'm so proud of them! And it's really exciting to finally get to do something with the rest of the school. I'll make sure to post some pictures when I get a chance. :)

Singing & dancing is nothing new for these Pre-Ks!! :)
This was back in December.

-This week I had a revelation. For the first time in my adult-job history, I am in a job that I 100% want to come back to next year. Wow. THAT is a great feeling. I have been slowly getting to know the teachers at RN Harris though this year, and I love the atmosphere there. I am the only Pre-K teacher, so it is a challenge to feel connected, but I've really made an effort to at least get to know the Kindergarten teachers this year (I'll work on 1st grade next year - hehe). For the first time, I look forward to seeing some of my Pre-Ks in Kindergarten next year. Since RN Harris is a magnet school, none of my kids were districted to attend, but many of them applied, and I may have up to 5 out of 9 returning next year! I'll finally get to see how well I did at preparing them for Kindergarten.

Gosh, I really can't think of anything else right now... Life has been pretty amazing. A great friend gave me a piece of wonderful advice a few weeks ago. He basically said I needed to stop trying so hard to figure out the future that I don't enjoy the present. He was right, and I've been taking that advice to heart and doing my best to enjoy the day God has given me. After all, I'm not guaranteed even tomorrow, right!? Thank God for good, Godly friends who aren't afraid to give the right advice, even when it isn't fun at the time.

Hopefully the a/c guy will be here soon... Here's hoping for a completely busted a/c unit! hehe

SHE'S HOME!!!!!!

2008-04-26T15:21:00.002-04:00

Today was kids' club at Oxford Manor. It was a normal Saturday morning until Brett got my attention and said, "guess who's back?" Yep. Shonda's home! They're back! PRAISE THE LORD! They finally came to their senses and got out of the crazy situation they were in. Please keep praying. They need your prayers now just as much as when they were gone. I'd write more, but I don't have time right now. I just had to update with the AWESOME news!!!! HOORAY!

the world is not a trash can!

2008-04-21T23:55:00.000-04:00

I love kids. I love my job... most days. Today was one of those days. :) We all ventured outside (before it poured down rain!) to pick up trash on the nature trail and around our playground. Tuesday is Earth Day, so this was our little Pre-K contribution to the Earth. While picking up trash, one of my girls said, "this isn't a trash can!" I said, "you're right, the world is not a trash can." For the rest of the morning, the class went around picking up trash and repeating our mantra, "the world is not a trash can!" It made my day. :) This is a picture of how it makes us feel when we see all the trash on the ground. (hehe)

2 seconds under the bridge

2008-04-20T22:27:00.006-04:00

Ok, for those of you who know me well, you know I love metaphors... so here goes...

I remember being a little kid in my parents' car, and not understanding how the rain somehow stopped for about 2 seconds while we drove under a bridge. Of course, it didn't take me too long to figure out that the rain wasn't really stopping, but we were just temporarily being sheltered from the battering rain drops. Tonight as I drove through the rain during a pretty heavy downfall, this image stuck with me. That's kind of how I felt today. Today I had the awesome privilege of spending the day with the Lechners, one of the families I worked/lived with in South Africa. They have been in Virginia at a conference for those who are home on stateside assignment for a few months. This was the closest they would be to me, so I made the trek this morning at about 6am! Seeing them was worth every minute in my car. I have missed them so much! One of the coolest things though, is that it didn't feel like I'd not seen them in almost 2 1/2 years. Of course the kids have grown, and all of our lives have dramatically changed (they've moved to another country!), but we've been able to keep in touch (hooray for blogs!). This morning I arrived early enough to attend the worship service with them. I was a bit apprehensive... usually when I get around a lot of missionaries, it makes me really sad that I'm not one of them! But today was totally different. When the speakers talked about missions and missionaries, I totally felt like it applied to me too. I may not be in another country, but I am 100% sure that God has placed me in Durham, NC to be a missionary here. Maybe someday He will call me back overseas, but for now, I am thrilled to be part of His plan here! Sometimes I have a tendency to get overwhelmed with my life in Durham. I sometimes try to do more than I am capable to doing (or at least doing well!). So today I took a break, I got away from Durham and away from the hustle and bustle of my busy, everyday life. Today was a breath of fresh air... 2 seconds under the bridge during a rainstorm.

And now... PICTURES! :)

Here's one of me with the family. The boys are both leaning down so that I don't feel short... they're both way taller than me now!

See how tall they are!?!

How funny is this? They had a family fun day inside (due to the rain). This is Charlie (on the left) and his son Luke racing to finish the blow up obstacle course! See why I love them? hehe :)

Angie and I... the first one was taken in August of 2005. We attempted a repeat... please note: this was after a long, rainy day! hehe :) We had a couple comments today about how we look related. Anyone agree??

family time

2008-04-13T00:01:00.003-04:00

My Mom's birthday was this past Tuesday, but the family all got together today to celebrate. It's sometimes difficult to coordinate, but so much fun when we can get everyone together! I love my family so much. We're pretty wild (13 of us in all - 4 being kids), but it's always a good time. I'm having a hard time deciding between 2 special moments from tonight to share, so I'll share both. :) 1)When I got home, my niece, Lauryn, was asleep. She didn't sleep long though because I think it was too loud. When she woke up, she was still sleepy. I picked her up, and she laid her head down on my shoulder and drifted back to sleep. I took her to the Grandkids' room and sat with her for a while in the rocking chair while she slept peacefully in my arms. How I LOVED that feeling. She is so precious to me! 2)My Mom got the movie, "Enchanted" for her birthday. Since the girls outnumbered the guys at the end of the evening, we got to watch it. All the Boisvert ladies claimed the couch. My Mom, me, Lauryn, Cheryl (my sister in law) and my new niece who is yet to be born! I wish I had a picture of us all... 3 generations of Boisverts! Good times. :)

not giving up

2008-04-10T22:59:00.004-04:00

To those of you who faithfully read this blog - THANK YOU! I'm really trying to update it more than I used to (Really, for a while I was lucky to post once a month.) Anywho... sometimes my posts may seem more "down" than others, as my last post was. But really, that's ministry! Some days are great and some are worse than terrible. I said in my last post that I felt discouraged and disappointed, and I meant that. I still feel that way, but I am so VERY thankful that over the years, God has taught me that it is NOT about what I am feeling. It is about Him, and His plan. I love knowing that because it makes me keep going! My feelings cannot, and will not get in the way of His plan. :) Tonight we had Bible study in Oxford Manor. We're meeting at Zee's house now since Shonda is MIA. (Please keep praying for that situation, even if you're not sure what it is!!!) It was kinda funny because tonight, for the first time, everyone at Bible study had gone to the Summit the Sunday before. We started out using a discussion guide that corresponds to the sermon from Sunday. It didn't take long though, for us to get off track. A question about salvation vs works came up (we're getting used to this one!) so we were able to talk about that for the rest of the night. It was pretty awesome. So... we may be missing some of our members, but the Word continues to be preached in Oxford Manor. Praise the Lord!

Gettin' Real..

2008-04-08T23:08:00.006-04:00

Ministry is tough. No one ever said it would be easy. I'm pretty sure though, that I had it easier when I was a missionary in South Africa. Being a missionary in Durham has proven to be much more of a challenge. I need everyone reading this to pray. I am not comfortable giving many details out about this (and many details are still unclear to me), but things are a mess. Shonda and Vondeara are making some unwise... no... STUPID choices right now and they are affecting more than just themselves. I'm feeling various emotions right now... shock, anger, disappointment, discouragement... Part of me doesn't know what to feel. Part of me wonders if this is all real. Only last Thursday Shonda and Vondeara were in my house, enjoying a meal with us, and talking about the Bible. Now I'm not entirely sure where they are to be honest. I can't get in touch with them. Everything I hear is through their sister, who seems to be as confused as I am. It's all so crazy.

I can't say I'm surprised though. I hope that doesn't sound terrible, but I'm not. Heartbroken? Yes. Surprised? No. This is what we're dealing with, and as awful as it may be, this is it. This is the community God has placed me into, and with all my heart I will serve Him the best I know how. But this is a broken world. I can't expect things to go perfectly when we are not at all perfect. We are a messed up people. We do messed up things and make messed up choices. As part of my Bible study last night I read part of the story of Hosea and Gomer. Who, in their right mind, would choose to marry a prostitute? Who would marry and pursue a woman you knew would be unfaithful to you? This is what God has done with us. He pursues us - He loves us - He wants us to be His bride. And yet we run. We run to any temporary pleasure that we deem necessary for the moment. We fail Him time and time again. I fail Him. And He still yearns to rescue me.

Lord, I pray that you will rescue Shonda. I know that she is not too far for You to reach her. Your arm is not to short to save her. Pursue her. Hedge up her way with thorns, build walls around her, so that she cannot find her path. She will pursue her earthly loves, but she will not attain them. She will seek them and not find them. Then she will say, "I will go and return to the Lord, for it was better for me then than now." (Hos. 2:6-7)

Sping Break Day 3: dinner party!

2008-04-03T02:05:00.002-04:00

I'm SLEEPY! But I'll write quickly (so please forgive any typos)...

Tonight I had a full housel! My original plan was to invite just Brett, Shonda, and Vondeara over for dinner. Then I decided my friend Paul might want to come too. Then I remembered my friend Zee (also from Oxford Manor) who recently saw Brett and told him to tell me to call her. So I called her. But for a long time, no one called me back. At about 6:45 I almost canceled since I hadn't heard from anyone. Brett suggested I call Tina (Shonda's sister) to invite her and to see if she knew where Shonda was. So she says she wants to come and that she'll bring Shonda. Brett and I go to the store to buy some dessert stuff and while we're there, Paul calls. He might be coming. (yay!) When we get home, Zee calls (it's 8pm by this point)... she wants to come... and asks if her boyfriend can come. Why not?! Then Vondeara calls.. he asks if his brother can come. Then Zee calls back.... Can her boyfriend's Godbother come? Of course... Brett leaves to go pick up Zee and the other 2 guys, and Tina is on her way with Shonda, Vondeara and Vondeara's brother. I'm freaking out. I go through the panty and freezer looking for ANYTHING I have that can go with the ham steaks I had bought (thank God for Food Lion MVP sales! hehe). The original plan was ham, green beans and macaroni salad. That was it... but I KNEW that would not be enough. I found some bisquik and had just enough (literally) to make one batch of drop biscuits. Once those were in the oven, I remembered the potatoes my Mom had given me when I went home for Easter. Though I'd never made mashed potatoes (by myself and from scratch), I figured now was the time to learn! So I got those cooking, and found some frozen corn in the freezer. Phew! All within about 30/45 minutes I had prepared ham steaks, green beans, corn, mashed potatoes (which were, according to my friends, "bangin'") biscuits and macaroni salad (well, that was made ahead of time). I must admit, I'm a little proud of myself. Everyone raved about dinner, and you know... it wasn't that hard! To make the night totally amazing... dinner turned into a straight out Bible study. Someone asked a question, and "Pastor Brett" went to town. I'd say for a good hour questions were asked and every time we went back to the Bible for answers. By this time Paul was there too, so that helped a lot, and he was able to add some good insight. I LOVE THIS! Again I say, this is exactly why I bought this house. I have desired from day one for this house to be a place where people would learn more about Christ. I never imagined it would look like this, but I am so glad it does!! God has blessed me so much! He is truely a God who surpasses all my expectations. :) For Him to put me here... in this time... in this place... What an incredible honor to be His chosen servant!

Amen and goodnight!! :)

Spring Break Day 1 : no plans...

2008-04-01T02:21:00.010-04:00

I had all intentions of this being a "do-nothing," uneventful Spring Break. It seems God had other plans in mind. My day started off fairly normal... I had to get up early because the Time Warner Cable guy was coming to install our internet (finally!). A little after he left, a friend of mine who is a news reporter in Durham called to ask me if I new a girl named Skye in Oxford Manor. When I said I didn't, he told me that he was on his way to Oxford Manor because he was assigned to a story about this girl's murder. Whoa. I know this stuff happens "all the time" in Durham, but it happening in Oxford Manor made it hit home that this is real. I'll admit that at the time I didn't do all that I should have. I tried to reach Shonda, but her phone was off. I should have driven over there, but I didn't. I was too comfy at home enjoying my uneventful Spring Break. As I was getting into my car later to go to Sylvan, I checked my phone and noticed that I had a voicemail from Rick (another missionary to Oxford Manor). He said that he had talked to Shonda and that she knew Skye through some line of connections. And then it hit me. Skye... Sha's sister... Sha, the young man who I've mentioned before a few posts ago. Sha used to live with Shonda and he came to Bible study on Thursday nights. I called Brett to inform him of what was going on, but unfortunately I had to go to work. Rick called to say he and Brett were heading over to Oxford Manor. My heart hurt. The last place I wanted to be was at Sylvan. I wanted to be where I should have been earlier in the day. I wasn't at all focused on my students. Since it is Durham's Spring break this week, Sylvan had many no-shows. My boss was kind enough to let me give my students to someone else so that I could go to Oxford Manor and be with my friends. When I got there Brett and Rick were outside talking to Sha already. He seemed so stoic at first, still in shock I'm sure... still processing what had happened. I had nothing to say... no great words of wisdom... but I was there... He did at least smile when I showed up! :) Maybe all I was supposed to do was to be there, give him a big hug, and let him know what we are praying for him. Maybe I don't have to have words of wisdom... not yet anyway. He's not in a place to really hear them right now. It amazed me as I stood with Rick and watched Brett minister to Sha. He didn't say a whole lot... he just stood with him and let him talk. This is a very confusing time for Sha's family. This is a time when we especially need to be on our knees before God begging Him for His glory to shine through all of this. I plead with you, right now, pray for this family. Pray for healing. Pray that many will come to know Christ through this tragedy. Pray for wisdom for Brett, Rick, and I as we seek to serve this community in any way we can. Praise God for His sovereignty in this as well. It's no coincidence that Sha was part of our Bible study and that he is a friend of ours. Praise God that Shonda and Vondeara seem to see this as an opportunity for them to tell others about the Lord (they are growing so much!). Praise God that I am on Spring break with "no plans" and am completely free to be there for whoever needs me!

Psalm 33:20-22

20 Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.

21 For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.

22 Let Your unfailing love, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You.

Pictures!!!

2008-03-24T12:18:00.008-04:00

My parents let me borrow their camera to take a few pictures this weekend.
Enjoy!!

My Dad and I Saturday morning before the egg hunt at the church grew up in, my niece, Lauryn and I, and 'Team Boisvert" - my sister in law (and future niece or nephew!), brother, me, and Lauryn

Amanda, me, and Kina practicing for Saturday night (if you want me to remove this, I will!)

After Saturday night's service, I hung out with the crazy Subletts These are two of the crazies! hehe

Kina and I Amanda and I

Leanne and her man ;) my friend, Brett, and I

Dad, me, Leanne, and Mom Mom and I the precious Lauryn, and Aunt Bonnie!

The Boisvert Families!

Easter update....

2008-03-22T13:28:00.003-04:00

Ok... ok... I finally have someone holding me accountable when I don't update my blog often enough! :) So I guess I'd better get to it!

Let me think... not too much has happened since I last updated, but I'll try to give some highlights. Shonda is doing well, though she and Vondeara are not married yet and are still living together. Ugh. I must remember that ministry is often 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Shonda says she is doing well, and that Vondeara is "respecting her decision" but I can't help but wonder how long that will last!! Please keep both of them in your prayers. They're still planning to have the wedding in May... so if all goes as planned, at least they'll be married before too long!

A little while ago I found my old journals - 4 journals full of writing, starting from about May of 2003 (when I graduated from UNC) until November of 2005 (when I came home from South Africa). Wow. I have gotten away from journalling like I used to, and that's quite unfortunate! It is amazing to look back and revisit everything that was happening in my life 5-3 years ago. God was teaching me some amazing things! When I journal, I write very honestly, so as I was reading the entries, I could almost feel exactly what I was feeling as I wrote. Gosh... I still very much miss the life I used to have in SA, though I realize it was not all roses by any means! Reading the journals (I read them all, page by page) sometimes made me sad - how I wish I could have that life back! But they also made me laugh and remember the awesome times... one common theme of my entries is me reminding myself that "God has a plan and that plan is bigger than me!" I STILL have to remind myself of that truth everyday. Why is it not yet ingrained into my being!! I so often ask God "why?" I know very well that He is in control and that I may never have the answer to all of my whys, and that's ok! He knows why, and as long as He knows, I'm cool with that. :)

As another cool update in Bonnie's life, I have a new family. :) No, my old one isn't gone, and they certainly have not been replaced, but God has blessed me with a Durham family! I've always said that I don't just want to know single 20-somethings in the church. I want to know kids, Moms, Dads, Grandmas, and so forth. Well, recently I've gotten to know the Sublett family better, and I am loving it! I knew this family before I went to South Africa. Actually, their daughter, Jessica, was one of the first kids I knew! When I joined the Summit almost 6 years ago, I started teaching the 3 year old Sunday school class, and Jessica was in my class! Amanda (the Mom) was also in choir, so I knew her from there too. When I went to SA, Amanda was one of the few people who kept in touch with me (hooray for Internet-savvy people!). When I came back though, I never really saw her that much. Funny how that happens. Well, a little while ago, Amanda started singing with the Cole Mill Road praise team! Talk about uncontrollable laughter from the get-go. I fell in love with her all over again (is it ok to say that? I hope so) and concluded that whether the Subletts liked it or not, I was going to become part of their family. ;) Since then I've hung out with the family 3 times now (not counting church), and as long as I don't get on their nerves, I plan to spend lots more time with them. The whole family is a hoot. I love being at their house because I feel like I can be myself and they're totally fine with that. They really are a blessing and an answer to my prayers. I am a family person through and through. I love my single friends, but there's not much that's better to me than hanging out with a family. I pray that as long as God has me in Durham (and as of now I think that will be a while!), I will know and love this family. I want to be around to watch Alex, Jessica and Caleb grow up. They can be my Durham nephews and niece. :) God is so good, and I can never thank Him enough for the ways He blesses me!

I hope that's enough of an update for now... I've been enjoying the last day and a half at home with my Mom and Dad, which has been so nice and relaxing. In a little bit, I'll be heading back to Durham for church. Then as soon as the last song is sung on Sunday, my roommate (Leanne) and I will be coming back to Sanford for Easter dinner with ALL the Boisvert family! Good times... :)

PS- If anyone reading this is thinking, "I miss the pictures, Bonnie... post pictures!" I say to you... you got a camera I can have?? hehe I finally got word that mine is damaged beyond fixing. Sad day in the life of Bonnie. Seriously though, if you have an old one you want to sell to me, let me know! ;)

This is what it's all about!

2008-03-10T22:57:00.003-04:00

I don't know how to put this all into words, but I'll do my feeble best. Last night Shonda, Vondeara (Shonda's fiance) and Vondeara's mom all came to the Gospel class. And to make a long story short, Shonda prayed to give her life to Christ. One thing that excites me is that this wasn't a "church" service... there was no emotional music playing or convicting sermon. It was just a class and JD was talking about our response to salvation. During the discussion part our table (providentially) didn't have a table leader and JD sat down with us. One of the discussion questions was "have you given your life to Christ and if so, when?" When it got to Shonda, she said that until tonight she would have said she wasn't sure, but now she realized that she needed to give her life to Christ and that she wanted to do it "sometime soon." JD said, "so what your saying is..." (he repeated what she had said pretty much). She said yes, and he said, "why don't we pray right now and you tell God that." It was awesome. She just prayed right there. She later told me that she was nervous about praying outloud at the table, but while she was praying she just felt like she had a heavy weight lifted off of her! After the class was over a group of us all went out to Apple Bee's to celebrate. :) We wanted to make sure she knew this was a big deal and that we were so excited for her!

While we were there, the topic of the wedding came up, and we ended up talking about how right now they're still living together and what we were going to do about that. (Cool thing is, I didn't bring it up!) I told them what a Summit pastor had told me and that was that one of two things needed to happen...1)they go to the court house and get legally married now and then have the ceremony later or 2)one of them moves out. At first they were gung ho about going to the court house TODAY to get it done (and Vondeara was all about it too, which is amazing!). Then Shonda decided she needed to think about it first and get a few things straight. Tonight she's staying with her sister (to avoid temptation) and she may be coming to my house the next few nights.

I went to visit with them tonight and let them know what I'd found out about the getting legally married at the court house. I also had to do a little research about what would happen to Shonda's apartment once she became married. She lives in Durham public housing, and they're really picky about rules (as crazy as they may be), and Shonda was thinking that they'd make her move out if she got married. So I called them today and that's not the case! Shonda was grinning from ear to ear when I told her that, and she and Vondeara said they'll go tomorrow to get his name on the lease. Then they can go to the court house and get married! :) Woohoo!!! Please pray for Shonda to continue in her faith, for people to come around her and Vondeara and support their decision to honor God with their relationship.

This is HUGE and AMAZING!!! Our God is so good and faithful to hear our prayers. Please keep praying for the work He is doing in Oxford Manor. I know this is only the beginning!

Stop the madness!

2008-03-07T18:23:00.002-05:00

AHHH!!! Who's in a drought? There's no drought at my house. I've sucked up 8+ gallons of water today that has made it into my kitchen and my laundry room. I'm trying to remain positive about it... but I could use your prayers for that! At the moment I'm choosing to pretend my house isn't flooding and that the cabinets aren't water-logged, and I'm going to hang out with some friends. I'm quite aware that I will come home and have to suck up more water, but oh well. Such is life in a fixer-upper house!

the best feeling EVER!

2008-03-03T22:37:00.005-05:00

I helped a kid learn to read!!!!!!! I have a part time job at Sylvan Learning Center. I always get the little kids, and back in August of 2007 we got "Bob." Bob was starting his 2nd year of kindergarten and was totally -and I mean TOTALLY- clueless. Actually, up until a few weeks ago, he still seemed pretty clueless. We'd work on a letter/sound on Monday and Tuesday he couldn't remember it. Today was a glorious day. Today Bob read 9 words. NINE WORDS! They were all "word family" words (like cat, hat, rat, etc.) and they were simple, but I don't care. He read them... not recognized from memory... I heard him sound out the word. I had tears in my eyes, and I'm not even kidding. If I'd have been alone I probably would have really cried. I made him go read the words to the other teacher that works with him sometimes. I told both my bosses. I bragged on Bob to my friends tonight at church. I am so proud of this little guy! It's so amazing to be a part of this kid's life. I helped him learn to read. I've never done that before. My kids learn pre-reading skills, and I'm proud of them and all.. but reading! Bob is reading!!!! And Ms. Boisvert is ecstatic! :-D

Salvation and Birthday Cake

2008-02-29T00:28:00.003-05:00

Tonight I got to share my heart with the Oxford Manor Bible study. I missed the study last week, and was told by Brett that I missed a doozy. Apparently there was a lady there who was throwing some confusing questions out and really making a mess of the study. So Shonda (the girl facilitating the study) finally had enough and decided to tell everyone that their homework was to go home, study, and find out what they could about salvation. (big topic!) I won't go into detail for lack of time, but I have been going Bible study crazy this past week. I have been falling in love with the Bible and am just now (at the age of 26 and after serving overseas for 2 years)... JUST NOW realizing just how amazing the Bible is. I'm learning that it all goes together... I mean, I knew that, but I didn't "get it." But this week I would be studying one thing in Romans, and it would link to something in 1 Corinthians and that would link to something in Galatians, which links to something in Genesis, which goes back to Romans! Crazy. So I did my "homework" and I came ready to share tonight. It was a bit crazy at first because it was Vandeara's birthday so there were lots of extra people there and cake and fun stuff. But finally we got down to business. We were kind of all over the place for a while, but at one point I had the floor and I started talking, and I couldn't stop! I shared how it breaks my heart that the Gospel is so simple and yet we make it so hard. I shared how Christ came for us, for everyone in that room (some of whom are not yet Christians), and how much He had to give for us. I said over and over again that it's JESUS who saves us, and there's nothing - NOTHING - we can do to add to that. To make it even more amazing, one of the guys who seems to be seeking the most was sitting right across from me, and I had his undivided attention. I don't think I looked away from him for much of my little spiel. God was totally speaking through me. I don't mean that to sounds weird or like spirit possession or anything wacky, but usually I'm pretty quiet at Bible study until a point needs to be made, and I will quietly make that point. This time I was pumped. I couldn't hold it in anymore! People were actually saying "amen," "yes, Lord" and "bring it" while I was talking! Hah! Who'da thought I had it in me? Well, I have the Holy Spirit in me, so I shouldn't be surprised. :) WOOHOO!!! Jesus rocks my world. PLEASE keep praying for this Bible study and the people in it. The guy's name that I mentioned is Sha'. Pray that God will show Sha' more and more of who He is and how much He loves him. He seems to be so close, but I get the feeling that there are things he's just not ready to let go of yet. Thank you for your prayers. I'm not really sure who even reads this blog anymore, but if you do - thank you! Your prayers mean the world to me!

Oh, and on a completely different note... because of a lack of time, my wonderful roommate made Vandeara's cake for me. She started to make the cake and realized she didn't have eggs, and she couldn't go out because the girl she is a nanny for was asleep. So... she used mayonnaise
as a substitute. What in the world!? Yeah... I had no idea you could do that. Good thing her Mom is a real chef, so she knows these things. The cake was fantastic. Who knew? Thanks for the cake, Leanne!!

Genesis / OM update :)

2008-02-20T22:10:00.003-05:00

So... I've embarked on quite an endeavor. I've started reading/listening to "The Bible in 90 Days." Yep... 90 days. I'm pretty stoked about it! I'm actually a day ahead right now... I wanted to finish Genesis! It's crazy that I've heard all these different stories before in my life, but I've never put them all together like I can now that I've heard them all in the order they happened. My one thought after reading Genesis? Dang, these people were pretty messed up! I mean my goodness... we've got denial, murder, lying, cheating, doubting God (over and over again), and I could go on. What stands out to me though, is that God's promise to these people never wavered. God didn't say, "aw man, he messed up... I guess I'll have to go bless someone else now." God knew the doubt, the pain, and the wickedness that these men would undergo. I can't help but let my imagination wander and think that God watched these men, whom He had promised time and time again to bless and make into a great nation, commit great sins against Him. How His heart must have ached. Liars and cheaters... who would've ever thought that God's plan would come about through such people as these?? But wow... How refreshing! Knowing that God can use these men shows me that He can use me too! I know you guys are thinking that I've never murdered someone, I try not to lie, and I don't really think I'm a cheater either. But man, sometimes you can't help but to come face to face with the harsh reality that you are, indeed, a sinner. I have fallen short of the glory of God. We all have, whether we like to admit it or not. But thanks be to God, who sent His Son to redeem me from my sin! Because of Him, and His grace and love for me, I can be a part of God's plan, just like the men from Genesis.

And now... as a bonus for reading this blog... a little Oxford Manor update... The Bible study that Brett and I were trying to get started flopped. FLOPPED! But, get this... we met a couple in Oxford Manor who said that since they could never make it to the Bible study that we were having on Tuesday nights, they decided to start one of their own on Thursday nights. How cool is that? They invited us to it, and we love it! This is now an effort within Oxford Manor... not something that Brett and I (neither of whom live in OM) are trying to get going. So we've joined forces. The couple leading the study is young, and needs guidance. Brett and I aren't all that old and wise, but we have great leaders at the Summit who have taught us one main thing... always bring it around to the Gospel! And we've taken that mindset and are working to teach it to those in Oxford Manor as well. I absolutely love the crazy mix of people that are in this group. They're all pretty young, and they've surely got some struggles and messed up lives. But what have I learned from Genesis? It looks like they're prime candidates for God do some pretty amazing things in and through their lives! Tonight they all came over to my house for dinner. I'd post some photos... but to my dismay... someone dropped my camera on the floor and now it's broken. I was pretty bummed about that, but cool story... later that evening, the girl who dropped it said to Brett and I that something is different about us because we were the only 2 who didn't get upset with her for dropping it. We had yet another opportunity to share God's love and grace with her. Without it in our lives, we surely couldn't give it to her - praise God for His love, mercy and grace! I couldn't stop smiling tonight. This, THIS is what I bought this house for. My new friends live about 4 minutes from my house, and they now know that they are welcome anytime. I love this house, I love my new friends, and I love my LORD!

Amen & Goodnight!

back in business

2008-01-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

Lately God has been rocking my world, and I love it! A couple of months ago my friend, Brett, and I randomly went to visit an Oxford Manor parent who was in the hospital. Ever since that day we have been watching as God slowly but surely unveils His plan for His glory to be made known in Oxford Manor. We've yet to even see a fraction of this plan, but we're both running hard after the main goal - to make God famous and to see Him worshiped in Oxford Manor! We've recently begun an adult Bible study that meets on Tuesday nights. We've only been able to meet twice so far (since once was Christmas and the next was New Years), but we're excited about it. Tonight we had a great plan for the Bible study... Brett was so well prepared to lead tonight... and no one wanted to come! The host's neighbor just happened to be visiting her and she decided to stay. So instead of using the well-planned study, we just opened up the Bible and started talking about what we've been learning lately. We covered a lot and the Gospel was clearly laid out and proclaimed! What seemed like a disappointment at first turned out to an awesome time of getting into God's Word... what more could we ask for? Both ladies seem to want to come to church on Sunday. Pray that they will go through with this desire... that God will keep their paths clear from distraction and that He will burn in them a desire to seek hard after God and His Truth!

I'll be honest... this ministry is much more difficult for me than anything I did in South Africa. Crazy how that works, isn't it? I guess kids' ministries for me were always "safe." I know kids... I know how to teach them and answer their questions. But adults? That's a whole new ballgame and I'm only beginning to scratch the surface of this new adventure! It's amazing though... I may wonder sometimes why God has me in this ministry... I often don't feel adequate or ready for it. But I know He has me here. I know this is where I am supposed to be. And WOW! What a great feeling that is! Nestled right in the middle of God's plan. There isn't a more peaceful place I can imagine.

unrequited love

2007-12-12T11:46:00.001-05:00

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that sometimes your love seems to go unnoticed... unreturned... and sometimes downright abused. Yes, I love Durham - with all my heart I do! But Durham threw me a curve ball the other night. A couple nights ago my house was broken into and robbed. Thank the good Lord that Leanne and I were not home when it happened. They broke in through the back/basement door. They broke the door frame right off - totally avoiding the quality locks that my Dad made sure were installed the day I bought the house! Apparently the alarm sensor on that door was not working (gee, thanks alarm force!). They got away with around $2000 worth of stuff (computer, PS2, games, guitar, jewelry, CD player, DSL modem, wireless router...). God has faithfully provided love and support for us through our church, and the outpouring of prayer and encouragement has been amazing. The night it happened Leanne called some people from out SummitLIFE group. Within minutes, 2 guys from our group were there and we'd received offers to stay with people that night if need be. The next day (Wednesday) I called Kevin Cates because the door frame had been busted in and it needed to be fixed before we could close the door again. (Kevin is the guy who organized the major home repair day we had here back in April.) An hour later he and Ryan were here checking things out. They ended up not only fixing the door, but also installing a bar across the door to put up when we're not home (it was a back/basement door). The door is probably safer now than before! :) Last night, 12 young professional came over to the house to help us get our home back in order. The robbers had literally destroyed our house on the inside. Almost every drawer or basket or box that could be opened was opened, dumped out, and many times strewn around the room. Last night the YPs came with a cleaning vengeance! They cleaned (the forensics lady had dusted for fingerprints and the black dust was everywhere!), folded clothes, swept, organized, and even rewrapped Christmas presents that had been torn into (but not taken - praise the Lord). They made our home a joyful place again just by being there and cleaning with smiles on their faces! Most importantly, they pointed us back to the Gospel and were there to remind us that we serve a God who is sovereign and whose ways are higher than our ways. They encouraged us, prayed with us, and just plain loved on us! I don't know what we would have done without the Summit. How do people get through these things without a family such as this?? I wish I could get this through to those who think that they don't need, or don't have time for, a Summit Life group. Leanne and I could have never planned for this to happen, but it did. And when it did, our Summit family was right there, ready to do whatever they needed to do. Leanne and I are so thankful to have the support system that we have within not only our small group, but also the Summit in general. We are determined that God will get glory out of this! If it's only letting people around us see the joy and peace we can have even in the midst of this, then so be it. Our God is so much bigger than this! :) Today the alarm people came to check out and repair the alarm system. We also opted for a higher level of security. We have an electrician friend who is working on putting a motion sensor flood light in the back of our house too. In the end, I think our house will be more safe than it was before!

So friends, please pray for us and for God's glory to be shown through all of this. Both of us are pretty strong about all of this, but there are definitely jumpy moments when we hear things and notice that we are a little more on edge than we thought we were. There will be moments when it will be easy to let fear get the best of us, and I really covet your prayers in this area! There's not much that's more personal than your home... I keep thinking about the fact that people were here... in my bedroom! I have to make a conscious effort not to let those thoughts get the best of me.

I think it is very interesting that JD's sermon on Sunday covered the topic of fear. The sermon was based off of Psalm 27. The first point JD made was to acknowledge your fears - to realize that bad things might happen. The second point was to use your fears to be a messenger to show what we care most about. The one thing David (the writer of the Psalm) wanted was to see God's face. This is what Leanne and I want - we want to seek and know God more though this. Also, JD made the point that David did not feel victimized, even though in the world's eyes he had the right to! Leanne and I could feel like victims... our home was broken into and valuables were taken. More than the valuables, our sense of security was robbed. But you know what?? The Bible says to consider it pure joy when we face trials of any kind (James 1:2)! So praise the Lord! Hallelujah! Leanne and I truly believe that we are whole heatedly seeking God in our lives right now, and if this is what happens as a result, well then... bring it on!

Well, I need to be getting some sleep. "I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me." Psalm 3:5

More Home Repairs!

2007-11-19T13:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I think my roommate thought I was crazy. I looked at her and said, "you know, I'm kind of excited that something is broke in the house and that I get to fix it today." Ha! My how things have changed over the past year and a half. Lately things have been going very smoothly for my little old house. A couple of nights ago though, I noticed that my bedroom was strangely cold. On Saturday I finally investigated and found out that the duct connected to my bedroom had fallen down. So basically, all of the air that was supposed to be going into my bedroom, was going into the crawl space - not good! My friend, Brett, and I tried to fix it right then, but we couldn't get the duct to come up far enough (we did however, have to tape a hanger to a broom and fish out the duct from the hole in my floor!), and we had to get going anyway (to the Christmas tree lighting! but that's another story:)). So, after church on Sunday Brett came back over and we worked some more on trying to get it to come through the hole in my bedroom floor so that we could attach it. (The house is built so that you can't get to the underside of this duct from under the house.) We finally managed to get it up through the hole, but then we had to made a Lowe's-run to get a piece we needed (I can't remember the name of it). Eventually we were able to attach the duct, but then we couldn't get the grille back over the hole! Oh well... at least now the heat is coming into my room! Guess I'll have to get Dad back up here soon so he can help me fix the rest of it. Is it crazy that I actually enjoy this kind of thing now? I like trying to figure out how to fix things! How funny...

a long lost love...

2007-11-14T14:01:00.000-05:00

I know... I know... it's been forever since I have updated. There's a lot I could write about, but to spare you, I'll focus on one thing for now. Last month I rediscovered a long lost love.... CAMPING! Since October, I have been camping 3 times - once with a friend, then with my family, and then we went camping for Leanne's birthday! Too bad this love was rediscovered as the weather is finally turning cold! There's just something awesome about getting out of the house... away from television, computers, and radios... away from NOISE! (well, unless you go with a lot of friends like the last time I went) Don't get me wrong - I very much enjoy the comforts of home and my comfy bed! But every once in a while it does a body and soul good to get away from these comforts and spend time outside in God's beautiful creation! And nothing can replace the cozy feeling of being around a campfire with special people. :) Hopefully I will go camping many more times in the future!

I plan to update more in the near future... I promise!

something to remember when I'm a "seasoned" teacher

2007-08-28T17:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a very long but awesome day. I, and my amazing assistant ,started bright and early in our classroom. We labeled, organized and speculated. We also had 4 parent teacher conferences - 2 of which were in Spanish! God has been so good in helping me remember words. One of the Moms (who is doing well in learning English herself) told me I have a good Spanish accent. What a wonderful compliment!! Then, a little later in the day, one of the other pre-k teachers and her assistant came by to see if we needed any help setting up our classroom. They were so wonderful. To be honest, they didn't "do" much... we'd already done a lot, and I'm still horrible about doling out tasks on the fly. They ended up putting up paper and border on our 3 bulletin boards, which was VERY helpful, but the lead teacher, Cindy, ended up doing more than any other teacher I've met yet. She told me many things she liked about the classroom. Then she asked me how I handle center time. After I explained it to her, she looked at her assistant and said, "We are going to do that!" (And today when I saw them again, they said they'd already made a chart like the one I use:)) Wow. To hear a teacher, who has been teaching for many years, say that she is going to use my idea made my teacher ego soar! I had some issues last year with my new supervisor telling me all the things she didn't like about my classroom, and not much at all about what she liked. I felt like I was a great teacher, but she made me have some doubts. Well, I've been finding my nitch the past couple of days. I like where I am, as a teacher, right now. I kind of have that "new teacher" excitement still because I've really only taught for 1.5 years, and I'm finally where I've wanted to be from the beginning. But, I'm about 4 years older than a brand new teacher would be, and I have a little bit of life experience under my belt. ;) I'm new enough that I've still got some "fresh ideas" to try out (and tell others about apparently!), but experienced enough to know about some things that work and don't work. So yeah... the past couple of days have been great. And I definitely need to remember when I'm a seasoned teacher and meeting young, doe-eyed teachers... find an idea they have, and adopt it! And be positive positive positive! Oh... and at our pre-k meeting today, Cindy was appointed as my "mentor." Hooray! The Lord is good, and His mercies endure forever! :-D

Mi escuela nueva!

2007-08-25T15:37:00.000-04:00

*My new school!*

Ok, so after enough "encouragement" from my mother, I'm finally going to update you all on what's new in the life of Bonnie B! The biggest news is that I am finally teaching in Durham Public Schools. Since college (4 years ago!) I have wanted to teach in Durham. My whole vision when I came home from South Africa (gosh... almost 2 years ago now) was to "be" in Durham... live in Durham, work in Durham, and go to church in Durham. I always thought it was more difficult to invite people to come to church when it was pretty far away! By the grace of God, and in His true fashion "just in time," I got a call from the pre-k coordinator in Durham Public Schools. She called me the Sunday before I was to start teacher workdays for Orange County! It was a crazy, whirl-wind week, with me changing my mind every other day about what I wanted to do, but in the end, I knew it was finally my time to teach in Durham. There are some perks to Orange County's program that I will miss, like shorter days for the kids, a bilingual teacher in the room, and 3 adults in each classroom. I'm having to brush up on my Spanish, but yesterday I learned that I am capable of calling Spanish speaking parents and coordinating parent/teacher conferences! I was pretty psyched that the parents and I could communicate on the phone... maybe just in short, kindergarten sentences, but it's better than nothing! :) Maybe not having a bilingual teacher will be a plus - I'll be forced to relearn everything I used to know. I typically don't handle changes well... I know they are inevitable, but for some reason, they always catch me off guard. So the past couple of days have been somewhat difficult as I've tried to get to know some of the teachers, learn the policies and procedures of a new program, and reorganize my life around a new schedule. But the stress will be worth it I think. It may take me time to adjust, but I know I am where I am supposed to be for right now. And now... I have a whole notebook of salary and benefits papers staring at me, and they're not going to fill themselves out. Time to get some work done! Thanks for checking in...

finally painting!

2007-08-14T23:51:00.001-04:00

After living in this house for about 14 months, I'm finally painting! Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I am waking up to go buy a few forgotten supplies. Then I'm going to paint the downstairs. What once was purple, will become a lovely pale yellow. I can't wait to see how the lighter color will brighten up the room! I'm excited to be at a point where I can start to do some "cosmetics" to the house. For the past year I've done nothing but fix and repair... There are definitely still some repairs that need attention, but they can wait. This little house deserve some pampering. ;) I got thinking the other day about how this house represents my life. I absolutely adore this house... even with its flaws (some minor, and some MAJOR!). It was in terrible shape when I bought it. It had sat empty for at least a year and a half. I had to clean from top to bottom. There were spider webs, bugs had taken up residence, and the whole house smelled of mildew. The water heater was on its way out, and decided to bust the first time we used it, the refrigerator died within 2 weeks, the heater/air conditioner has malfunctioned 4 times (at least), the kitchen flooded multiple times, the floor in the living room was caving in, and I could keep going... (really, I could!). There have been days when I simply wished for one week without something going wrong! So much has been done to this house. Today a friend of mine, who has heard about the house for a year now, but never seen it, came by for a visit. She came in and said, "what a cute house!" And my response was, "Yep, I sure do love it. I've had to do a lot of work on it, and there's still so much left to do, but it's mine, and I really do love it." :) You know... I can imagine God saying that about me sometimes. I was a mess when He bought me. He had to clean me up from head to toe. He's always having to clean up my messes and fix my broken pieces. I'm feel like there are some times when He wishes that I could go one week without something going wrong. And yet, He loves me. I am His, and He Has already taken care of every problem that may come my way. Nothing surprises Him. I can almost imagine Him chatting with the angels and saying, "There's my Bonnie. I sure do love her. I've had to do a lot of work on her, and there's still so much left to to, but she's mine, and I really do love her." :)

vacation #1

2007-07-15T23:44:00.000-04:00

I'll keep this short and sweet for the moment... the trip up here was long, but uncomplicated, which is good! Friday night we just chilled out at the hotel. Saturday morning we headed over to my aunt's house and then went to a family member's 50th wedding anniversary. It was nice to see family, but what I was really excited about was seeing my friend, Melissa! We worked together in South Africa and have stayed in touch since we both came back to the States. My parents drove me to her house Saturday evening. After they left, Mel and I had dinner and then went to Dennis and Nikki's house. The plan was to just go to this one store and then hang out. Well, when we got into the car, Dennis said, "let's go to Chick-fil-a!" Now, the closest chick-fil-a in Toledo, Ohio (and we were in Michigan). So... we went to Toledo (about an hour away). Random, but fun! :) We went to Lifeway Christian Bookstores first (apparently there's not one of these close to Melissa either). Randomly, we saw a guy that once came on a mission trip to South Africa. Then we went to chick-fil-a, which made Dennis a very happy man. Everyone but me (the one from the South) got a big ole cup of sweet tea. Dennis is from Michigan, but I swear he thinks he's from the south... it's funny really. After that we went to Cold Stone (mmm...) and then went in search of a Wal*Mart. We finally left Wal*Mart (when they closed!) at 11:00 and headed back to Michigan. Fun times all around... I haven't laughed as much as I did in those few hours in a very long time!! Sunday morning I went to church with Melissa (her Dad is the pastor). After church she had to take me back to my aunt's house for the family reunion. We made a short stop at one of the coolest stores EVER called the Flower Factory. They have really cool, really cheap home decor stuff. I wish I had more money and more time to spend there, and I wish we had this store in NC! Oh well, a good reason to come back to MI. :) Finally, we arrived at my aunt's house and Mel and I said our good-byes. The reunion was a lot of fun. Lauryn (my youngest niece) was adorable, and such an entertainer. And it was great seeing my cousins again. One of them is an elementary school librarian, and after talking to her, I am seriously considering going to grad school for library science! It's something I've thought about before, but now I'm more motivated to actually pursue it... we'll see how that goes once I get back home and settled into real life again. Now I'm back at the hotel and ready to crash. Tomorrow we head for Kentucky! (Thanks for the tip Jessica!)

Have a great week, and thanks for checking in!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

Hope for Durham!

2007-07-11T23:48:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of the Summit's "mission trip to Durham" aka Hope for Durham. I'm so incredibly blessed to be part of a church that knows that we must love our city if we want to see her changed into a place where God is worshipped. Today I helped out at a place called the Agape Corner. It is a Christian boarding school right in the middle of the roughest area in Durham. (I'm not exaggerating... the street the house is on was recently designated as one of the top crime hot spots in Durham.) Anyway, Todd, my partner in crime, and I spent the day priming and painting a couple places in the house... one of the them being the laundry room WHILE they were doing laundry!! Talk about HOT! I'm pretty sure it was cooler outside! :) All was well though. I got to meet Todd, who is in the orchestra at the Summit. I always enjoy getting to know people that I normally wouldn't talk to much at the Summit. Anyway, here are a few pictures from today. I can't write too much... I need to finish packing! Friday morning I leave to go on vacation with my family. We're going to Michigan, where I not only get to see my family, but I also get to hang out with Melissa!!!!!! (I worked with her in SA.) Then we're travelling through a couple states and will eventually end up in Tennessee for a wedding. Hooray for vacation! :)

Ok, here are the photos...

Horizontal Lighting

2007-07-10T23:59:00.000-04:00

This evening we had a pretty great thunderstorm in Durham. As I was driving to Bible study, I saw something I haven’t seen in a very long time: horizontal lightning! Usually I love storms while at home, and hate them while driving, but this time I didn’t care where I was. You see, the last place I saw horizontal lightning was in South Africa. For my last year in SA, I lived in a really nice apartment with an awesome view. Whenever it stormed, I could see the lightning for what seemed like a hundred miles. Johannesburg is somewhat known for their spectacular lightning storms, and I had the perfect view from which to admire them. I’ve never really understood why I like storms so much, but maybe one reason is that they remind me of just how big this world is, and how much bigger our God is, who created it all, and holds it all in His hands. Lightning is a huge and magnificent power – how much more powerful is our God!? It makes me feel so small, yet so comfortable to know that the same God who created the lightning created me as well. I am comforted to know that God has a plan for me – a plan greater than He had for even that huge bolt of lightning that I witnessed today. I am forever wondering what that plan is, and I’m always trying to stay one step ahead of God… trying to figure out His will for my life before He’s ready for me to go there. I wish I had a simple answer to the question of how to stop doing that, but in all honesty, I don’t! (Any advice is coveted!) I try to take one step at a time, but it’s so difficult at times. Just when I start to feel comfortable here, in Durham, in the wonderful life I’m living, I reconnect with a South African friend… we talk about life in South Africa, what I’ve been missing, and what I’ve been doing here. It’s always nice, but this time she told me about this teaching possibility in South Africa. The chances of things working out for me to do what she was telling me about are slim to none, but still… it made me think about it again. It makes me wonder whether I’ve been doing the right thing here in Durham. I mean, I bought a house for goodness sakes! Talk about having strings attached to Durham. And not just any house, but my special little house… I can’t just up and leave! This is what happens though… I’ll go weeks, months even, without missing SA, and then out of the blue - WHAM! – my heart is aching again to be back there. But… the lightning tonight reminds me: God is in control. He’s got it, and I can trust Him. When I want to question what God’s will is for my life, He has already told me in His Word. “He has shown you, oh man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8 Lord, help me walk.

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

update on Brian

2007-06-01T12:41:00.000-04:00

Good news!! It looks as if my 11 year old nephew passed a kidney stone... crazy. His kidney looks to be fine now, and last I heard they were planning to send him home this afternoon. I think it's bizarre that yesterday the doctors said it looked like his kidney was failing, and now it's fine. LOTS of people were alerted to his condition yesterday, and LOTS of people started praying. I believe God heard those prayers on Brian's behalf! I'll update again if anything changes. Thanks for praying!!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

Pray for Little B!

2007-05-31T22:25:00.000-04:00

He'd probably kill me for calling him "Little B" in a public sphere like the world wide web, but he'll get over it. ;) A couple weeks ago Brian had appendicitis. He had to stay a bit longer because his appendix burst during the surgery. Well, last night (Thursday night) he went back to the emergency room (in Sanford) because he wasn't keeping anything down (including the antibiotics they had him on from the appendicitis). Well... in all honesty, I can't report things exactly, but the run down, as I know it, is this... Brian only has one kidney (apparently he was born that way). The "good kidney" is now having issues. This morning I heard it was failing, but when I visited him this evening, they weren't sure about that. I'll probably have to wait till tomorrow to learn more. They transferred him to Duke because they couldn't do any more for him in Sanford. So, he's in my neck of the woods now! Please be praying for God to make it known that He is with Brian, as well as with his whole family. Jamie (his Mom) is so tired of hospitals! And I'm sure Little B is too. Pray that God will give them peace as they await reports from the doctors. God is good, and I know He is with them!! Thanks!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

Hooray for being appreciated!

2007-05-10T14:07:00.000-04:00

It's so nice to be appreciated! This week is "Teacher Appreciation Week." It happens to come at a perfect time. :) It's the end of the year, and it's easy to think that no one cares (especially the parents) about what we teachers do. But this week has been nice, to say the least. :)

Wonderful Weekend

2007-05-06T23:34:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful weekend!! It all got started with a much needed nap… all 2 hours and 15 minutes of it. I was expecting Leanne to come home from work earlier than that and wake me up, but alas, she did not… so I slept for a long time. Like I said, it was much needed. The nap was quite helpful in staying up Friday night to watch Spider-Man 1 and 2 at la casa de Chris, Clifford y Jason. Yes, we watched both movies in one night… and yes, it was a late night. Unfortunately I had to be up in the morning to go to Sylvan… I somehow stayed awake for a few hours for work and then headed over to Oxford Manor. It was raining, so Oxford Manor kids club was cancelled. So, I did what any responsible young woman would do… I called Leanne and asked if she wanted to go shopping. She said yes, so the shopping commenced. After finding some great deals, we came home to get ready for another fun-filled evening. We drove over to Brier Creek to watch Spider-Man 3 (hence the watching of 1 and 2 on Friday night). I’m no movie critic, and I hardly feel qualified to comment on how well the movie was made, but it sure seemed amazing to me! After the movie, we all (the many who had gathered to watch Spider-Man) made our way over to Sips coffee house in Durham to hang out with more YPs than I even knew existed, and to be hilariously entertained by none other than the likes of Rhett and Link (www.rhettandlink.com). Much fun. Much laughter. And a lovely white mocha with raspberry flavouring. Some friends went to a late dinner and some went to karaoke afterwards, but I somehow stuck to my commitment to go to bed at a reasonable hour since I had to wake up extra early this morning to sing on the praise team at church. Somehow I didn’t think I would be glorifying God very much with a voice that had only about 3 hours of sleep! So I came home, went to bed, and woke up early this morning to start yet another full day of excitement. I sang on the praise team for all three services this morning, which is always fun… though a tad bit tiring. We went to Las Palmas after church… hadn’t been there in quite a while. I got to talk to Nikki more than I have before, and she’s quite a funny character (in a good way, Nikki!). The idea was birthed to have a movie night here… so we all went our separate ways for a few hours. Leanne and I went to ESL, where usually I help watch the kids… but today they had more students than usual, so I got to work with a lovely lady name Laura. I was nervous (I’m used to teaching kids, not adults!) but we had a good time and got to practice some English. Good times. After ESL, we trekked home again to prepare for the movie night. Not long after, the friends got here, and we hung out for a short bit before watching the movie on Leanne’s new TV! (Bless you, Leanne!) Now, I’m about to go to bed… once again tired, and once again wishing Monday morning wasn't coming so stinkin’ early. But hey, if having friends like these means being a little tired at work… bring on the coffee!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

tidbit of insight

2007-04-25T06:44:00.000-04:00

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Selah.
(Psalm 68:19)

I was reading this Psalm this morning. You know how there are things you kinda know about God, but they don't really dawn on you right away? This verse kind of was like that for me this morning. This verse showed me, plain and simple, that God daily bears us up. He is out salvation. Selah! I wasn't sure what Selah meant, though I've seen it in the Bible many times. So, I used my handy dandy e-sword resources and learned that Selah means a suspension of music, or a pause. In other words... the Lord daily bears us up, He is our salvation. Pause. Stop. Think about it!! God is bearing me up today. He bore my sin and my burdens yesterday and will do the same for tomorrow, but for today I need to pause and remember that the Lord is to be blessed (or adored, as e-sword says) right now because He is bearing me up, He is carrying my burdens and carrying me through this day. He is my salvation. SELAH!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

families away from family

2007-04-24T23:17:00.000-04:00

I am realizing that I have got to be one of the luckiest girls in the world. It seems like wherever I go, God blesses me with amazing friends and people to call my family away from family. This never happens right away, but over time, I am constantly being blessed with new, and very different friends. A strange thing is happening lately. My American friends are using text message (smses) more and more, and my South African friends are jumping on the internet communications bandwagon (facebook, myspace...) It's amazing! In the past few days I have been able to reestablish communication with friends across the globe that I haven't talked to (or smsed) in months. It makes my heart do funny things though. On one hand it makes me so sad to think that I haven't seen my SA friends in a year and a half. So much has changed, I'm sure, and I haven't been there for a bit of it. I've tried to keep in touch, but that's so much easier said than done. I thank God for cingular, the one cell phone company here through which I can send smses to South Africa! But even smses don't convey what's really happening in a person's life. Yeah, "life is good" but what does that mean, really!? What have I missed? And what have they missed about my life? Gosh... a lot! But, on the flip side, "meeting" back up with them online makes me so incredibly happy... like maybe everything hasn't changed, and they do still remember me. Maybe they do still want to be my friend, even though I am thousands of miles away. It makes me realize that it's awesome to have people to miss and be missed by. It means that God blessed me in incredible ways during my time in South Africa. He didn't just send me there to do His work and then come home. He allowed me to build friendships with many life changing people. People who challenged me to think beyond how I'd always thought, and helped me to grow deeper in my knowledge of who Christ is. Oh, how I miss Johannesburg. I miss everything about it... the crazy traffic, the smell of feld fires, babies peeing on me on a regular basis (hehe)... Sunday night church services at NUC (and of course Mugg & Bean afterwards!), game nights at my cool flat... I miss it all. BUT!!

My how God has blessed me here. For many many months after my return a year and a half ago, I wondered if I would ever have friends like I did in SA again. My friends there were different than friends I'd had before. Many of them were studying at the Baptist College there, and were ministry minded like me. They were lots of fun (on many different levels!) but they were also strong and God-centered people. When I came back to the States, I had a couple friends, and that was it. At first I met a few people here and there, and they were cool on the surface... but there wasn't much underneath. In SA, I'd learned to look beneath the surface in seeking friendships. I'd learned the benefit of seeking out friends who are real and true people... not afraid to let you see who they really are. I found that hard here though. No one wanted to be real, and no one wanted me to see them for who they really were. I felt more alone in those first few months here than I'd ever felt anywhere, including South Africa (and I felt pretty alone for a while there before I met the amazing people I referred to already). I can't pinpoint one specific day that things changed. Well... maybe I can. Last year, the Sunday of Memorial day, Robin coaxed some of the young professionals (yps) into going to Frankie's to play putt-putt since we didn't have to work the next day. I almost didn't go... but reluctantly decided to at the last minute. I remember having the most fun I'd had in months, and then staying at Robin's house with Josh and Jon until the wee hours of the morning. And all of a sudden, I had friends. I didn't know at the time how awesome they would turn out to be. Didn't know that Josh would turn out to be a powerhouse yp leader with a quite contagious hunger for God's word. Didn't know that Robin would turn out to be a dear friend who has taught me many a things about hospitality, friendships, and dancing (thanks Robin!). Sure didn't know that Jon would turn out to be my Bible study leader less than a year later and quite possibly be the most important person in the life of my house up to this point (besides my Dad, that is!). And that's just 3 people. Tonight I saw something that rocked my world. It doesn't seem huge, but it was in my eyes. Tonight was prayer meeting at the Summit, and at the end of prayer meeting, they introduce the new members and if you know them, you go down and pray with them. Tonight 3 young professionals joined. When the invitation was offered to come down and pray with them, practically the entire 3 rows of YPs got up to go pray with our friends. Amazing. Priceless. This is our family. This is the family I have when I can't go home. We're an eclectic bunch, to say the least. We have our share of issues and differences, but what family doesn't?? I know I'd be lost without them... without their contributions of event planning, witty humour, prayers, home repairs, late night conversations, and who knows what else!? Many of these friends are studying at the local seminary. Many have done missions in the past, or plan to in the future. Even my new roommate (the one, the only, Leanne!) is called to missions, and understands my heart more than I ever thought anyone besides my Mom and lifelong best friend could! God has blessed me once again. I don't deserve this! I have done nothing special to earn these friends, and that's what rocks. God gives freely and without holding back when we earnestly seek and desire to do His will. I sure have been trying lately, but I know it's not my doing, but His! He is the reason I have the friends I have now. He has brought each and every one of them into my life for a purpose. I couldn't be more in awe of His goodness to me than I am right now. He is faithful to do as He promised in Psalm 68:8 (a verse I found and clung to in a lonely time in SA)... "God sets the lonely in families." Praise be to the God who keeps His promises!

Link to pictures:
http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81

Karaoke

2007-04-22T02:00:00.000-04:00

I promise to actually write later... for now, just enjoy some photos...

in His time

2007-04-15T22:56:00.000-04:00

I bought my house almost a year ago. I knew it would be a challenge. It's 80 years old, and was a foreclosure house with lots of issues. A guy gave me a great estimate on the major repairs, and my plan was to have him finish them before I ever moved in. A couple weeks later he got sick. (Convenient, eh?) He never could come do the work, so I had another guy give me an estimate. Basically, after asking me how my realtor convinced me to buy this house, he said he'd let me know if he thought it was "worth fixing." He never got back with me. I had a third guy from the Summit come and give me an estimate, and his was pretty reasonable, but still over $1000. I figured I'd just take a part-time job, and wait till the summer to be able to get the work done. Then I found out that Kevin, a guy who helps out on the first impressions team on Sunday mornings (as do I) remodels old houses for a living. How I had not known that previously, I have no idea. I asked him if he could come check the house out and give me an estimate. He came out a week or so later on a Sunday afternoon. On Monday night he called me and said to find out who was willing to come out and help (young professionals from the Summit). He also said that he was able to get everything donated. I was floored. I was humbled. And I was in shock for a good 30 minutes. :) That was a month ago. Yesterday a year of prayer and tears came to fruition. Around 10 young professionals came out ready to work, and work HARD! They dug deep ditches for the french drains, cleaned out a nasty crawl space, jacked up the floor, installed a sump pump, fixed the front stairs, installed the french drains, ripped up carpet, installed new (well, new to me) hardwood flooring in the living room, and I'm sure I'm missing something... As I watched all of this unfold, I had to stop myself from tearing up many times. Was this really all happening? Indeed, it was. This is what the Church is, my friends. I don't have a clue how people ever make it without family like this. Where would I be without the Summit? Where would I be if God has not sovereignly placed me here almost 5 years ago (wow... it really has been that long!)? I don't even want to think about it. I'm sitting in my living room as I type this. I look around and see the handiwork of so many summit members in this one room alone. Thanks guys, you've made this house a home.

I uploaded all of my pictures from this weekend onto facebook. Let me know if these links don't work for you!
Work day page 1
Work day page 2

here are a few random shots... but the links above have almost 100 pictures, so take a look!

Link to other pictures: http://community.webshots.com/user/bonnieb81